WWYD - Graduation party

[Coll0610]

DH, DS and I have been invited to a graduation open house for 7 different boys. That's right - one party, seven graduates. DS knows all the boys from school and band, but they really hang out aside from school and band events.
DH and I know three sets of parents and boys casually (like see them at school functions) and don't know the other four. My question is what do I do about gifts? If it was a party for one of the boys we know, I'd write a check (maybe the $20.13 idea I saw in another thread), but I really don't see writing checks to all 7, and it doesn't seem right to give to the ones I know and not the others. Any ideas?

 

[brymolmom]

I'm no expert but I would think at an event like that - you give gifts to ONLY those kids that you know/feel comfortable giving to.

My friends and I had a very large, joint grad party from college - rented a place at a park and everyone brought food to pass, etc. Everyone had their own families there and only the grad they came to celebrate (and maybe one or two of the close friends who know that family) - received gifts.

I doubt that Aunt Sally who comes to the open house will be giving gifts to all 7...She's only going to know and give to her nephew.

 

[sunshine1178]

DH, DS and I have been invited to a graduation open house for 7 different boys. That's right - one party, seven graduates. DS knows all the boys from school and band, but they really hang out aside from school and band events.
DH and I know three sets of parents and boys casually (like see them at school functions) and don't know the other four. My question is what do I do about gifts? If it was a party for one of the boys we know, I'd write a check (maybe the $20.13 idea I saw in another thread), but I really don't see writing checks to all 7, and it doesn't seem right to give to the ones I know and not the others. Any ideas?

Just give gifts to the ones you know. With that many kids, no one will notice who did and didn't give to each boy. If you're really concerned, give each boy a card (I think they sell multi-packs), and just include checks in the ones you know.

 

[Julia M]

We had a shared graduation party for oldest ds. We did this because our families are close friends and we'd be inviting a lot of the same people.

However each of us had a few people that only knew one grad and there were others who were a close friend of one and an acquaintance to the other

So some people gave a gift to only one kid. Some gave a gift to one and a card to the other.

When you throw that kind of party that's what you expect!

 

[ssawka]

I would write checks for the kids I knew. If you feel like you would like to give something little to the other graduates, you could give a small gift certificate to iTunes or Starbucks or something like that. Maybe $10 or so (or $13 to keep with the $20.13 idea). But, I would not feel obligated to give to the other boys if DS is not real close to them.

I would check with DS however to see how close he is or is not with the other boys. Sometimes parents are just not aware of all the relationships their children have with other kids. I know when I was growing up, I had close friends that my parents never met. Maybe that was just because I grew up in a rural area where friends lived a considerable distance from me.

 

[TheRustyScupper]

1) This can get tacky.
2) Giving gifts to those you know can mean less popular kids get shafted.
3) The polite thing would be to donate TO THE PARTY.
. . . bring beverages
. . . bring a bunch of specialty food
. . . sponsor some party games and supply the prizes
. . . go in with some other parents and share the costs of the above

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I like the idea of giving all of the boys a card and putting a check in the cards for the boys you know, that way you will have celebrated all of them.

 

[writersblock42]

I have been in this situation before at my nephew's graduation party. I gave to my nephew and did not give to the other child who I didn't know that would just be silly. In these situations you give to those that you know. They normally have a box for each child and you just drop your card in the box anyway so nobody else knows who you gave to and didn't give to. There are a few reasons for hosting these joint parties. 1. If every single child had a graduation party nobody could show up to every single party because most kids have mutual friends. 2. They have grown up with each other and want to celebrate with each other. 3. It reduces costs to have joint parties.

 

[MSSANDRA]

i like the idea of giving all of the boys a card and putting a check in the cards for the boys you know, that way you will have celebrated all of them.

this.

 

[shortbun]

I like the idea of giving all of the boys a card and putting a check in the cards for the boys you know, that way you will have celebrated all of them.

This is a great idea! That said, can I really get by with a $20 gift for graduates? Seems the going rate around here is more like $50. We get graduates a nice tool kit and give them a check usually. The people who have talked to us years later about how much they loved and used that tool kit...it's a good gift. Watch Costco and Sams for good prices.

