You can tell alot about a person's character

[delilah]

by how they treat people they don't think are important, for one reason or another. I have a co worker who is saccharine sickly sweet to certain people, but, if you can't do something for her right now, she is totally 180 degrees the other way. A case in point: Tuesday, I was bringing a large box of charts in a beat up box from one office to the other. It was one of those letter size storage boxes, and it had about 40 charts in it. The box was sort of coming apart, and I was needing to juggle it, my brief case and my purse on the way in from the parking lot. I was probably carrying about 50 lbs of stuff, and needing to balance the load to open doors. She was coming out of the office door as I was approaching (I was right outside the door as she flung it open). Instead of observing that I had a heavy load to manage, and maybe keeping the door open a few seconds so I could catch it (didn't expect her to hold it for me), she let it slam shut on me and the box. Oh well, she is the Princess, I guess. I hadn't done anything for her within the past 24 hours, so, it was OK to assault me with the door.

The irony of the situation is that I had to change my work hours to accomodate her, beginning yesterday. We are both physicians, and every doctor gets a day off during the week. (Actually, for complicated reasons, her husband gets two). I needed to change my day off because, supposedly, she couldn't change the day she brought her kids to daycare. The reason I say supposedly is that I used the same daycare at the hospital when my son was little, and they generally bent over backwards to accomodate my needs. They even let me bring him to daycare there when his preschool was out (his preschool was at the same Catholic school he attends now, and preschool was out the same days school is out). Her behavior towards me makes me rethink being so accomodating toward her demands--maybe in a few weeks, I should come up with a sob story that "Thursday just doesn't work for me, because my cleaning lady can't come a different day of the week, my son's orthodontist is closed on Thursday (my new day off), and my hairdresser had Thursday off (all true)." Knowing myself, though, I just couldn't do something like that. I'll just have to do the silent burn.

 

[SC Minnie]

People like that think the world revovles around them. We have several like that here.

 

[HayGan]

People like that think the world revovles around them. We have several like that here.

Too many people in the world think that way. The lack of common courtesy is very evident in today's society

 

[Maleficent13]

The irony of the situation is that I had to change my work hours to accomodate her, beginning yesterday. We are both physicians, and every doctor gets a day off during the week.

Considering you are equals, and, assumedly, at the top of the feeding chain, I am curious who "made" you do this?

 

[RadioFanatic]

is this the same lady who had issues about vacation time? sounds like you guys do too much for her.

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree with Maleficient13 and RadioFanatic. You've posted about problems with this woman before - not flaming you, but WHY do you REPEATEDLY let her call the shots here? It sounds like you need to take a stand and stop being pushed around.

Best of luck!!

 

[agnes!]

My mother is a retired physician(practiced for over 50 years!) and graduated from med school during WWII. Recently a new wing of a hospital she had worked at was named for her. IN HER ACKNOWLEDGEMENT SPEECH, in front of all those dignitaries(including a state senator and a university president) guess who she thanked, besides the obvious?...the people who kept her offices clean and her techs.

Class act, my mom...your co-worker could learn a lesson or two from her, don't you think?

I know you didn't ask for advice, but here it comes...you sound like a nice person, your co-worker sounds like an unhappy jerk. She is to be pitied, but her unpleasantness should not be allowed to rule the entire office. If all you do is your slow burn, your blood pressure will go up and she will get what she wants. I know you are smart - figure out *some* way to get some kind of satisfaction. I think your *should* say that Thursday won't work for you anymore.
Why should you change your life and your family's(your child, your husband, everybody's schedule) life around just to accomodate her, when one of the things she does best is to make others lives so unpleasant?
For myself, speaking as a "good girl", being a good person does *not* mean that we have to allow bullies and jerks to rule our lives, sometimes being "good" means that we have to stand up for ourselves and for others.

Good luck - P&PD to you,
agnes!

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I've always heard that a good way to judge a person, is to watch how they treat waitstaff at a restaurant. I've found it to be pretty dead-on.

 

[delilah]

is this the same lady who had issues about vacation time? sounds like you guys do too much for her.

