Eeyores Butterfly... Thank you. I could not have explained that better myself. As you know and few others here truly can understand, when you are in a unique profession, when this happens it is a unique experience with a unique pain that no one who was not there that day, or closely associated with it, either in the past or future, is able to understand.
What I would like to do is expound on your explanation by adding some experiences of my own.
Below are some exchanges I've had personally.
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Guest: Can we ride in the front?
Me: I'm sorry, that's an experience we can no longer offer.
Guest: Geez, you guys kill one kid, and ruin it for all of us.
Me: Friend.
Guest: Excuse me?
Me: Friend. He was my friend.
Guest: You don't need to talk like that.
Me: And you don't need to accuse me of killing my friend. Move on down.
Guest: Well, it's true! You killed that kid.
Me: Friend.
Guest: Why are you making such a big deal of this?
Me: I am not, I would rather not talk about this. But since you are so insistent, I am just correcting you. He was not some kid. He was my friend. Please. Move down. Now.
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Guest: Hey, have you ever been in a Monorail Crash?
Me: ... (looking somewhere else, walking off)
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Guest: Hey, how much would I need to pay you to crash another two Monorails?
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Guest: Kill anyone lately?
Me: ... (not acknowledging the question)
Guest: I said, have you killed anyone lately?
Me (slowly looking at him): That's not funny.
Guest: You need to be more careful in your driving.
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Mom and daughter are walking by me as they board the train:
Mom (Excitedly): What are you afraid of, honey? What are you afraid of?
Daughter (almost singing it): Monorail Crash!
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These are just a few of the things I've heard personally. Three of them are from this week.
I have a towel that is very absorbent. On hot days, I used to use it in the front cab... I would take it to a drinking fountain, and while I was waiting in the afternoon to leave the Epcot Monorail station, I would fill up the towel and take it with me as I got in the cab. I would tell the kids to watch out, because it seemed that there was a leak in the front cab, which would get them wondering what they meant. I would watch the parents for any clue that they might not want me dousing their kids... Of course, princesses that were made up at Bippity Boppity Boutique, or kids dressed up were never targeted... As soon as I had the parents in on the act, I would wring the towel out all over the kids, and never had anyone complain, they all loved it. It made for a completely unique experience, because how many other pilots would have done that?
I used to get on the Public Address system and make the Monorail ride its own Jungle Cruise at times.
On July 4, 2009 I was one of the happiest people on the platform. I would go out of my way to make people smile. I had commendation after commendation because of the way I would go above and beyond. I have been told numerous times I needed to go into Guest Relations, because I like making people happy.
My favorite memory is in a back cab on July 4, 2009. It's not something we did often, but I had a Make A Wish child that needed that extra touch. His mom was no longer in the picture, and not by her choice... I believe it was cancer that took her, if I remember right. Their night had not gone well due to certain circumstances, so I wanted to give them an experience they would never forget.
For 20 minutes, we had a wonderful time in the back cab of that train. I have a camera that would be an upgrade for Photopass, and I used to carry it with me. I took several pictures of them just enjoying their time together and of the child sitting in the driver seat, looking like he was driving the train. I then printed and sent those pictures to them, at my cost.
I had gone about getting special permission to do this, and it took a lot of work to make it happen. I had to get clearance from a couple different levels of management, because of what the policies were... but I was willing to do what it took to make that magic.
I tell these stories to show you what kind of person and Cast Member I was on July 4, 2009. I loved pushing the envelope of Guest Service. I still do, but not in the same ways.
On July 5, 2009, I became a completely different person. When I am on the platform, I am in protective mode, because that next person could say something completely terrible. I do not joke around the way I used to, because I have found that that provokes comments... they see a Pilot with a sense of humor and go for the jugular.
I moved across the country to be a Walt Disney World Cast Member, and for part of that time to drive these trains and to make the kind of magic that happened in the front cabs. No one misses it more than I do. You may miss it as much, but no one misses it more than I do.
I still love the Monorails. I still love working with my coworkers. Monorails has, bar none, the best management team that Disney has ever put together... the only way to make it better would be to add back the three most recent Managers to get moved around to other areas.
The only aspect of being a Monorail Pilot that I don't like, and that I even hate, is what I hear from guests about the events of 5, July 2009. You would be amazed at how many people have the non-visible disability of not having a heart.
Take my experiences from the stories I told you above. I promise, they are all true. Now, let's change one aspect of all these stories, let's change the location. The location of each story is now the front cab of a Monorail. How would you expect the Pilot to react?
If they got in with me, and as soon as the train starts moving the questions start, the train may never make it to the next station without being towed there. I know exactly what would happen. I would not answer their questions, so they would become more boisterous and louder and more insistent. I would inform them we were not having this conversation, and they just continue. Finally, I have to stop the train because I cannot safely drive the train with tears in my eyes as they make fun of one of the worst days of my life. And that's assuming they do it with me, as I am known for keeping my emotions in check with these kinds of people. How would you like to be aboard my train that has nothing wrong with it but has to be towed from just outside Epcot to TTC, simply because someone started hounding me and literally drove me into a catatonic state? What if you were put into the situation with a pilot who gets pushed off the deep end, and, God forbid, goes postal? I can't tell you how many times I have had to go backstage immediately after one of these guests just to get away from guests and recover.
When people ask about the incident, I will politely inform them that I am not going to discuss that for a multitude of reasons. When people joke about it and push, it can set my recovery back by weeks and months. And I was certainly not the closest person to Austin out of all of the Monorail Pilots. Still, he was a friend.
When people come to the parks, they often forget that we as Cast Members are people, too, with our emotions and needs. This is good, because I don't want them to be actively concerned for me... that is most certainly not why I am here. But there are things that they don't need to talk about in front of me, or try to talk to me about.
Someone made a reference to Disney not stopping Indiana Jones due to their tragedy or Pirate Tutorial. I would like to believe that because there is a certain character being portrayed and not enough time in Pirate Tutorial and the parades that maybe they are insulated from the comments, and because the Cast of Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular are usually far enough from the audience, people would not normally be tempted to make awful comments. But with Monorail Pilots, we are stuck on a platform with them for at least a couple minutes, and they know that. I've had a guy follow me from one end of the platform to the other as I worked to get away. Those of you in Entertainment, I hope I am not wrong and that you have that one small blessing in these kinds of occurrences.
As much as I miss having guests up front, and as much as I hate not having them up there... as lonely as it gets up in that cab, especially coming back from Epcot and seeing the place on the beam where it happened... at this time I fully support the decision to not allow guests back in the cabs at this time.
My advice? Don't think about the front cabs for now, because I don't think the front cab rides are coming back for a long time, if ever. Enjoy your vacation here, enjoy us... and please, respect and avoid the one or two things that we pray that you don't try to discuss with us.
If enough time goes by without anyone coming up and making comments, it is possible that there may be a turn toward bringing you back into the cabs.
My views and emotions on this issue are very raw and they are my own. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the Walt Disney Company, or any other involved entity.