A message that bears repeating

[Sanchez]

You bet I am.

I have PCOS, which makes it incredibly hard to lose weight, even when you're following a sensible diet and exercising like crazy. So yeah, after a few months, when you don't see any results and you're doing everything you're "supposed to", you give up.

Unlike my DH, who decided to drop some weight and took to riding his bike a few times a week, changing nothing else. He's dropped 27 lbs in six weeks.

Stuff like this makes me angry that no matter what I do, I'm still not acceptable to some people, because of what they see on the outside.

I think you are proving Firedancer's point. In your mind it is justifiable to attack Jujube because she is thin. However, if I questioned you on the details of your "sensible diet" and that you are "exercising like crazy" I suspect that your response would not be pleasant.

 

[SaraJayne]

I think you are proving Firedancer's point. In your mind it is justifiable to attack Jujube because she is thin. However, if I questioned you on the details of your "sensible diet" and that you are "exercising like crazy" I suspect that your response would not be pleasant.

You can ask.

I won't bother answering, but go ahead.

 

[Colleen27]

He told her to change because he doesn't like the way she looks now, is what it boils down to.

And that, in a nutshell, is why we can't have candid and honest discussions about obesity and health - because in a lot of people's minds, it is primarily an issue of appearance rather than one of lifestyle/habits.

Good for you but not all women are like that.

Studies have shown that men lose weight easier than women.
Studies have also shown that men do less housework/childcare than women leaving them with more free time to workout.
Men don't go through pregnancy or have the fluctuating hormones that can cause women to gain weight.

Men have it much easier in the weight department.

Not to mention no birth control. I swear that's what did me in. Every time I tried a different hormonal birth control I gained more weight and had a harder time losing it even after coming off the meds. The 9 months I was on depo provera alone account for 3/4 of the weight I've been trying to lose for the last too many years. I suspect that somewhere along the line I permanently set my metabolism to "comatose slug" rather than "active 30-something" and try as I might I haven't found the secret to undoing that. But since I don't want to breed the next Duggar family it was one of those necessary evils in life during the years before we were ready for permanent measures.

I don't know about fixation, but we should certainly focus on the obesity problem. The statistics are staggering and the myriad of health problems related to obesity need to be considered. Just as we have a responsibility to educate our children to provide them with appropriate opportunity in life we should also teach them a healthy lifestyle. (And this is where someone usually chimes in that even though they are overweight/obese they are healthy.) One can be overweight/obese and have "good statistics" but the percentages are against those body types avoiding significant health problems.

I think a good first step would be to redefine the problem based on something other than than the admittedly flawed BMI measure. Body fat percentage, waist-to-height ratios, and a number of other quick, easily measured gauges exist that do a better job of accounting for differences in body type and build, including many of the variations that account for "overweight but healthy" by the BMI measure.

But if BMI is to remain the measure of choice we need a redefining of how BMI is applied for children, to a fixed standard similar to what is used for adults rather than percentiles. It makes no sense that a young man who is at an acceptable BMI for an adult of his size should be defined as overweight or obese because he's bigger than his peers, but you find that all the time with student athletes. I don't care what the experts say, a teenage boy wearing a 30" or 32" waist uniform isn't obese by any stretch of the imagination and labeling them as such only serves to make people skeptical of the whole "obesity epidemic" issue as a whole.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I had c sections. Metabolism can be changed through exercise. It's kind of like you have 3 students, one doesn't have to study and makes straight As, one has to glance at their notes and makes As and the third student has to really study and gets As. All are A students but it takes a different amount of effort for each of them to achieve the grade.
If anyone, including new mothers, experience depression, they need to get to their doctor. Back when I had my first 2 children, PPD was not recognized by doctors. Now, it is. There's help and I would encourage seeking it. Depression besides making a person feel sad also has a negative effect on metabolism.
Pregnancy without a doubt causes crazy hormonal changes. In some women the hormonal changes would affect the way they gain/lose weight. Some though have the attitude that because they're pregnant, they can eat whatever and as much as they like.

Just burns my chaps to see a MAN calling out a women with young children on her weight. He has NO idea what we go through. NONE.
Again I'm assuming that it's POSSIBLE as a mom of 3 young kids her weight MAY be related to child bearing/rearing.

But until a MAN goes through c-section, hormonal changes, breastfeeding, PPD they have absolutely no grounds in making any kind of comments about the weight of a young mother.

