Would you really call these people your friends...?

[MuskratSusie]

Hello everyone.

I come to you all asking for advice right now. I need it more then ever. I'm NOT looking for hugs or anything like that. I just want advice and your input on this. Thanks.


This has been going on for as long as I can remember. Before my hip surgery which was 2 or 3 years ago I used to have FRIENDS who were actually THERE for me. But that seemed to have changed over time since I wasn't at school after my hip surgery. Now I'm in school, going to school like everybody else does. I get there go to my classes, go to lunch try and hang with the "PEOPLE" who once were my actual FRIENDS. I'm in a club and that is cerramics, and you know what? I don't feel connected to ANYBODY. I feel really alone inside. Like, I have nobody to hang around with. I try and talk to my friends, which I wouldn't call them REAL friends. Real friends are the one's who are always there for you when your in need of something or someone. Not to be treated like DIRT. Which is how I really feel. A few days ago, like last week actually, I stayed home from school because I really felt left out. And, you know what? I still do. I have an AIM that I'm almost on everyday, and I have my friends on there and only ONE friend IM's me, but she hardly ever talks to me anymore. Its like this: me: Hey, I was found out how to fix this and that and the other thing. Her: ohhhh... lol cool. --- Thats what she does to me, says to me. And yet, we hardly ever see each other on school campus anymore as it is, because she has "her friends." Now, for ceramics, I have a few people I know but there all doing their own thing. While I'm just sitting there either txting my Dad and talking to him more then anyone else. Nobody seems to know what's going on with me in real at all. I feel like I have nobody to hang out with. I can't even stand it when people cuss, and thats just me. Everyone I know, cusses. I HATE IT. I can't stand it. A few weeks ago, I almost blew up in my friends face because she was like cussing so much. I can only take so much. And just tonight, right here while I'm typing this, I told my friend that I felt ignored and that I was going to get off. She said this: ' ya.. ' and then I said: bye. then she said ' wth? ' (instead of the h with an f) I just don't get it anymore. I have NOBODY. I've been saying this for MONTHS! Don't tell me I have friends, cause I know I don't. Yeah, I may have friends that are online, but thats DIFFERENT. I want a friend that likes what I like, likes to do what I like to do at least, and has same or some differences in style in music, and things. You know what i mean? Maybe you prolly think I'm overreacting, but I'm not. I just wanted to say this and get this off of my chest, its been driving me crazy for days/weeks/months.

Thanks for reading and for the help.​

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

I say look for some new friends.
Maybe someone whos locker is next to yours, strike up a random conversation. Just a friendly hello, thats how i got most of my friends, you try to learn their names, and once youve gotten them down, you tel them hi with their name

"Hi susan"
"Oh hey..whats your name again?"
"Its *insert name here*"
"Oh, well hi "

 

[Tinkerbell424]

Have you tried to make an effort to IM these people or talk to them and carry on a conversation?


If you have, and you still feel alone..try to join a club/group, besides ceramics...to make new friends who share your interests. Maybe also make sure you don't give off an attitude that says "Stay away" because sometimes atleast with me, I've done that and people mentioned it to me earlier... =/

I feel the same way though. It feels like all I have in my life is education and family.

 

[JulielovesDisney]

I understand what you're feeling. I've felt that before, recently actually. I've made friends at college, but I'm only really close with one or two out of the entire "group" of us. The rest, I don't really feel comfortable around them because they are so different from my old friends from high school, and it's really weird. I'm used to having a big group of friends that I feel totally comfortable around. It's an adjustment.

But the only thing I can tell you is to just wait it out. Maybe things will work themselves out with your old friends. In the mean time, try asking some people from your ceramics class to hang out or something. If you meet more people, then you'll find some new, closer friends.

 

[MuskratSusie]

I say look for some new friends.
Maybe someone whos locker is next to yours, strike up a random conversation. Just a friendly hello, thats how i got most of my friends, you try to learn their names, and once youve gotten them down, you tel them hi with their name

"Hi susan"
"Oh hey..whats your name again?"
"Its *insert name here*"
"Oh, well hi "

One problem there, I don't have a locker. And plus, I'm only there for 4 hours anyway. :/ So, thats a disadvantage for me. But, I see what your saying and I get that, thanks for reading what I had to say and for replying to this thread.

 

[Ms.Squeakers]

No problem, thanks for listening.

