WWYD: My daughter's college professor is constantly cancelling class

[PastryLover]

I worked in a registrar's office for a number of years.

All offices (financial aid, bursar, registrar, deans, department chairs, etc) had access to student files. We requested that IT add a field for us called M&D - Mommy & Daddy. Each time a parent called in for something their adult child should be handling, we put an X in this field. At registration time, priority was given to those students with no or few Mommy & Daddy Xs, as we felt it was a nice reward for those who took responsibility for themselves & their own education. M&D was reset each semester to allow for personal growth.

One of my coworkers moved across the country and began working in the registrar's office of another school. She called me, laughing, and said, "they do M&D here as well!" (Not under the same name, but the same idea.)

If your daughter is "timid," it is because you have allowed her to be. Let her fight her own battles. She is probably already marked as "that kid" with "that mother" - don't dig the hole any deeper.

 

[DizBelle]

It's been a long time since I was in school - but I went to two very hard schools - Tulane and Stanford both of which cost way more than the tuition you are paying. To me going to class is highly overrated. I skipped way more classes than that professor did. But I graduated Phi Beta Kappa and was the top student in my major. A really good student does not need to have the material spoon fed to them.

If professors and classes are not needed, why don't they make college much cheaper by eliminating them?

 

[cabanafrau]

I worked in a registrar's office for a number of years.

All offices (financial aid, bursar, registrar, deans, department chairs, etc) had access to student files. We requested that IT add a field for us called M&D - Mommy & Daddy. Each time a parent called in for something their adult child should be handling, we put an X in this field. At registration time, priority was given to those students with no or few Mommy & Daddy Xs, as we felt it was a nice reward for those who took responsibility for themselves & their own education. M&D was reset each semester to allow for personal growth.

One of my coworkers moved across the country and began working in the registrar's office of another school. She called me, laughing, and said, "they do M&D here as well!" (Not under the same name, but the same idea.)

If your daughter is "timid," it is because you have allowed her to be. Let her fight her own battles. She is probably already marked as "that kid" with "that mother" - don't dig the hole any deeper.

Makes a great cocktail party anecdote. If students are in fact being penalized for the actions of other people, it may well be discriminatory and legally actionable.

 

[already]

I worked in a registrar's office for a number of years.

All offices (financial aid, bursar, registrar, deans, department chairs, etc) had access to student files. We requested that IT add a field for us called M&D - Mommy & Daddy. Each time a parent called in for something their adult child should be handling, we put an X in this field. At registration time, priority was given to those students with no or few Mommy & Daddy Xs, as we felt it was a nice reward for those who took responsibility for themselves & their own education. M&D was reset each semester to allow for personal growth.

One of my coworkers moved across the country and began working in the registrar's office of another school. She called me, laughing, and said, "they do M&D here as well!" (Not under the same name, but the same idea.)

If your daughter is "timid," it is because you have allowed her to be. Let her fight her own battles. She is probably already marked as "that kid" with "that mother" - don't dig the hole any deeper.

How sad that parents would put their student into that predicament. Especially parents like the OP who call the school behind their student's back.

I agree with the poster that said that she better fess up quickly to the daughter.

Mommy made a call behind her daughter's back and complained about her professor.
Per the OP, the daughter didn't even complain, said this is her complaint.
Her caller ID will quickly identify her as the student's mommy, especially since they are 2,000 miles away. There can't be too many students in this particular class with the OP's area code.

The OP better fess up before the Professor approaches her daughter and blindsides her by saying "I understand you have a problem with my canceling classes. I would like to discuss your concerns with you. My office hours are xyz."

 

[eeyoreandtink]

Way out of line. The kid is an adult, they should handle it. Parents doing this kind of things for kids at an older and older age is why we are graduating adults who cannot function on their own, and more and more of them are going back home to mom and dad. I don't do this kind of hovering for my 6th grader. I will ONLY contact a teacher if DD attempts to handle it in the proper manner and is unsuccessful. So far I haven't had to do that. SHE is responsible for her schoolwork. She is old enough to keep up with what she needs to do when, what she needs to study, and to handle problems that may arise herself. Certainly by 18-19 they should be doing these things on their own, without mom and dad stepping in. My parents would have never DREAMED of contacting a college professor for me, much less calling to report one! They had no clue what classes I was registered for, or who was teaching them.

 

[AKpooh]

I had an English professor that would constantly hand our papers back late yet give us no room when we were late. a bunch of us got together and talked to the dean and it was a mess. the teacher took it to heart but after hearing her excuses of handing things back late we were over it. she eventually moved to another state. I would tell you daughter to voice her concerns and move on.

 

[mamacatnv]

I worked in a registrar's office for a number of years.

All offices (financial aid, bursar, registrar, deans, department chairs, etc) had access to student files. We requested that IT add a field for us called M&D - Mommy & Daddy. Each time a parent called in for something their adult child should be handling, we put an X in this field. At registration time, priority was given to those students with no or few Mommy & Daddy Xs, as we felt it was a nice reward for those who took responsibility for themselves & their own education. M&D was reset each semester to allow for personal growth.

