When should parents start making their girls wear shirts around the house and yard?

[Magpie]

Wearing just a bathing suit bottom is naked. In some cultures is acceptable, just not this one. Mind you i have no problem with it but in public i adhere to cultural norms.
Back to the op original question if the child can walk then the child needs to be dressed before appearing in public. Internet pictures are public. Far more public than say taking a child in bathing suit bottoms to the grocery store whee only a couple hundred people (at best) will see the child.

I'm assuming you mean a specific subset of South Carolina's culture, no?

Because you don't have to go very far away to find completely different "cultural norms".

I know many people who wouldn't think twice about posting a picture of a young child CLOTHED in a bathing suit bottom. There's nothing to see! Heck, I can go to a public beach or pool in Quebec and see young girl-children attired similarly. (Ontario kids tend to cover up a little more in public, though there are exceptions.)

 

[topolino]

We did not teach our boys about modesty. We have no "nudity" rules in our home except when we have company - and that is out of respect for the company.

Modesty, in this context, is a negative thing, IMO. It effects self image.

I don't agree that it effects self image negatively, in that it reflects societal norms. I think if a young girl goes to a beach for example, she'll see that women's tops are covered more than men's, but that doesn't mean the women on the beach have a negative self image. In many cases it's quite the opposite and women who follow societal norms can still be strong and confident role models.

 

[punkin]

I'm assuming you mean a specific subset of South Carolina's culture, no?

Because you don't have to go very far away to find completely different "cultural norms".

I know many people who wouldn't think twice about posting a picture of a young child CLOTHED in a bathing suit bottom. There's nothing to see! Heck, I can go to a public beach or pool in Quebec and see many young girl-children attired similarly. (Ontario kids tend to cover up a little more in public, though there are exceptions.)

There is an Islamic Center near my house, and the girls there show nothing in public but their faces and hands. I am sure a bathing suit is considered completely immodest in that culture. On the other hand, these girls are probably considered completely immodest by some of their coreligionists because they dare to show their faces when "true modesty" requires the covering of everything but eyes.

 

[goofy!]

Wearing just a bathing suit bottom is naked. In some cultures is acceptable, just not this one. Mind you i have no problem with it but in public i adhere to cultural norms.
Back to the op original question if the child can walk then the child needs to be dressed before appearing in public. Internet pictures are public. Far more public than say taking a child in bathing suit bottoms to the grocery store whee only a couple hundred people (at best) will see the child.

My parents are European, so I grew up going to beaches on both continents. On the European continent, all my female relatives - aunts, cousins, etc all were topless at various points of their beach time.

I didn't have a bathing suit top, just a blue ruffly polka dot bathing suit bottom till I was about 6ish. We have hundreds of pictures of me in those bottoms. At about 6, I started wanting a "real" bathing suit and my parents got me one.

I had no ill effects. I grew up with the proper modesty. I did not go topless after 6 or 7.

I don't see anything wrong with pictures of a 6 year old child splashing in a pool with just bottoms on. It is not naked - there is nothing there to see.

Now, if the parents were taking the daughter to Wal-Mart topless, that would be different. But splashing in a pool or on the beach - totally ok.

Totally ok until the child actually has something to cover up or she herself is asking for a top.

 

[Acklander]

Wearing just a bathing suit bottom is naked.d.

No - wearing a bathing suit bottom is not naked, wearing nothing is naked.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I don't agree that it effects self image negatively, in that it reflects societal norms. I think if a young girl goes to a beach for example, she'll see that women's tops are covered more than men's, but that doesn't mean the women on the beach have a negative self image. In many cases it's quite the opposite and women who follow societal norms can still be strong and confident role models.

It doesn't have to, but it can. A simple example.

We have friends who are very strict about "modesty". Their son has to go into a stall to use the bathroom in a public restroom. He cannot get himself to urinate at a urinal. He is too self-conscious. Most boys raised in homes with less fewer "modesty" requirements do not have this problem.

When we teach our children modesty, we have to understand all of the possible implications.

 

[dngnb8]

Honestly, pedophilia didn't even cross my mind when I posted it. I was more curious about parenting styles and teaching about modesty.

Ok, then I would say, why are we teaching modesty to a 6 y/o

Modesty IMHO has a sexual basis. Not necessary at 6.

 

[topolino]

It doesn't have to, but it can. A simple example.

We have friends who are very strict about "modesty". Their son has to go into a stall to use the bathroom in a public restroom. He cannot get himself to urinate at a urinal. He is too self-conscious. Most boys raised in homes with less fewer "modesty" requirements do not have this problem.

When we teach our children modesty, we have to understand all of the possible implications.

On this we can agree. I suppose it's like so many other aspects of life, where one needs to strike a balance. Teaching modesty in the context of shame instead of in the context of self respect is a bad thing.

 

[ThreeBeans]

I tend to agree.

I think if I were a parent of a girl, by the time she turns six I would've had the modesty conversation with her, to tell her that boys and girls are different and that girls need to cover certain parts that boys don't.

You're childless, correct, and, extrapolating from your post, I'm assuming your male.