 

[CdnCarrie]

I think you are proving Firedancer's point. In your mind it is justifiable to attack Jujube because she is thin. However, if I questioned you on the details of your "sensible diet" and that you are "exercising like crazy" I suspect that your response would not be pleasant.

She was calling Jujube out as she was being smug at how easy her weight came off after giving birth.

 

[CdnCarrie]

And that, in a nutshell, is why we can't have candid and honest discussions about obesity and health - because in a lot of people's minds, it is primarily an issue of appearance rather than one of lifestyle/habits.



Not to mention no birth control. I swear that's what did me in. Every time I tried a different hormonal birth control I gained more weight and had a harder time losing it even after coming off the meds. The 9 months I was on depo provera alone account for 3/4 of the weight I've been trying to lose for the last too many years. I suspect that somewhere along the line I permanently set my metabolism to "comatose slug" rather than "active 30-something" and try as I might I haven't found the secret to undoing that. But since I don't want to breed the next Duggar family it was one of those necessary evils in life during the years before we were ready for permanent measures.

OM freaking G heck yes! Birth control pills made me gain 10 lbs!

Condoms don't do that to a man!

 

[Kennywife]

I think you are proving Firedancer's point. In your mind it is justifiable to attack Jujube because she is thin. However, if I questioned you on the details of your "sensible diet" and that you are "exercising like crazy" I suspect that your response would not be pleasant.

Just because it is easy for some to lose weight doesn't mean it is easy for everyone. This one size fits all really doesn't work for everybody. What happened to different strokes? So some of us are plus size and some are not. And? So? Does that mean that those of us who are larger are ugly or unattractive? NO. It's who we are and I get so tired of this attitude that everyone must look exactly alike to be accepted. People come in ALL shapes and sizes, that's what makes them beautiful.

 

[luvsJack]

See, its okay for you to say that, but what if Kiera was 200lbs and you said that? You'd be raked through the coals here, and elsewhere.

It really shouldn't be about the size of a person and how they got that way. It should be about that person being happy with themselves however they are. That is what a good body image is about.

But the fact is that if a model or actress goes to some extreme to change her body--intentionally, not by gaining weight because she is pregnant or whatever--then she is going to influence a young girl in the wrong way.

 

[Sanchez]

Just because it is easy for some to lose weight doesn't mean it is easy for everyone. This one size fits all really doesn't work for everybody. What happened to different strokes? So some of us are plus size and some are not. And? So? Does that mean that those of us who are larger are ugly or unattractive? NO. It's who we are and I get so tired of this attitude that everyone must look exactly alike to be accepted. People come in ALL shapes and sizes, that's what makes them beautiful.

Aside from the opportunity to express your platitudes, I am not sure of the point of this. I never said that it was easy for everyone to lose weight or that everyone needs to be the same. The point is that it appears to be acceptable to attack those who are thin and not acceptable to attack those who are not.

If you are happy with the way you are then you are to be congratulated. It really makes no difference to me.

 

[luvsJack]

It's derogatory either way.




Like what? All I've done is watch what I eat.
Men do have an easier time losing weight. That just means if women want to either maintain their weight or lose it that we have to be more aware. I consider housework and playing with my children 2 of the things that have helped me to stay at a good weight. Shoot, that's a lot of exercise!
To work out my arms, I use canned goods. There's an exercise program called flex breathing which is excellent. I have a bad back and can do this with no problem. It's the program that I'm restarting today. It takes 15-20 minutes and really works. My kids crack up at the breathing technique but so what it gives fantastic results.



Maybe she has a thin build and good metabolism. Is it ok for me to make the presumption that the news anchor eats way too much junk food? No, because I don't know how she got heavy.

Maybe she does. I have no idea, I was just saying what the assumption is. And that assumption comes from her being a relatively normal weight in one movie and then being extremely thin in the next one.

Its great that you have been able to keep your weight down and it sounds like you worked hard at it. That doesn't make it ok for you to assume that others can do the same. Its not that easy for everyone. There are many roadblocks in weight loss, especially when it's more than 2 lbs.

 

[jujube]

You can ask.

I won't bother answering, but go ahead.

My daughter has PCOS and it takes more effort for her to mantain her weight. She really has to watch what she eats and has to exercise.

Another thing many women don't realize is that once women reach their mid to late 30s, approximately 30% are hypothyroid. I am. I went to my doctor because I felt draggy, had brain fog, and maintaining my weight became harder. My doctor put me on thyroid supplements (armour tyroid) and I got my life back. It isn't speed and it isn't a diet pill. It helps to bring the thyroid levels back to normal. Being on thyroid meds doesn't mean that I can eat tons of food but it allows me, if I eat properly, to maintain my weight. I equate it to a diabetic needing insulin.