One of my coworkers moved across the country and began working in the registrar's office of another school. She called me, laughing, and said, "they do M&D here as well!" (Not under the same name, but the same idea.)

If your daughter is "timid," it is because you have allowed her to be. Let her fight her own battles. She is probably already marked as "that kid" with "that mother" - don't dig the hole any deeper.

While I understand the reason behind this M&D category, this action is in no way professional or how any institute of higher learning should be reacting to parents or treating their students. Keeping track for statistics or a study is one thing, keeping track to penalize the student is just wrong.
Many kids of helicopter parents cannot prevent their parents behavior and to penalize them for "slights" by their parents, often I would guess unbeknownst to the student, is just wrong. This behavior is juvenile and something I would expect to see at an elementary school, not a college/university.

 

[Callie]

Honestly, as long as she is getting the college credit, they aren't stealing your money. You are paying for the credit. I took quite a few classes in college that were pointless just for the credits. Two dance classes, a drawing class, history of rock and roll. They had nothing to do with my major, and I really didn't learn anything useful.
Your daughter, as long as its not a class that will prepare her for another, is secretly enjoying the cancelled classes. More time to work on other classes, or relax.

 

[Callie]

The tracking app is a bit much. My mom didn't want me to skip classes, since she was the one paying the bills. When I lived at home the first year it was kind of rough because my aunt lived across the street and could keep tabs.

 

[PastryLover]

Makes a great cocktail party anecdote. If students are in fact being penalized for the actions of other people, it may well be discriminatory and legally actionable.

While I understand the reason behind this M&D category, this action is in no way professional or how any institute of higher learning should be reacting to parents or treating their students. Keeping track for statistics or a study is one thing, keeping track to penalize the student is just wrong.
Many kids of helicopter parents cannot prevent their parents behavior and to penalize them for "slights" by their parents, often I would guess unbeknownst to the student, is just wrong. This behavior is juvenile and something I would expect to see at an elementary school, not a college/university.

No, it did not fall under anti-discrimination laws, which we all took very seriously. I assure you that IT would have rejected the request if it did. They could not even allow the "Black Students" mailing list requested by the Black Student Union.

Like it or not, when 40 students request seats in a classroom that accommodates 35, five students aren't getting in. You can't have it be "first come, first serve" because registration dates are staggered by last initial, meaning we'd have a classroom full of kids A-L and M-Z are out of luck. So, we registered at our discretion and chose to reward students who showed personal responsibility.

 

[NewRVLady]

While I understand the reason behind this M&D category, this action is in no way professional or how any institute of higher learning should be reacting to parents or treating their students. Keeping track for statistics or a study is one thing, keeping track to penalize the student is just wrong.
Many kids of helicopter parents cannot prevent their parents behavior and to penalize them for "slights" by their parents, often I would guess unbeknownst to the student, is just wrong. This behavior is juvenile and something I would expect to see at an elementary school, not a college/university.

I totally agree
Not something I would brag about
Poor kids that have no idea what is going on

 

[gwynne]

No, it did not fall under anti-discrimination laws, which we all took very seriously. I assure you that IT would have rejected the request if it did. They could not even allow the "Black Students" mailing list requested by the Black Student Union.

Like it or not, when 40 students request seats in a classroom that accommodates 35, five students aren't getting in. You can't have it be "first come, first serve" because registration dates are staggered by last initial, meaning we'd have a classroom full of kids A-L and M-Z are out of luck. So, we registered at our discretion and chose to reward students who showed personal responsibility.

My goodness, that sounds unkind.
Thankfully many parents understand that it's inappropriate for them to be over involved. Others don't. Maybe one parent has helicopter blades circling (annoying) but others many have more serious problems. Some students may be doing the best they can to work hard and get out of a bad environment.
I would love to see colleges use brief, snippy, businesslike replies to parents who are out of line. Maybe even a prepared script-three or four brief sentences about the law and why the student needs to handle xyz. That would be much kinder than giving students downgrades because their parents don't respect boundaries.

And back to this thread, the student in question has no idea that mom made contact with the school. That's awful to me. It would be even worse if in addition she got demerits from the college behind her back, too.

 

[LisaR]

No, it did not fall under anti-discrimination laws, which we all took very seriously. I assure you that IT would have rejected the request if it did. They could not even allow the "Black Students" mailing list requested by the Black Student Union.

Like it or not, when 40 students request seats in a classroom that accommodates 35, five students aren't getting in. You can't have it be "first come, first serve" because registration dates are staggered by last initial, meaning we'd have a classroom full of kids A-L and M-Z are out of luck. So, we registered at our discretion and chose to reward students who showed personal responsibility.

I truly don't understand this. Registration has never worked like this even back when I was doing it with pen and paper. With the use of computers now, it certainly doesn't work like this. If a class holds 35 students then one by one those seats are filled until 35 people close the class. After that there is a wait list. There isn't some maniacal wizard sitting behind the curtain rubbing his hands together while deciding which students have the privilege of taking the class that semester! Why have registration at all? Why not just allow faculty to choose? The fact that adults would put together a list like that tells me a lot about the school and makes me think the "crazy" parents may not be the problem.