Grown, childless men talking about modesty and thus sexualizing little girls is creepy. Extremely creepy. Please stop.

 

[YO's Mom]

As she gets older and more aware of her body she'll want to cover up.

My 6 year old is very aware of her body, and she likes for her body to be naked. I don’t know why, but it is hard to keep her dressed when we are home. When I tell her to put on clothes, she says, “but I like my nakedness.”

 

[Acklander]

My 6 year old is very aware of her body, and she likes for her body to be naked. I don’t know why, but it is hard to keep her dressed when we are home. When I tell her to put on clothes, she says, “but I like my nakedness.”

Perfect!!! It's great that she likes her nakedness. She's already aware that she needs to wear clothes outside the home and as she gets older she'll want to wear clothes around others inside the home as well.

 

[phorsenuf]

You're childless, correct, and, extrapolating from your post, I'm assuming your male.

Grown, childless men talking about modesty and thus sexualizing little girls is creepy. Extremely creepy. Please stop.

Not the poster being referred to, but why would you assume they are childless? Because they said if I had a girl? I could say the same thing because I am a parent of 4 boys.

 

[punkin]

My 6 year old is very aware of her body, and she likes for her body to be naked. I don’t know why, but it is hard to keep her dressed when we are home. When I tell her to put on clothes, she says, “but I like my nakedness.”

So cute.

Believe me, she'll reach an age where she will cover up.

 

[topolino]

You're childless, correct, and, extrapolating from your post, I'm assuming your male.

Grown, childless men talking about modesty and thus sexualizing little girls is creepy. Extremely creepy. Please stop.

I'm sorry you've misjudged the intent of this discussion, but you're so completely off-base that it's probably not even worth explaining it to you.

 

[goofy!]

I don't agree that it effects self image negatively, in that it reflects societal norms. I think if a young girl goes to a beach for example, she'll see that women's tops are covered more than men's, but that doesn't mean the women on the beach have a negative self image. In many cases it's quite the opposite and women who follow societal norms can still be strong and confident role models.

I grew up seeing women topless on beaches as the norm. All my female relatives were my role models and they all went topless. My parents had/have a life size oil painting of a naked woman in their living room (a Modigliani replica.)

I was actually taught that one's body was nothing to be ashamed of. I don't see nudity as bad at all.

And yet, somehow, I did manage to figure out that it is better to have a bathing suit top on because that is the culture here.

 

[Bunnyfeather]

It CAN affect self image. It doesn't have to.

My great grandmother used heaping doses of shame to teach me as a child that I should NOT expose my body in public or private. Funny enough, she was fine with me topless until I was 5, then after that it was the coverage of a one-piece swimsuit at a bare minimum at all times.

My kids, we have taught them about clothing norms just like we taught them to cover their mouths when they sneeze and wait their turn in the grocery store. By the time my kids were 2 they did not go outside naked, though they were little nudists in the home. We wear swimsuits to swim in, soccer clothes for soccer, dress clothes to church and play clothes to play. There is no shame or self-image harm there. We have gradually made the switch to clothes outside their bedrooms instead of outside the house over time.

 

[topolino]

You're childless, correct, and, extrapolating from your post, I'm assuming your male.

Grown, childless men talking about modesty and thus sexualizing little girls is creepy. Extremely creepy. Please stop.

Perfect example of someone trying to stir up controversey where none exists. Perfect example of the paranoia that has swept up parents in North America. Tell me, when you're walking through the mall and a single man walks by who is only there to do some shopping, do you get between him and your kids? I wonder, do you treat people who have a different skin color than your own in a similar fashion?

 

[goofy!]

Perfect!!! It's great that she likes her nakedness. She's already aware that she needs to wear clothes outside the home and as she gets older she'll want to wear clothes around others inside the home as well.

 

[topolino]

You're childless, correct, and, extrapolating from your post, I'm assuming your male.

Grown, childless men talking about modesty and thus sexualizing little girls is creepy. Extremely creepy. Please stop.

Funny, everyone else in this thread has taken this opportunity to have a discussion about modesty and parenting, except you. You've chosen to launch accusations instead. Says a lot about a person.

 

[ThreeBeans]

Perfect example of someone trying to stir up controversey where none exists. Perfect example of the paranoia that has swept up parents in North America. Tell me, when you're walking through the mall and a single man walks by who is only there to do some shopping, do you get between him and your kids? I wonder, do you treat people who have a different skin color than your own in a similar fashion?

I'm married to someone of a different skin color, but nice try.

And yes, if some random creepy man walked up to me and started discussing my five year old daughter's 'modesty', I'd probably deck him with my purse and shriek for the police, because it would be so over the top inappropriate that it would be suggestive that the person was a predator.

Of course, you're so deluded about your creepiness it's probably not worth explaining that to you.

Here's a clue: thinking that a six year old has anything to be modest 'about' says that you're thinking about a six year old girl in terms of sexuality. That's on you, pal. Stop looking at pictures of your friend's little girl without her top on if that's where your brain goes.

ETA: quoting me over and over to make different defensive and weird comments does not make you look any less creepy.