Yes she is. Interesting update on the situation there is that she is "negotiating" to become salaried also (as I am). The whole change in the day off has to do with the fact that the one doctor who refused to see medicaid patients at all has decided to leave the practice entirely. Doesn't even want to answer calls from medicaid patients. I haven't told many people about it, except my closest friends, who are appalled by the attitude, as I am. This woman also is one who doesn't want to see medicaid patients. Her panel is "restricted", which means that she can't have any new patients added to it, and any she has who leave are not replaced. Actually, my panel is full, as are the other salaried physicians. which means nobody can be added unless somebody else leaves--moves, dies, changes doctor on their own. She shares the attitude that she doesn't want to see or talk to anybody elses medicaid patients, unless she is on call. Yesterday, for example, I saw several of her medicaid patients. I wonder how it would work if we all adopted her attitude.

I had to change my day out of the office because we only have so many nurses and exam rooms available. The doctor who left took over one office where we all saw patients at a different location, which had capacity for two physicians. So, on Thursday, we had too many doctors scheduled to work in our main office, so, somebody had to change their day off.

 

[MAKmom]

I've always heard that a good way to judge a person, is to watch how they treat waitstaff at a restaurant. I've found it to be pretty dead-on.

This is so true! DH & I were at a convention in Vegas with some employee's, I had to have lunch alone with our sales rep...who worked for us. He was awful to our waiter...at the Palm. Next thing I know we have a new waiter. I was dying. So I'm trying to be overly nice. He did not last long with us after that.

 

[delilah]

I agree with Maleficient13 and RadioFanatic. You've posted about problems with this woman before - not flaming you, but WHY do you REPEATEDLY let her call the shots here? It sounds like you need to take a stand and stop being pushed around.

Best of luck!!

I am salaried and she is self-employed. In the opinion of our office manager, who actually hires and fires our staff, their wishes and opinions carry more weight than mine do. But, I may just decide, in a month or so, after spring break (or else, maybe, at the end of the school year) that having Thursday off really won't work. I might even talk to the CEO and CPO at the hospital and tell them about the situation. I've really thought of all kinds of things that I could do, like urgent care. I have a non-compete clause that I wouldn't be able to work within this county for two years if I opened my own practice alone. My husband works as a chemist in the city near where I have my practice. My son has gone to school acrosss from my office since he was three. I have worked in this same practice my entire working life since finishing residency. I just can't leave my patients and uproot my family because I can't stand this woman-child.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

is this the same lady who had issues about vacation time? sounds like you guys do too much for her.

Didn't you rearrange your vacation around her. You really need to stand up for self.

 

[RadioFanatic]

but maybe it is time to start making complaints. It's effecting your life too. Good luck!

 

[DawnCt1]

Delilah, I do understand what you are up against. Your profession sadly has its share of "princesses". I have a friend (female) who is a radiologist who has her share of problems with princesses as well. Sometimes the way the practice is structured, "who knows who", etc, there is little you can do about it. I would definately mention the door thing; "I know you were probably in such a hurry that you didn't see me struggling with a huge box of files or you would have been polite and held the door". Don't let these things go or she will continue to dump on you at every opportunity.

 

[barkley]

i recently made the decision to change orthopedists in large part because of the way the doctor demeaned his staff (never in front of me but you could hear his rants down the hallway), i also overheard him make comments about other doctors and their staff (akin to their requesting a report or loaned out xray back, their staff making a follow up call to rerequest-very unprofessional comments made by the doctor).

i encountered this type of rude behaviour alot in my profession-i happened to look a good 10 years younger than i was and held a supervisory position wherein my peers were largly a minimum of 10 years older than myself. there were many instances when i needed something done that would have normaly been done by one of the clerical support staff members, but if they were busy with another task i would take it on. it amazed me how rude some staff would be when the encountered someone they believed held an "inferior" job to them. it actualy became quite educational for some of them (esp. the types that would hide this behaviour in front of a supervisor or manager) i would just let them go on for a while as i completed my task then turn to them and say "sorry, i don't think we've met-what's your name?" "i'm mrs. x-i supervise x"-the backpaddleing and excuses they would come up with to cover was pathetic.

i openly shared these "encounters" with my fellow supervisors and managers-in some cases the addressing of it resulted in a much happier work environment for everyone concerned.

i strongly believe that everyone has the right to be treated with courtesy, consideration and respect.

 

[Disney Doll]

I also agree with the old adage "Watch how someone treats the waiter". I am not in any position of power within my organization, but if I was, and saw an employee treating osmeone badly, I would certianly call them on it.

 

[Buckalew11]

I know this thread is getting on the topic of your coworker and people bending too much for her but I agree with your original post. I always watch how people treat others to see what they are really like.

 

[agnes!]

Karma...what goes around comes around...

It is true, watch how people treat those that have less power - that observation will tell you almost all you need to know about the content of their character.

agnes!