Hypothyroidism can cause:

Decreased heart rate and cardiac output

Increased weight

Decreased hunger

Pain where the ribs meet the sternum

Memory loss

Morning headaches and dizziness

Hair loss

Brittle nails

Sensitivity to cold

Constipation

Ringing in the ears

Allergies

A frog-like husky voice

Muscular sluggishness and weakness

Lowered sex drive

Lowered immunity

Dry skin

Heavy and/or irregular menstrual flow

Puffy face

Miscarriage- My SIL miscarried several times. She went to see my doctor and found out she was hypothyroid. He put her on thyroid meds, she got pregnant pretty quickly, and carried her beautiful baby to term.

A lot of these symptoms are associated with aging but if they're related to hypothyroidism, they can be corrected.

 

[LisaR]

You bet I am.

I have PCOS, which makes it incredibly hard to lose weight, even when you're following a sensible diet and exercising like crazy. So yeah, after a few months, when you don't see any results and you're doing everything you're "supposed to", you give up.

Unlike my DH, who decided to drop some weight and took to riding his bike a few times a week, changing nothing else. He's dropped 27 lbs in six weeks.

Stuff like this makes me angry that no matter what I do, I'm still not acceptable to some people, because of what they see on the outside.

Stepping lightly here.......

I have PCOS and so do many other women I know. Years back, I actually belonged to a PCOS support group for a period of time.

I do not deny that PCOS makes it harder to keep the weight off but that can't be an excuse (I'm not saying you are using it as an excuse personally, but it really is used by many who have PCOS).

Life isn't always fair. Some people can eat crap and not gain an ounce and others have to watch every morsel that goes into their mouth. Some have medical conditions that make it harder to keep the weight off and others take medication that makes them gain. We all have our thing. Some have to work harder than others to keep the weight off. But we have to do what we have to do. If we don't, the weight increases and then the PCOS symptoms worsen. Giving up really shouldn't be an option because your overall health depends on it.

 

[luvmy3]

It really shouldn't be about the size of a person and how they got that way. It should be about that person being happy with themselves however they are. That is what a good body image is about.

But the fact is that if a model or actress goes to some extreme to change her body--intentionally, not by gaining weight because she is pregnant or whatever--then she is going to influence a young girl in the wrong way.

I don't disagree with you, that wasn't my point. If you had made the same comment about an overweight actress you'd be flamed, that was my point.

 

[MakiraMarlena]

People in the public eye get stupid e-mails all the time. They get horrible things written about them in comments on the Internet. They get stupid snail mail. They get called names. People can be jerks. So an adult anchorwoman who got a stupid email makes an example of one jerk, I don't get the tie-in that by responding to him she is striking a blow for kids who get bullied. Delete the jerk, move on.

 

[jujube]

This is a link to a comprehensive symptom checklist for Hypothyroidism:
http://www.tpa-uk.org.uk/symptoms_hypot.pdf

 

[luvsJack]

I don't disagree with you, that wasn't my point. If you had made the same comment about an overweight actress you'd be flamed, that was my point.

And you are right! It shouldn't be that way, but it truly is.

 

[SaraJayne]

Stepping lightly here.......

I have PCOS and so do many other women I know. Years back, I actually belonged to a PCOS support group for a period of time.

I do not deny that PCOS makes it harder to keep the weight off but that can't be an excuse (I'm not saying you are using it as an excuse personally, but it really is used by many who have PCOS).

Life isn't always fair. Some people can eat crap and not gain an ounce and others have to watch every morsel that goes into their mouth. Some have medical conditions that make it harder to keep the weight off and others take medication that makes them gain. We all have our thing. Some have to work harder than others to keep the weight off. But we have to do what we have to do. If we don't, the weight increases and then the PCOS symptoms worsen. Giving up really shouldn't be an option because your overall health depends on it.

It isn't an excuse. It's a fact (for me).