 

[clh2]

I haven't been to a "combined" party - but in no way shape or form would I feel obligated to give a gift to the guests of honor that I do not know.

Now - for the tool-kit idea - my DD wanted purchased one before she headed off to college. She LOVED having it. The other "related" functional item that she used too was a small selection of bunge cords. Again -didn't use either of them often - but she was glad she had them when she needed them.

And -

 

[mbf]

A teacher I know once told me she brings a balloon with an instant lottery ticket or two to each grad party she goes to. You could do the same but put them in a card if you think 7 balloons is too much.

Another idea (that is still cheaper than the 20.13 idea) is $10 gift cards to fast food restaurants (we all know boys love to eat). Subway is always a good choice or Chipotle. Both are places a teenage boy can get a decent sized meal for under $10. Also, cards from the Dollar Store. No one looks at the backs of cards to see how much you paid lol.

There are also some young adult college survival cookbooks that are out there that you can get for a good price. I have noticed that not too many kids even know how to cook the basics anymore.

Rolls of quarters for laundry and vending machines, presented in a cute way, also make great grad gifts for those you don't really know.

If any of them are going to school in a large city, the Non-Tourist Guides are great and run about $7-10 a piece on Amazon. They make a thoughtful gift.

Also, I realize that your whole family was invited to this party so that kind of makes you feel more like you need to bring a gift. However, in both my DD's circle of grad friends, it was pretty much understood that if it was just the kids going to each others parties (not parents) that gifts were not necessary.

 

[jrmasm]

I wouldn't get anything for the kids I didn't know. As I see it, I'm not attending their party, I'm attending the party of the kids I do know.

 

[MineMail]

You could also bring a card for each graduate and privately give the closer friends' gifts at another time, or mail it to them.

Love the lottery ticket idea!

 

[dimimi]

We had a group party last year for our son. There were 5 boys. We would never have known who gave what to whom. Each boy had their own "brag" table set up and a spot for cards. All cards were opened at home.

Wth 5 families organizing the party, we did not need items brought to the party. Where we live, I have never seen party games at a graduation party.

Just give to whomever you would have been invited to an individual party.

 

[MOpGrad2013]

We are having a combined party. The invitations showed a picture of all 3 grads, but we would NEVER expect a gift for either of our sons from the folks who only know the other grad.

I asked my DS19 and DS18 and they were both amazed that people felt that a gift was expected. They had posted a dorm registry, but that was only for grandparents, godparents and immediate family members. A note in their yearbooks and a picture of themselves with the guest was all they thought about as a gift. So, when we were reading a different thread about the "proper" amount of cash/check to put in, they were floored. Don't get me wrong, they could definitely use the money or gift card for their upcoming college dorm and summer orientations.

From our family to everyone, give what you can. A card is wonderful--just saying you are proud of the accomplishments. And if you get a gift or choose money, whatever you think is nice for a birthday gift would be great. I made a basket of bathroom indulgences for one grad (spent $15 on all the items) and another is getting a laundry basket with lint roller, tide to go along with small packages of laundry soaps ($20). DS19 will be in an apartment so we are outfitting the kitchen.

And we also say the party is about the celebrating and we are more excited to have people here to play games and talk and EAT.

..but that's just our "freaky weird" family.

 

[smokeyblue]

Joint grad parties are very common here, but separate invites are usually sent. The grads usally just have their own card box that their guests can put gifts in. I would just give a a cash gift to those you know, and nothing to those you don't. The grads that dont know you won't know, remember or care that they didnt get a gift from you.

 

[Southernmiss]

Attended a joint grad party tonight for our nephew. Probably a hundred people there-- coming and going in and out of the house as there was food inside and outside and most of the seating was outside. They had a box for cards for each of them. No one knew if anyone brought any gifts much less a gift for all three. We dropped our card in the appropriate box and that was it.

 

[irishsharon]

I like the idea of giving all of the boys a card and putting a check in the cards for the boys you know, that way you will have celebrated all of them.

Agree 100%