WWYD - Summer sitter dilemma

[disneyquestions]

Hey everyone, I have a dilemma (is that how you spell it??)... Dh and I both work full time. Right now both of my girls are in school full time, and the grandparents pick them up after school till we get out of work, so they watch them about 2-4 hours a day depending on how much overtime I have to put in.... Right now everything is working fine, but my inlaws have told us that they are not going to be able to do full days in the summer (when there is no school) because its just to much for them. My parents haven't said anything yet, but I know its coming. I totally understand, and really appreciate what they do for us already.

So heres my dilemma - My oldest is able to go to the township summer program which is from 7am-6pm for less than $700 for the entire summer, but my youngest isn't in kindergarten yet, so shes not old enough to go. One of her pre-school teachers just came up to me and said she would like to talk to me about watching them in the summer, but she wouldn't be able to do every day - thats good enough for me.

But my question is - Would you send one child to the summer program, and leave the other child home with a sitter / grandparents (the grandparents may not care about watching every day if its just one kid) or just forget the summer program all together. I think my older DD would really enjoy the program, and in talking to other parents that have sent their kids there, I've heard nothing but good reviews.

So what are your thoughts??

 

[wvjules]

Hey everyone, I have a dilemma (is that how you spell it??)... Dh and I both work full time. Right now both of my girls are in school full time, and the grandparents pick them up after school till we get out of work, so they watch them about 2-4 hours a day depending on how much overtime I have to put in.... Right now everything is working fine, but my inlaws have told us that they are not going to be able to do full days in the summer (when there is no school) because its just to much for them. My parents haven't said anything yet, but I know its coming. I totally understand, and really appreciate what they do for us already.

So heres my dilemma - My oldest is able to go to the township summer program which is from 7am-6pm for less than $700 for the entire summer, but my youngest isn't in kindergarten yet, so shes not old enough to go. One of her pre-school teachers just came up to me and said she would like to talk to me about watching them in the summer, but she wouldn't be able to do every day - thats good enough for me.

But my question is - Would you send one child to the summer program, and leave the other child home with a sitter / grandparents (the grandparents may not care about watching every day if its just one kid) or just forget the summer program all together. I think my older DD would really enjoy the program, and in talking to other parents that have sent their kids there, I've heard nothing but good reviews.

So what are your thoughts??

I would send the older DD to the summer camp. Sometimes older DDs get to do things that the younger ones can't. Nothing wrong with it. Next year they will both be able to go.

 

[allison443]

Just my opinion, but if you think your older dd would like this program, might have friends there, etc. why would you stop her from going just because her sister isn't old enough?

It sounds like you might like both girls to attend eventually, so I wouldn't hold the older one back from starting. When the younger one is old enough, she can go to, just like school, right?

It actually sounds like it would work out better in terms of finding child care, since your younger dd might be able to stay with grandparents, etc.

Of course this is assuming the logistics of dropoff/pickup at two different places are doable!

 

[dislal]

As long as the summer program was safe and I knew my child had some friends I wouldn't hesitate to send her.

With your other DD I would set something up with the preschool teacher and the grandparents.

You didn't say how old your older DD is.

 

[snykymom]

I'd treat each child as an individual, and make my decision based upon each child's needs and abilities.

If your older one is able to go to the program, wants to do it, and you can afford it, send her. Otherwise, she may resent her sister because she's "stuck" with grandparents/babysitters because of her.

If your younger one can't go to the program, sending the older one gives her something to look forward to. And she also gets some one-on-one time with grandparents and the sitter. She'll get to do some things that she can't do when big sister's there because big sister would be bored.

Also, if the older is gone all day, maybe it won't be too much for your parents to look after only one?

(Of course this is easy for me to say, since I only had one child! So take it for what it's worth!)

 

[disneyquestions]

Just my opinion, but if you think your older dd would like this program, might have friends there, etc. why would you stop her from going just because her sister isn't old enough?

It sounds like you might like both girls to attend eventually, so I wouldn't hold the older one back from starting. When the younger one is old enough, she can go to, just like school, right?

It actually sounds like it would work out better in terms of finding child care, since your younger dd might be able to stay with grandparents, etc.

Of course this is assuming the logistics of dropoff/pickup at two different places are doable!

Your right - I'm very protective of my youngest, and I know she would feel hurt and left back if her sister got to go to this program, and she didn't, so thats one reason. Another reason is I'm worried that my oldest wouldn't like it. I talked to her about it for a few minutes today, and her first reaction was "No, I don't want to go." But then when I said that she would be doing fun crafts, and be able to go out on the play yard, she changed her mind right away! LOL And the last reason is the kids that are in the afterschool program durring the school year get first priority, so I don't even know if she will get in - registration isn't till May.

 

[kirstenb1]

do you have anything like a YMCA nearby? Around here they have summer camp from 7 am- 6 pm each day for kids ages 4-12. If it was me, I'd try to find something like that where both kids can go. The older one will be with older kids, and the younger with kids her own age.

It sounds like the grandparents aren't really up to doing full day daycare, so I think you need to line up other options now. Summer camps fill up very fast here.