 

[Magpie]

I had c sections. Metabolism can be changed through exercise. It's kind of like you have 3 students, one doesn't have to study and makes straight As, one has to glance at their notes and makes As and the third student has to really study and gets As. All are A students but it takes a different amount of effort for each of them to achieve the grade.
If anyone, including new mothers, experience depression, they need to get to their doctor. Back when I had my first 2 children, PPD was not recognized by doctors. Now, it is. There's help and I would encourage seeking it. Depression besides making a person feel sad also has a negative effect on metabolism.
Pregnancy without a doubt causes crazy hormonal changes. In some women the hormonal changes would affect the way they gain/lose weight. Some though have the attitude that because they're pregnant, they can eat whatever and as much as they like.

I agree completely with the bolded above! Except I'd add that some people will never be A students no matter how hard they work. That's probably where the PCOS thing comes in - think of it like a learning disability.

I'm 5'7''. With my first pregnancy, I gained 45 lbs. Lost it all in a year, and an extra ten pounds, while nursing. With my second I gained 55 lbs. Again it melted right off while I nursed. Then in my mid-thirties something shifted, and I slowly began gaining weight. I immediately made changes in how I eat - which happily coincided with my husband's desire to go on a diet. Since then a moderate amount of attention has kept me happily at 135.

So it's easy for me! Weight goes on, weight comes off. Meh.

But my husband struggles every day, and it's hard work for both of us to keep him at a weight that's healthy for him. He's always been clinically overweight, and likely always will be - but at least we can make sure he's not obese! He does eat more than I do, because he's hungry more than I am. He craves foods I don't. So I have incredible sympathy for people who have to fight their weight. I've seen how hard it is! How can you just turn around and tell someone to stop feeling hungry?

I think we all could have more compassion for people who are overweight. Unlike the Keira Knightly example, there isn't a single little girl in the world who looks at an actress or TV personality and thinks, "I need to make sure I eat double portions at dinner tonight, so I can be FAT just like her!"

 

[jujube]

I agree completely with the bolded above! Except I'd add that some people will never be A students no matter how hard they work. That's probably where the PCOS thing comes in.

I'm 5'7''. With my first pregnancy, I gained 45 lbs. Lost it all in a year, and an extra ten pounds, while nursing. With my second I gained 55 lbs. Again it melted right off while I nursed. Then in my mid-thirties something shifted, and I slowly began gaining weight. I immediately made changes in how I eat - which happily coincided with my husband's desire to go on a diet. Since then a moderate amount of attention has kept me happily at 135.

So it's easy for me! Weight goes on, weight comes off. Meh.

But my husband struggles every day, and it's hard work for both of us to keep him at a weight that's healthy for him. He's always been clinically overweight, and likely always will be - but at least we can make sure he's not obese! He does eat more than I do, because he's hungry more than I am. He craves foods I don't. So I have incredible sympathy for people who have to fight their weight. I've seen how hard it is!

I think we all could have more compassion for people who are overweight. Unlike the Keira Knightly example, there isn't a single little girl in the world who looks at an actress or TV personality and thinks, "I need to make sure I eat double portions at dinner tonight, so I can be FAT just like her!"

My husband and one of our sons struggle too. Like my daughter, they have to watch what they eat. Both have found limiting their carbs, especially white bread, pasta and potatoes helps them. I only buy whole wheat bread. Regular potatoes and pastas are only cooked rarely. They have found that eating a baked sweet potato cures their craving for having a regular baked potato. All 3 are at healthy weights but they have to be vigilant.

 

[Kennywife]

Stepping lightly here.......

I have PCOS and so do many other women I know. Years back, I actually belonged to a PCOS support group for a period of time.

I do not deny that PCOS makes it harder to keep the weight off but that can't be an excuse (I'm not saying you are using it as an excuse personally, but it really is used by many who have PCOS).

Life isn't always fair. Some people can eat crap and not gain an ounce and others have to watch every morsel that goes into their mouth. Some have medical conditions that make it harder to keep the weight off and others take medication that makes them gain. We all have our thing. Some have to work harder than others to keep the weight off. But we have to do what we have to do. If we don't, the weight increases and then the PCOS symptoms worsen. Giving up really shouldn't be an option because your overall health depends on it.

I gave up awhile back with mine. I couldn't lose weight and so I didn't care. My seizure meds put weight on me and I've never been able to get it off. I am trying to lose some for the little one I hope to have one day. My PCOS symptoms include:

fatigue, mental fog, brittle nails, menstrual irregularity, moodiness, and weight gain.

I found that I can eat yogurt instead of ice cream. I eat carrots and nuts for snacks. It's small steps, but it's something. It's always nice to hear someone who does understand because there are those out there who just come off with the attitude that if they could do it easily, than everyone else should as well.