Chpt 34 - Well, it's lunch time....so you know what that means
After the Backlot Tour....we headed on over to Toy Story Pizza Planet to grab a little lunch. On the way....I decided to split off and head over to the ABC Commissary to grab a cheeseburger to go....because I had sampled Pizza Planets pizzas once before....and had come away unfulfilled. Apparently, Tinkershell shared my sentiment...because she asked me to pick her up a cheeseburger as well. I'd never been to ABC Commissary before.....and generally I hate new things.....but I've got to admit that cheeseburger hit the spot. Pal Mickey didn't order anything...he just said he'd have a bite of mine. Hmmm...I don't remember giving him a bite....must have gotten one from Tinkershell.
After lunch, we snuck across the street to catch the Muppet Vision 3-D show. I think that maybe Tinkershell and DS Buddy were muppets in a previous life....because they cant get enough of those furry buggers. In fact, as soon as the show was finished, they wanted to go again. Im sorry, you must be speaking into my trick ear.....because I could have sworn you just said you wanted to go again. Did you happen to notice any fastpass machines out front? No?....maybe thats because Muppets 3-D isnt exactly one of the big boy attractions. But yes....absolutely...by all means...let's be the one family in the history of WDW that watches Muppets 3-D two times in a row. Apparently, they didn't pick up on my sarcasm.....even though I was laying it on pretty thick...because we went to Muppets 3-D two times in a row. Thankfully, DD Woobie and I have been blessed with a more sophisticated sense of humor....and we were able to entertain ourselves during the second show by making rude noises with our armpits.
Muppets 3-D was like Shangri-La to DS Buddy
After Muppets 3-D part deux.....we headed on over to Lights, Motors, Action. The problem with this attraction is it's located way in the back of the park....so by the time we got there...took our seats...watched the show...and then left... it felt like we had used up a pretty big chunk of the day. Plus, most of the stunts they performed....our kids get to see on a daily basis when mom drives them to school. I'm just kidding, Tinkershell's an excellent driver...definitely an excellent driver. We let her drive slow on the driveway. But not on Monday....definitely not on Monday.
Whatever......Tinkershell has started herself on fire loads of times
Next, we used a dream fastpass to ride Star Tours. "Make way people....we've got dream fastpasses winners here. As always, we ask that you please refrain from flash photography and remember....the videotaping of dream fastpass winners is strictly forbidden." Apparently, nobody told robotic Pee Wee Herman that there were dream fastpass winners on board....because he nearly killed the lot of us with his idiotic driving. Pal Mickey was so scared that his little batteries were chattering.
After a quick snack, we decided to try Sounds Dangerous starring Drew Carey. Even though I had never seen it before....this was the attraction that had replaced Monster Sound Show....and for that reason alone I hated it with every fiber of my being. I have no idea what possessed WDW to eliminate MSS. It featured this cool short film starring Chevy Chase and Martin Short about a door-to-door salesman visiting a spooky old house. First, you watched the film through one time so you could hear all the special effects....and then you watched it a second time with no sound while people selected from the audience tried to re-create the special effects sounds....and then you watched it a third time with the new special effects and everybody laughed at the people from the audience because they had done such a rotten job and were all a bunch of pathetic losers...no offense. Im telling you....it was a hoot.
Instead, we now have Sounds Dangerous....which is an attraction created to celebrate the wonder of stereo sound. Yup, you heard me......stereo sound. "What manner of witchcraft is this, Mr. Carey? Although, I can hear angry bees buzzing around my head....my eyes do not detect them." Why stop with stereo sound? Why don't we build more attractions featuring cutting-edge technology from the early 1900's....like radar.....or the ball point pen? Anyway, the one saving grace for Sounds Dangerous was it had a pretty fun little activity center at the exit. One of the activities you can do is to record your voice over a clip from a Disney film.....and we discovered that DD Woobie can do a spot-on Roger Rabbit.
When we emerged back out onto the street, we were just in time to catch the parade. As usual, Tinkershell and DD Woobie set off in search of the illusive vacant curb spot while DS Buddy and I settled into an open area a little further back. Im not a huge fan of tight spaces.....so participating in an spontaneous game of twister with a bunch of strangers in an attempt to get 6 feet closer to a parade is not my idea of time well spent. So, for those of you keeping score at home, you can add claustrophobia to my growing list of mental conditions. In fact, Im pretty sure that the only one I dont have is megalomania...or delusions of grandeur if you prefer......but that doesn't stop me from knowing with perfect certainty.....that I was placed on this earth to do great things....things that will benefit all of mankind.
We still had our fastpasses for RnR from first thing in the morning.....so we headed off down Sunset Blvd to cash them in. The kids werent really in the mood for shooting through a corkscrew at 60 mph....while being peppered by rock songs they didnt know....sung by a rock band they'd never heard of....so they elected to sit this one out. Normally....I would have tried to shame them into riding by circling around them, flapping my arms and making loud clucking noises....but in the case....Pal Mickey didnt want to go either....and since he had been born with a natural immunity to my chicken taunt....there was really no point.
Since it was going to be just Tinkershell and I on RnR ....that meant we had two extra fastpasses which we could bestow upon some lucky couple. But who should we bestow? That was indeed the question. So we scanned the crowd for possible recipients. We spotted a young newlywed couple off to our left....but they seemed a little too lovey-dovey for my taste...so I gave them the thumbs down. We spotted a second couple that Tinkershell thought had potential...but they struck me as too stylish. I wanted to give the fastpasses to people who weren't afraid to strap on a large fanny pack every now and then....so we moved on. The next couple seemed nice...but I was pretty sure that the guy was the one I'd seen all day long sticking his finger in his nose on all the ride photos...and I just couldn't condone that type of behavior. Finally, I let just let Tinkershell pick....because I couldnt commit.....and the lucky recipients were presented with their out-of-the-blue fastpasses. Hmmmm....out-of-the-blue fastpasses...I kind of like the sound of that. Quick! Get Disney on the phone.....
Somebody shrunk my family
As soon as we exited RnR.....the kids came rushing up and told us that we wouldn't believe what happened to them while we were off cruising around in a stretch limo with Aerosmith. Apparently, they had been sitting on a low wall in front of a bunch of bushes just inside the entrance to RnR....just minding their own business.... when suddenly they were overrun by a sea of little green lizards. From the sounds of it, they were lucky to escape with their lives. Hmmmmm, the whole thing sounded a little embellished to me.....and if there's one thing I hate (besides Sounds Dangerous)..it's when people exaggerate things just for the sake of increasing their entertainment value....so I decided to probe a little further. Upon cross-examination, I was able to get them to admit that there were actually only a couple of lizards.....but they insisted that the lizards had crawled right up next to them.....and that they looked poisonous. Just as I was about make a motion with Judge Tinkershell to be able to treat the kids as hostile witnesses....she informed me that we were late for our ADR. Nuts! I hate being late....so we took off like crazy people in the direction of 50's Prime Time...although I had this feeling we were forgetting something important......very important.
Next up: Chpt 35 - What have we done!