Would You Tell a Manager About This?

[va32h]

I shop at an Albertson's right around the corner from my house. We pop in there a couple times a week for milk and bread, in addition to our regular grocery shopping.

One of the cashiers is a woman in her 50's or so, who has been working there forever.

Whenever we are in her line, she makes comments to my 2.5 yo daughter like "oh you are just so cute, I'd like to steal you from your mom!" and "don't you want to come home with me?" as well as trying to poke or tickle her, or get dd to come over to her, once she even tried to take her out of my arms.

Dd meanwhile, went from being just shy with this woman, to outright dislike. She will shout "No!" and turn away, or bury her face in my shoulder. I used to try to be polite and say things like "oh she isn't used to new people" or "she's feeling cranky today".

Now though, I just try to avoid the problem by using another register or the self-checkout, or not bringing dd with me. Sometimes we get stuck though.

But in the larger sense, it annoys me that I have to go to all these lengths to keep an obnoxious person away from my kid. Why can't this lady get a hint already? I wonder if she does this to ther kids, and in this day and age, how can anyone think it is funny to try and lure a kid from their parent or even joke about kidnapping.

Would you mention this cashier's behavior to a manager - it is a customer service issue of sorts - or just keep doing my best to avoid her.

 

[Cool-Beans]

It sounds like she's trying to be nice, so I wouldn't complain. ...but that's just me.

 

[Sonya]

I don't know how to answer you, but I will say one of the reasons we started going to another ped. Dr because one of the nurses was just like this. I'm sure there wasn't any malice on her part (I hope!) but as a new mother I just couldn't deal with that anymore. And yes, we put it down to bad customer service.

 

[JerseyJanice]

This is a tough one! I think you should have a word with the manager.

Normally, I am not one for "ratting" on people, but I can see where you might change where you shop to avoid this woman. Odds are good that she's doing the same stuff with other people's kids so she could be causing the store to lose customers. If that's the case, the store manager has a right to know about it.

 

[declansdad]

It sounds like she's trying to be nice, so I wouldn't complain. ...but that's just me.

I agree.

 

[Queen Quinnella]

This wouldn't happend to be an Albertson's in Garland would it? We used to shop at one that had a lady like that. She creeped me out big time!

 

[CheshireVal]

If you're going to say something, why not just tell her? It seems unfair to go over her head to a manager if you haven't let her know how uncomfortable it makes you.

 

[Evil Queen]

Well, due to her age, saying those types of remarks are probably harmless.

But I would be more worried that if someone else said it to your daughter. I know we all teach our kids about strangers, saying (yelling) no to a stranger, to run away, never get in a car, etc. If she thinks it's ok for this lady to say it to her and you say nothing, she may get mixed messages on when she should be worried about when she should fear strangers and when to say no.

But, you don't want to get this lady in trouble with her employer either, if it's harmless. Next time you go alone, can you go through her line, and say you would like to speak to her privately? Maybe you two can bag your groceries together or something (for her to get close enough for you to whisper to her), that it is nothing personal but you have taught your daughter how to react to strangers saying those types of comments and with being touched, and for her to refrain from it. You also would not have to make excuses each time your daughter shows dislike. If she continues then go to the manger.

 

[arminnie]

If you're going to say something, why not just tell her? It seems unfair to go over her head to a manager if you haven't let her know how uncomfortable it makes you.

I agree. If you just want it to stop - say something to her. Going to the manager is only if your intent is to punish her.

 

[va32h]

This wouldn't happend to be an Albertson's in Garland would it? We used to shop at one that had a lady like that. She creeped me out big time!

YES! Oh my gosh, it probably is the same lady!

If you're going to say something, why not just tell her? It seems unfair to go over her head to a manager if you haven't let her know how uncomfortable it makes you.

I guess I feel like I've already tried that with my expression, tone and body language. And certainly dd has made it clear that she is not interested in playing any sort of games with this lady. Besides, the only opportunity I'd have to speak directly to the cashier would be in the store, in front of other customers and employees, and I wouldn't want to embarrass her. A note or phone call to the manager would at least be private.

It sounds like she's trying to be nice, so I wouldn't complain. ...but that's just me.

I do agree that she's probably trying to be nice, or fun, etc. But if you repeatedly made a small child cry, wouldn't you realize that the child didn't think you were nice or fun, etc. Most people would, I think.

I don't want to get her fired, or punished. It just kind of bothers me that I, the customer, have to change my routines and behavior to accommodate an employee's behavior.

 

[Gillian]

It does sound a little creepy, but perhaps she doesn't realize it. Or she tries extra hard to engage your daughter, thinking she can draw her out.

I agree that it would be nicer to mention it to her before saying anything to a manager. If you have another encounter with her, just be honest and ask her please not to talk to your daughter because it upsets her. Many older adults do not understand that kids are taught not to speak to strangers.