 

[okeydokey]

Are there any other programs in your area? If the grandparents said it is too much for them, I wouldn't ask them to watch even one kid. Let them know you are looking into summer care. If they don't jump right up to offer their services, consider that a sign they are not interested in parenting your kids all summer.

I say send your oldest to the town program and find another full time program for the youngest. In the future they can both do the same program together.

 

[jrmasm]

Your right - I'm very protective of my youngest, and I know she would feel hurt and left back if her sister got to go to this program, and she didn't, so thats one reason. Another reason is I'm worried that my oldest wouldn't like it. I talked to her about it for a few minutes today, and her first reaction was "No, I don't want to go." But then when I said that she would be doing fun crafts, and be able to go out on the play yard, she changed her mind right away! LOL And the last reason is the kids that are in the afterschool program durring the school year get first priority, so I don't even know if she will get in - registration isn't till May.

There is nothing wrong with children learning that they can't always do everything that their siblings get to do.

I'd scratch that reason.

 

[brockash]

I would send the older DD to the summer camp. Sometimes older DDs get to do things that the younger ones can't. Nothing wrong with it. Next year they will both be able to go.

I agree. I'd be more inclined to have them go to the same place, if the younger one had to go to a new daycare type place (although I guess realistically, the kids probably wouldn't see each other there really either because of the age difference.) Either way, in this circumstance, it sounds like you're very comfortable with whoever (teacher/family) will be watching your preschooler, so I'd absolutely be fine with sending my older one to the summer camp.

 

[disneyquestions]

Are there any other programs in your area? If the grandparents said it is too much for them, I wouldn't ask them to watch even one kid. Let them know you are looking into summer care. If they don't jump right up to offer their services, consider that a sign they are not interested in parenting your kids all summer.

I say send your oldest to the town program and find another full time program for the youngest. In the future they can both do the same program together.

Wow, I don't think I ever asked anyone else to be a parent to my children. Ever.


ETA - I was asking if people thought I should send one child to a camp / program and leave one child with a sitter, or just forget the camp and leave both children with the sitter. Maybe you didn't mean anything by your comment, but sometimes you need to realize that this is all typed conversation, and people need to watch their words.

 

[okeydokey]

Wow, I don't think I ever asked anyone else to be a parent to my children. Ever.

I'm just saying if you really want to see if they are truly interested in full time babysitting for your kids, don't come out and ask them. Tell them you are checking your options. If they jump in and volunteer, then great. If they don't, they may not want to commit to a full time job this summer. Then you'll know if you need to look into other programs in your town.

 

[disneyquestions]

I'm just saying if you really want to see if they are truly interested in full time babysitting for your kids, don't come out and ask them. Tell them you are checking your options. If they jump in and volunteer, then great. If they don't, they may not want to commit to a full time job this summer. Then you'll know if you need to look into other programs in your town.

Thats fine, thats a great way of finding out, in a semi-sneeky, round about way, how they feel... However, it was never a question that was asked. I'm aware of how they feel, and not thinking about giving them a "full time job" as I am looking for fulltime babysitting - its not a questions of anything else. Yes, I did mention that if one child is in the program, they may not care about watching the other one (because its just one kid) - but thats just a thought. And the only reason I had that thought is because I know them, and I know how they are, and the discussions we've had in the past. And just to add, this is two sets of grandparents, so were not talking about 5 days a week at all.

 

[Kellydelly]

Wow, I don't think I ever asked anyone else to be a parent to my children. Ever.


ETA - I was asking if people thought I should send one child to a camp / program and leave one child with a sitter, or just forget the camp and leave both children with the sitter. Maybe you didn't mean anything by your comment, but sometimes you need to realize that this is all typed conversation, and people need to watch their words.

But then you mentioned that the grandparents might not mind watching one child fulltime all summer. I would not expect the grandparents to do it, they already said no.

I would try to keep the kids together, whatever you do, it seems less complicated.

 

[okeydokey]

Thats fine, thats a great way of finding out, in a semi-sneeky, round about way, how they feel... However, it was never a question that was asked. I'm aware of how they feel, and not thinking about giving them a "full time job" as I am looking for fulltime babysitting - its not a questions of anything else. Yes, I did mention that if one child is in the program, they may not care about watching the other one (because its just one kid) - but thats just a thought. And the only reason I had that thought is because I know them, and I know how they are, and the discussions we've had in the past. And just to add, this is two sets of grandparents, so were not talking about 5 days a week at all.

My apologies for misunderstanding. I thought you had stated that they said it was too much for them so you were looking for other programs.

 

[disneyquestions]

My apologies for misunderstanding. I thought you had stated that they said it was too much for them so you were looking for other programs.

Your right, I didn't say everything clearly. And truthfully, we get 10 different stories from them as to what they can do!! One minute they tell us don't worry about it, the next minute they tell us to get help... Its like
But really, I know if we asked them each to alternate doing 1-2 days a week, they would be happy to do it. They would probably be UPSET if we didn't (atleast my inlaws would be) because they really enjoy their time with their grandchildren.

So anyway, sorry for the confusion. Its like... I know what I'm trying to say, but YOU don't because I haven't said everything.....