AFM LADIES.... I'm officially OUT. My doctor gave me the devastating news a few weeks ago that my leaky valves and some left side heart failure would make it very risky for me to proceed with concieving a child and carrying it full term. I could most likely die giving birth or shortly after because of the strain it would put on my heart.
I wish she would of told me this 6 months ago...instead of giving me the green light and letting me spend half my savings on infertility treatments
Oh well....what can i do about it now?? nothing!
So...where are we going to go from here? Back to the adoption option for us. We have been already approved...we registered with an agency a year ago...just in case I couldnt get pregnant. The program is the China Special Needs Program.....we had requested a child with a minor heart defect considering our extensive knowledge in that area. The program is quite fast...problem is coming up with all of the funds for it. But I think if we budget properly we can do it.
BUT...to add insult to injury...... I have 3 step-children who I love dearly....the middle child 14 years old is a 7 year cancer survivor....we found out 2 weeks ago she will be fighting the fight AGAIN. They found a Tumor in her sinus cavity ....the same place the last one was. The outcome looks very grim....since she has maxxed out on her radiation levels and surgery would be a nightmare considering its in her facial tissue. We are simply devastated. The thought of trying to go through this adoption at this time makes my stomach turn... I would not want to take anything away from the serious situation that has come up with my step-daughter. I ahve cried myself to sleep over this the past week . I cannot picture our family without her
So...I am asking myself...why?
Why does life have to be so complicated and why do bad things happen to good people???????