We have a 4 year old princess and this will be her 1st trip to Walt Disney World. Actually it will be the whole families 1st trip. We are trying to pick a hotel for May 2009. We are not really worried about the money factor. Just want to make sure our little one never forgets the trip!
I believe she will remember it, especially if you take video and pictures and watch them together every so often.
For my first visit, I was 9 years old, and I remember sooo much of that trip. I kept a diary each night, so that might have helped. I have a book on travel tips for children, and it says to let young children keep a video or audio diary of a special trip and make "entries" several times per day (a little tape recorder should do the trick). Also, it's a neat idea to share a disposable camera with children, so they can take their own pictures. You might even want to make it a joint project to build a scrapbook together when you get back home.
I took my DD when she was 2 years and 2 months. She will soon be 4 and a half, and she still talks about several things from our trip, most notably Piglet up in a tree from the Pooh playground and flying with Dumbo. (And we have never watched our video or looked at the pictures together. I think she would remember more if we had. We must do that soon!)
We are going again (this time for Christmas), and I chose the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Evie loves animals. When we visited last time, she named all of her favorite animals on the Savannah and got such a kick out of seeing them. She kept saying, "Giraffe, long neck" each time she saw one and let out a little squeal of delight.
We stayed at the Wilderness Lodge for her first trip, and she loved the bridge and the bubbling fountain in the lobby.
I agree that most 4 year olds would love the theming of the value hotels. I would put the WL and AKL on my list, too. And the Grand Floridian, Poly, or CR for the true spirit of Disney. If your daughter enjoys tea parties and dressing up like a princess, then the GF would be perfect!
Hope this helps!