100% agree.
you would be right. we pay for me to go to cornell and my sister to go to yale completely out of pocket. next year, we will also be paying in full for my 2 brothers who will be starting college. oh, and this is my single mother paying for it on her own. yes, i definitely think they should be going somewhere they can actually pay for or if they want to be at a private school, then they should take out loans. college financial aid in the form of grants is ridiculous, but that is a whole other discussion, so if you wish to have it with me, then feel free to send me a PM and we can certainly talk about it (don't want to stray too far off topic).
as for whoever said top schools give merit aid, not the tippy top. ivies do not give merit aid. i believe most of the top 20 does not, however, i have heard of certain cases when they really want people to study in a certain field they will offer some (i'm using my own personal experience. a friend was told he would get a full ride to vanderbilt if he were to lead their hillel group and study something relating to jewish studies). of course, i only really know about the schools i applied to and there are definitely options out there. tulane, for example, gives great merit aid if you apply early enough.