WWYD - Neighbor issue - long

[SetzKitten]

I know what I'm going to do, and Iknow this is sort of "high school", but I'm looking for some alternative ideas.

We have a neighbor who nobody in the neighborhood gets along with. The neighbors are constantly calling the police/town officials about their barking dogs, garbage in their yard, rats, etc. I would say about 9 out of the 12 or so neighbors have had issues with them in the past. Although DH and I don't care for the way they live, our relationship with them is not bad. We are fairly new to the neighborhood and they were very cordial and helpful when we moved in. DH is "neighborly" to them, helping them when they ask, driving them to the dump, and asking for help when we have heavy stuff to lift. You know, just generally being helpful to each other. Now personally, I'm uncomfortable around them and keep my distance as much as I can without being rude. I don't know why I feel this way, they've never done anything to me to deserve it, but it's been there from day 1 and I follow my instincts.

Our friends (also neighbors) want to have a neighborhood party. We discussed having it at my house because I have a fantastic party yard (if I do say so myself. ) I'm more than happy to host it, too. DH and I don't know many of the people in the neighborhood and would like to meet them. Anyway, they don't want to invite my neighbor. They said if they are invited nobody will attend. I believe it. I think if they were invited, they would attend, regardless of the issues in the neighborhood.

I thought about it all night and it really doesn't sit right with me to exclude anyone if the party is truly for the entire neighborhood. I know I wouldn't want to be left out, but I also wouldn't want to hang with people who hated me. (Hate was their word, not mine). So I'm going to tell my friend that if the party is at my house, it's an open invitation for the whole neighborhood. Otherwise, they can move it to the street and they can pick and choose who they want to invite. If it is in the street, it's obvious that the uninvited neighbor will see it. I don't know that that would be any better than having it my house where they may or may not know it's going on. I'm hoping you guys have another solution I haven't thought of. Sometimes I wish I were back at my old house where I had no neighbors to deal with.

 

[MorganLeFey]

I agree with you. Invite everyone or tell them to take it to the street.

 

[Beth76]

Is this house the ONLY house that won't be invited? Or is there a core group of people that get along well? I agree that it's really not ok to exclude only this one family especially since your DH is somewhat friendly with them.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm with you - and actually it's kinda preschool you don't exclude only one child.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What does your DH say about it?

 

[SetzKitten]

Is this house the ONLY house that won't be invited?

Yes.

TMM, DH is going to support me on this.

 

[sammi]

If it were me I would definitely include all the neighbours.... as excluding one family just isn't right and maybe that family wouldn't want to come anyway but still they need to have an invitation. Good luck in whatever decision you make.....it's really a hard world we live in isn't it?

 

[lowie]

ugh, hate to say it but i'd probably just not host the party... i feel for you... we have a split street, there are 2 definate 'groups' of friends and i'm kinda friendly with everyone. we could never have a whole block party.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well, ok, I would probably go ahead, have the party and exclude them based on what you have said about police, trash, rats, run-in's with the neighbors, etc...

I would not associate with people like that, sorry...

Afterall you have to live with the other's in your neighborhood and if you have kids I would rather they are looking out for you esp. since you describe these people as trouble.
You are "new" and I would trust their judgement. I could understand a couple of folks not liking them, but the whole neighborhood? That is a "RED FLAG".

 

[Keli]

You're doing the right thing. Sometimes it all turns out better than it looks like it's going to.

 

[Marseeya]

I agree with your initial thoughts. If it's on your property, then it's on your terms and everyone is included.

 

[Horseshoes]

In a party setting, things may be different, maybe this is what is needed to "break the ice" between all the neighbors.

 

[disneymom3]

I think you should do the plan you are talking about. Everyone is invited to the neighborhood party if it's at your house or they do it elsewhere and invite who they want. No reason to cause trouble between yourselves and these people just because others have problems with them. YOu have to live there and I personally wouldn't want to make it more uncomfortable.

 

[daisyduck123]

If I were you, I would not host it. You are the new famiy on the block, let someone else host it or move it to the street.

In my neighborhood, we have block parties. We post a notice about it on the mailbox at the front of the court . This way, everyone is invited & can decide if they want to come. We have the party at the neighborhood playground, it's kind of in the center of the neighborhood.

 

[koopa]

I'd include them. How about a block party on the street. Around here, they will barricade the street and everyone brings a dish. Had a police and fire truck come by last time. Another neighbor brought maps of all of the developments going on around here. Maybe your neighbors will get a cue to clean up their yard after noticing that a gathering is planned near their property. I made sure I picked up sitcks and cut grass real short once I found out the block party was in front of my house. (I have a nice yard too ) Or you can find out when your neighbors go on vacation and have a secret party.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

After thinking about this some more.....changing my answer.

I would not have it at my house.
If they are saying these people are trouble you might set yourself up for retaliation and no way would I want that on my family.