 

[MrsDuck]

What would I have done? Nothing. As long as your DD gets credit for the class and a fair grade. If that doesn't happen, I'd let my DD handle it.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I worked in a registrar's office for a number of years.

All offices (financial aid, bursar, registrar, deans, department chairs, etc) had access to student files. We requested that IT add a field for us called M&D - Mommy & Daddy. Each time a parent called in for something their adult child should be handling, we put an X in this field. At registration time, priority was given to those students with no or few Mommy & Daddy Xs, as we felt it was a nice reward for those who took responsibility for themselves & their own education. M&D was reset each semester to allow for personal growth.

One of my coworkers moved across the country and began working in the registrar's office of another school. She called me, laughing, and said, "they do M&D here as well!" (Not under the same name, but the same idea.)

If your daughter is "timid," it is because you have allowed her to be. Let her fight her own battles. She is probably already marked as "that kid" with "that mother" - don't dig the hole any deeper.

This sounds ridiculous if it's true.

 

[PastryLover]

I truly don't understand this. Registration has never worked like this even back when I was doing it with pen and paper. With the use of computers now, it certainly doesn't work like this. If a class holds 35 students then one by one those seats are filled until 35 people close the class. After that there is a wait list. There isn't some maniacal wizard sitting behind the curtain rubbing his hands together while deciding which students have the privilege of taking the class that semester! Why have registration at all? Why not just allow faculty to choose? The fact that adults would put together a list like that tells me a lot about the school and makes me think the "crazy" parents may not be the problem.

Some courses are in such high demand that students were registering for seats they did not need and then selling their seat in a desirable section or with a favored professor to other students for hundreds of dollars. They would meet, pay, and then drop/add simultaneously. To combat this, those courses required manual registration.

 

[cabanafrau]

No, it did not fall under anti-discrimination laws, which we all took very seriously. I assure you that IT would have rejected the request if it did. They could not even allow the "Black Students" mailing list requested by the Black Student Union.

Like it or not, when 40 students request seats in a classroom that accommodates 35, five students aren't getting in. You can't have it be "first come, first serve" because registration dates are staggered by last initial, meaning we'd have a classroom full of kids A-L and M-Z are out of luck. So, we registered at our discretion and chose to reward students who showed personal responsibility.

Oh, my bad, I totally get your point.

It's reassuring that FERPA protects student's privacy rights as adults by restricting parents from accessing student info without authorization, so it's inherently logical academic entities should use criteria about other people's actions students have no demonstrable knowledge or endorsement of to allocate or deny access to resources. Thank goodness we have the braintrust of the IT dept to steer the ship.

 

[NewRVLady]

Some courses are in such high demand that students were registering for seats they did not need and then selling their seat in a desirable section or with a favored professor to other students for hundreds of dollars. They would meet, pay, and then drop/add simultaneously. To combat this, those courses required manual registration.

WHAT????
Are these plots from some Reality College show?

 

[pryncess527]

Like it or not, when 40 students request seats in a classroom that accommodates 35, five students aren't getting in. You can't have it be "first come, first serve" because registration dates are staggered by last initial, meaning we'd have a classroom full of kids A-L and M-Z are out of luck. So, we registered at our discretion and chose to reward students who showed personal responsibility.

This is the part that's crazy to me-- registration by alphabet? We do it by credit hour, so that those closest to graduation who have the least options for classes register first. IMHO, there are better ways to handle the problem you discuss that human discretion and penalties like you describe. No one could sell their seat, because when they drop a class the seat goes to the waitlist, so they have no control over who gets their seat. You've made me really grateful for the way we handle things . . .

I agree this is an issue for the student, not the parent. If the student is bothered, she should contact the department head, or associate head, or whichever admin handles these issues. I would not assume the department knows. The department SHOULD know, but often we don't until students bring it to our attention. Things have to get pretty bad before students complain about no class -- I've only had it happen to a significant degree twice in ten years.

 

[cabanafrau]

This is the part that's crazy to me-- registration by alphabet? We do it by credit hour, so that those closest to graduation who have the least options for classes register first. IMHO, there are better ways to handle the problem you discuss that human discretion and penalties like you describe. No one could sell their seat, because when they drop a class the seat goes to the waitlist, so they have no control over who gets their seat. You've made me really grateful for the way we handle things . . .

I agree this is an issue for the student, not the parent. If the student is bothered, she should contact the department head, or associate head, or whichever admin handles these issues. I would not assume the department knows. The department SHOULD know, but often we don't until students bring it to our attention. Things have to get pretty bad before students complain about no class -- I've only had it happen to a significant degree twice in ten years.

That's how registration was prioritized back in the day when I was in college, but to be honest I have no idea how it's done today or at the university my DD attends. We do our taxes early, complete the FAFSA on time, make tuition payments and rent payments and that's pretty much the extent of our involvement and my knowledge of the way it works.