I've started to have issues with DS 5 who won't talk to strangers, even when I'm there, because of everything they're taught in school. He's not friendly to anyone anymore, which I guess it good.

 

[Free4Life11]

I wouldn't complain. Sounds like you've solved it by avoiding her register. I'm sure the manager doesn't need another thing to deal with.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Well I just wish cashiers would tell me that my child was not only ugly but that they would never want to take a child like mine home with them.

Sometimes going by some of the threads on this board, "You are damned if you do and damned if you don't." I can't remember how many threads that I have read when people are downright angry because of how the cashier (name anyplace) was rude or not friendly.

If anyone wants to take a child, I am pretty sure that they would not tell the parents beforehand.

 

[Free4Life11]

I don't want to get her fired, or punished. It just kind of bothers me that I, the customer, have to change my routines and behavior to accommodate an employee's behavior.

But you didn't HAVE to, you chose to change your routine. You have many choices: not bring daughter to store, ask her to not talk to daughter, just grin and bear it, etc. And how difficult is it to go a different register?

I'm sorry but so many customers "talk to the manager" about things are really insignificant.

What will the manager do? Tell her to stop being friendly? Then next week someone will complain about the unfriendly, indifferent cashier on #7.

 

[agnes!]

People have no idea of the damage they can do when they make these "innocent" remarks. Our DD when she was a baby?...now I know I'm a proud mom, but strangers would stop us everyday, ALL THE TIME and say things like this woman would say. DD really did look like a Gerber baby - very cute, very photogenic, outgoing It did make me kind of paranoid! I know that DD lost out on some extended family fun because the constant comments at the time really scared me & I felt like myself or DH had to be there to supervise.

Perhaps saying something to her the next time you go to the store by yourself is a good idea. Maybe something along the lines of "Please don't speak to my child the next time I'm in here with her. I'm sure you don't mean anything by it, but you are scaring her."

Hey, your DD cries every time she has to go through this woman's line...I think a little embarassment wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen.

Maybe the 2 folks who have been creeped out by this Albertson's cashier [va32h and Queen Quinnella] could go in together and say something to the cashier ?

If the cashier's behavior does not change, stop by to see the manager, tell him you cannot shop there anymore and tell him why.
If the slightly-creepy behavior does not change, tell your DD that your family will not shop there for a very long time.

agnes!

 

[JerseyJanice]

FWIW, I'm sure this woman means well. Still, she needs to understand that there is such a thing as "going overboard" on how "friendly" her behavior with customers is.

This story reminds me of a similar situation I experienced when my son was a baby.

We had a cafe near our home where we liked to go and eat. It was a small place, and its single waitress was a huge "busybody" toward me and my baby. Every time we went in there, she'd fuss over him and then start in with me about something. His car seat or stroller looked uncomfortable, or I had him dressed too warmly or not warm enough. He looked like he was sick or hungry, etc. It was like visiting an overly eager, too nosy grandparent, and it sapped all the fun out of going there.

So we stopped going there, and even though my son is much older now and the place is still in business, we haven't been back since. I even don't know if she still works there, but it was because of her that we chose to stop patronizing this place.

In this day and age of competitive business, employees need to beware of making customers feel uncomfortable.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I see your POV, OP!

It's repeated behavior with negative feedback from both you and your child. At some point, the cashier should've understood it wasn't wanted attention. Maybe when the child was crying, shouting, "NO" or completely turning away. Those are pretty good cues for someone to catch onto.

It's a hassle as a customer to deal with. She should be able to see how she is received and adjust her commentary. I'd consider talking to the manager about it.

 

[hlbtimes2]

Personally, No I would not say something to the manager. I would be more direct with her. I would tell her your daughter does not talk to strangers and you would prefer her to not encourage it. If it does not stop after that, I would talk to the manager. I know you feel as if you tried to tell her, but some people are just not good at picking up on hints and body language. It needs to be made very clear to them.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Personally, the next time it happens I would nicely tell her that you are not comfortable with her comments or her touching your DD. If she means no harm then she will not do it again and as long as you are nice about it she shouldn't get too defensive.

I would also try to avoid her line--there is a cashier at our local Giant store who I try to avoid because she's always ripping the store and their policies and as a customer I don't need to hear it.

Then if it continues I would go to the manager.

 

[lulugirl]

Personally, the next time it happens I would nicely tell her that you are not comfortable with her comments or her touching your DD. If she means no harm then she will not do it again and as long as you are nice about it she shouldn't get too defensive.

I would also try to avoid her line--there is a cashier at our local Giant store who I try to avoid because she's always ripping the store and their policies and as a customer I don't need to hear it.

Then if it continues I would go to the manager.

This is good advice.