I think I have hit on the crux of it, at least for me. I don't want my 4 DDs growing up with the belief that they don't have to clean their own homes. I don't want them marrying a man who thinks that they have to have someone else do the cleaning in order for them to find some elusive happiness b/c that's what he saw modeled in his own home growing up.
We have to work. That's part of life. Work includes that we do which earns us money and it includes that we do which maintains our space. I also am seeing a trend of possibly over-scheduled kids and people putting too much pressure on themselves to somehow "keep up" causing "stress". I just don't understand how cleaning one's own living space causes "stress". It's part of being human unless one chooses to live in squalor. Cleaning is simply a fact of life.
I grew up in a time where having a cleaning "staff" (I'd call more than 1 a "staff") was something for spoiled, rich people who had "more money than sense". It was for people who were above the rest of us minions who had to clean our own floors and dishes and clothes. It was for people who believed their time was somehow more valuable than the rest of us and didn't have to put in a real day's work. I'm not at all saying that's how it is NOW, but when I was growing up, that was the reality. Everyday, ordinary people cleaned their own homes and NO ONE had a cleaning lady (this was also rebounding from the "housekeepers" of the 40s/50s and desegregation). Cleaning staff = Elitist.
I think many people who come to this board think of it more as a "frugal living" board rather than budgeting what you have, regardless of how much that is. And, I would guess that a lot are in my generation with the same impressions that I mentioned above which is why we are a bit shocked at so many people who hire their houses to be cleaned. I can't do it. I simply cannot hand my hard-earned money over to someone else to do what I can do myself. I can't. Because of that, I've learned to budget my time wisely (and that includes "fun" time for me and DDs) and I can still get my house clean on my own. The OP asked if it was "manageable" and the answer is ABSOLUTELY.
I disagree with pretty much everything you said, except for that part about it being managable, it is. Now, I don't care if anyone has a cleaning lady or not. It isn't my business and I just frankly have other things to worry about but, I knew many people growing up that had a cleaning lady that came in maybe every other week(like I did) or even once a month to do heavy stuff. I didn't grow up rich at all, but very middle class.
We all have things that we can't turn our hard earned money to. I hate to go out to dinner, ever, way to expensive, frankly, my cleaning lady was cheaper that a couple of dinners our for the 5 of us. There are things that people buy here on the dis boards, that I would never dream of. That is ok, we all have different wants. As far as my kids thinking they don't have to clean, I will say it for the 100th time, if you have someone come in and clean every other week, or even once a week, and you have kids. You still have to clean a little and pick up. do you really thing that just because someone comes in and cleans that you don't have to lift a finger?
On the over scheduled thing, it can be true. We are going at least 3 nights now and it will increase to 4 nights in March. My kids aren't over schedules, but we have 3, 1 had 2 things, they go hand in hand , the other 2 have 1 thing but on multiple nights and frankly these nights always seem to collide with each other. So what may seem like over scheduling isn't. My kids love
their activities and it keeps them motivated to get homework done on time and it gives them a sense of responsibility, if they don't show, the rest suffer. So I am teaching my kids time management, and responsibility. Not to mention, even when I did have my cleaning lady, we still picked up, did laundry, wiped down bathrooms, cleaned the kitchen every night, that includes sweeping and or vacuuming the kitchen and eating area. Ok, I think I covered everything. If you don't want or think a cleaning person is a good idea financially fine, but please don't imply that those of us that do are not teaching our kids that they don't have to clean or do anything , you couldn't be farther from the truth.