You Might be a Redneck (inspired by the squirrel thread)

[rcraw45425]

This happened a while back but since I see others are battling these little rodents, here goes:

During the hurricanes (you know which ones), our chimney cap was blown off. It became a "round to it" project (chimney is very tall, roof has steep pitch). One night, DH and I were in bed, Scruffy the demon Shih-Tzu was at the foot of the bed in his normal spot. For some reason I woke, must have heard a noise or something. Ever felt like you were being watched?? There was a nightlight in the bedroom, I thought I saw our 5 foot banana tree next to the bed MOVING. I turned the light on low and found myself staring into gleaming little beady eyes. SQUIRREL! Flying squirrel to be exact. I woke DH up, dog was already awake and making those funny rumbling noises in his throat. We procede to chase the squirrel around the bed room trying to run it into a wastebasket with a broom. No luck. DH walks over to the gun cabinet and opens it. Pulls out the pellet rifle, pops the squirrel. Climbs back in bed, looks at me and says "I killed it, you clean it up" and lays down. My reply: "so, squirrel and biscuits for breakfast, right?"

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF YOU'VE EVER SHOT WILD GAME IN YOUR BEDROOM

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

Too funny!!!

 

[rcraw45425]

A few weeks later we had another one in the fireplace, behind the insert. We had to pull the insert out and shoot it too. Funny part was the shot triggered the glass break sensor, set off the burglar alarm. It's going off, dogs barking, monitoring service is calling to see if we need the police. I calmly told them that we just dropped a glass and it set off the alarm. With our luck if I told the truth we'd have SWAT with guns drawn thinking we had an armed gunman in the house! Funny part was one child never woke up at all!

 

[tiggersmom2]

Holy crap lady.......I just knew you were from GA....just like me....

 

[rcraw45425]

I really hate squirrels. We have them now in our attic, can't figure how they're getting in. Go upstairs in the attic ( its' huge, partially floored, partially not) turn off all light, there's not a speck of light anywhere like there's a hole, just where you can see it from the vents under the eaves. We have spent a fortune on Critter Ridder (black pepper based) and mothballs are nauseating. It sounds like a tag team wrestling match up there. It's to the point where my DH, aka Deadeye, has pulled out the .22 rifle, lowers the top part of the window and starts shooting! So far he's shot two of the buggers, seems to have lowered the number we see around the house now! It's hysterical, here's an ER physician with a glazed look in his eye going I'm gonna get that squirrel if it's the last thing I do (insert the Elmer Fudd voice here for a real laugh!)