WWYD- Only take 1 out of the 3 kids-Long

[PoohsFriend1]

Ok, I am going to Orlando in 2 weeks for work, my DH is coming along, we wanted to take the kids dd 11, ds 10, ds 7 along b/c they could play while mom works. Well, due to sports and band commitments the older 2 really can't go. I've talked to them about going and if they want to miss school, extra activities etc., and both have decided they really don't want to miss. Now, the youngest has been just "dying" to return in order to ride Aerosmith. I have faithfully measured him once a week for over a year and a half since our last visit to see if he was finally tall enough. It is all he talks about. I have talked with the older to see how they would feel if he just goes. I have promised something special for the both of them in lieu of the trip, which they are both extremely excited about. My sister just got finished lecturing me about how deep down there will be resentment by the older 2, and what kind of example am I setting by giving the youngest one everything he wants. So now my guilt is compounded!! Any advice?

I have posted before under a different name, but I lost my password and I apparantly had it tied to an old email acct, b/c I can't get my psswd.
Thanks!

 

[Not so Dumbo]

It sounds like the other 2 have already said that they would rather not go than have to miss their activities. They made the decision not to go. If that's the case, I don't think the youngest one going would be a problem. He shouldn't be left behind too, just because his older brothers decided that their extras were more important. I wouldn't feel guilty, as kids get older it's hard to make everything perfectly even.

 

[tammy1210]

If the other two have said they're fine with it, and understand the reasoning is due to their own commitments, I don't see a thing wrong with it. Life is too short to let people make you feel guilty over your own decisions - go, have fun, and get your two oldest something great.

 

[almburr]

we take a couple of the kids at a time when we go somewhere. They all like it that way. Everone get more mom and dadt time. Plus the othere really dont feel like they can leave. They know you will take them somewhere for thier time.

 

[daisyduck123]

You asked "What would you do"? - so I'll tell you what I would do...

I would take the whole family for a vacation. It's only going to get harder to find a convenient time for everybody as the the kids get older. At 10 or 11, I don't let my kids decide on vacation.

But that's just what I would do.

I wish you a great trip, no matter who ends up going!! I'm jealous!

 

[Ilovefozzie]

You asked "What would you do"? - so I'll tell you what I would do...

I would take the whole family for a vacation. It's only going to get harder to find a convenient time for everybody as the the kids get older. At 10 or 11, I don't let my kids decide on vacation.

I have to agree with daisy on this on. They are kids. They don't get to make that decision. You are the parent and the decision maker.

 

[Darcy03231]

If the older two have decided they want to stay home I would just take the youngest one.

 

[DisneyPhD]

If the older two have decided they want to stay home I would just take the youngest one.

What she said.

Who will wacth the older 2? What other things do you plan to do with them?

I hope you have a great trip.

 

[PoohsFriend1]

The thing is, it really wasn't supposed to be our vacation. My middle son has been practicing over an hour a day since the begiinning of school for this band competition, which just happens to be the weekend we would get back. If he misses the entire week before he doesn't get to go to the competition, which of course he has been working toward all year.
My other sister is planning on staying with them at our house, so that is not a problem. My middle son wants a new "custom" baseball mitt, really bad, so he says he would rather have that instead of going on the trip. My DD also has a "special" gift in mind, but wants to think about it a little bit.
We will most likely be taking a family trip later in July/Aug- not sure where, but probably NOT WDW!

 

[jenseib]

I say go for it! I don't think it was your sisters business to say that to you either. I think it is fine that the older two made the decision, since this is not an "official" family vactaion anyways.

 

[PoohsFriend1]

My sister is a LCSW(licensed clinical social worker) who doesn't have any kids, but she is definitely (sp?) an expert on kids

 

[la79al]

So your oldest son wants a baseball mitt, your daughter is thinking about a special gift and your youngest wants to go to DW now that he is finally big enough to ride what he wants. If you take the older two, when they were counting on their other gifts, they will not appreciate DW and be resentful that they aren't going to get their gifts. If you make your youngest stay home, he will be upset that he didn't get what he wanted. So have your son start picking out his mitt, have your daughter decide what she wants and don't forget to kiss your husband and son goodbye as they head to the parks every morning.

 

[jessica52877]

Take the one that wants to go, get the others their "special" gift and enjoy the time alone with the youngest!

 

[jenseib]

My sister is a LCSW(licensed clinical social worker) who doesn't have any kids, but she is definitely (sp?) an expert on kids

I have an aunt like that too!

 

[DisneyPhD]

My sister is a LCSW(licensed clinical social worker) who doesn't have any kids, but she is definitely (sp?) an expert on kids

Well tell her I am one too (MSW) but I do have kids and I say GO!

Fair does not always mean equal.

 

[TheDizMom]

If your older 2 have made this decision on their own then I think you should go with what they want. At 11 and 10 I think they are old enough to understand the situation and old enough to know that when you make a commitment to do something and work hard to that end that following through is important. They get it and seem happy with the plan, so by all means go and have fun and don't feel guilty about it. I would be very proud of them if I were you and of yourselves because it seems to me you are raising 2 kids that understand what is a priority and what isn't. Disney will always be there, but the band competition that your child has been working so hard for won't. Besides it will be a great opportunity for your youngest one to have some parental one on one time, something you can't always do when you have 3 children. As for your sister tell her you get why she is concerned, but she needent be. Tell her your older 2 are old enough to start making some of their own decisions and that when they make a good one as their parents you should support them.

Have fun, and don't forget to bring the older 2 back a little something from Mickey.

 

[dsnymomof4]

OK, I was just thinking about this subject over the weekend. I was thinking that someday I would like to maybe take one child to Disney at a time, maybe for their birthday or a special occasion. I think it would be neat to have one-on-one time at Disney since it's always the 6 of us together all of the time. I think it also depends on how frequently you go to Disney. If this would be your first time, I wouldn't take just one child. If you go often, however, then the older 2 are making an informed decision and this will be special time with your youngest. Maybe you can plan separate trips taking the other two by themselves in the future. Good luck!

 

[bedgraynexl]

It sounds like you have kids with level heads on their shoulders. You gave them their options and they made an informed decision.

We have a similar situation where my DW is going to Orlando for a meeting also, but we opted not to tell the kids since it just wasn't in the budget for all of us to go.

The only other thing I might do is ask once again just to make sure, that way you have double confimation since kids are known to change their minds and gently remind them that after this all decisions are final.

Have fun with your youngest and I am sure the two older kids will have fun with their special requests.

 

[PoohsFriend1]

Thanks, for all of your replies! I have repeatedly asked the older 2, and they keep saying as long as I get my "whatever " - TAKE HIM!

 

[Darcy03231]

I think your oldest two are definitely at an age where they can start making some decisions. Sometimes in life you have to make choices and how will they ever learn if you don't let them make some decisions of their own along the way? Like we tell our kids, "you can't do everything". As long as you have someone you can trust at home to take care of the older two, I would go with the youngest one.