Yeah, i just think if you strive to make friends.
It may SEEM a bit awkward, but tell people your story.

I know last year, it was hard making new friends.

Show a concern for other people.

"Where is so-and-so?"
"oh theyre sick"
"aww thats too bad"

type thing.

I dunno, care about others, and they may care about you?


25 percent of people have liked you, and will always like you
25 percent of people may like you, but can be persuaded to not like you
25 percent of people may not like you at first, but eventually learn to like you
25 percent of people may not like you, and never like you.

It all depends, on what percentage of those people you put your effort into, to find friends.

 

[MuskratSusie]

Have you tried to make an effort to IM these people or talk to them and carry on a conversation?


If you have, and you still feel alone..try to join a club/group, besides ceramics...to make new friends who share your interests. Maybe also make sure you don't give off an attitude that says "Stay away" because sometimes atleast with me, I've done that and people mentioned it to me earlier... =/

I feel the same way though. It feels like all I have in my life is education and family.

To your first question, yes, I have tried to IM these people, tried to carry on a covo with them and everything. Nothing seems to work.

I don't think i have a bad attitube with anybody, at least to me I don't think so. Maybe I should ask somebody if I do? I don't know.

Yeah, and it does feel that same way to me too. Just feels like education, family, and online friends on here is all I have in my life. Thats what it feels to me.

I understand what you're feeling. I've felt that before, recently actually. I've made friends at college, but I'm only really close with one or two out of the entire "group" of us. The rest, I don't really feel comfortable around them because they are so different from my old friends from high school, and it's really weird. I'm used to having a big group of friends that I feel totally comfortable around. It's an adjustment.

But the only thing I can tell you is to just wait it out. Maybe things will work themselves out with your old friends. In the mean time, try asking some people from your ceramics class to hang out or something. If you meet more people, then you'll find some new, closer friends.

Thanks for the advice you gave me, I'll wait it out and see what happens. I'll try and make new friends if I have to, too. I understand everything you just said. Thanks. I guess, friends do come and go from time to time, am I right?

 

[JulielovesDisney]

To your first question, yes, I have tried to IM these people, tried to carry on a covo with them and everything. Nothing seems to work.

I don't think i have a bad attitube with anybody, at least to me I don't think so. Maybe I should ask somebody if I do? I don't know.

Yeah, and it does feel that same way to me too. Just feels like education, family, and online friends on here is all I have in my life. Thats what it feels to me.



Thanks for the advice you gave me, I'll wait it out and see what happens. I'll try and make new friends if I have to, too. I understand everything you just said. Thanks. I guess, friends do come and go from time to time, am I right?

That statement is so incredibly true! I've been best friends with one girl since 5th grade. Then last year, after a series of circumstances, we aren't as close anymore. And I've had a lot of friends come and go. It's hard, but it's life, ya know? But you will find more friends. That's one good thing about that particular cycle, they may go, but they always come too. Hang in there!

 

[Tinkerbell424]

To your first question, yes, I have tried to IM these people, tried to carry on a covo with them and everything. Nothing seems to work.

I don't think i have a bad attitube with anybody, at least to me I don't think so. Maybe I should ask somebody if I do? I don't know.

Yeah, and it does feel that same way to me too. Just feels like education, family, and online friends on here is all I have in my life. Thats what it feels to me.

Definitely ask someone. Because 2 people told me I always looked angry and really P.O in the hallways, and so they didn't say hi to me because of it. I wasn't angry, and it was just a natural thing. So that might be part of the reason? But if not, you just have to wait until a couple special people come your way.

I feel your pain 100%. I had 3 best friends, and now I don't speak to 2 of them and the other one always seems to blow me off. She doesn't IM me and when I IM her, she gives me the coldest answers EVER and never says goodbye when she signs off. Then at school, she'll act all normal and want to hug me. Ugh..

Maybe in college [I assume your in 11th or 12th grade?] you'll make close friends. I hope you do! It sucks living a life and not having anyone to experience it with, not including family of course.

 

[Babyjustrun]

That happens to me. I used to work with this guy who told me I looked angry everytime he saw me. He greeted me as grumpy, even if I was in a great mood. He was afraid to say or do things around me because he was afraid he'd set me off...

Heh.
And my friend will ask me like 'Why are you so pissed off and avoiding us?'
And I was like sitting in science before it started listening to my ipod...

 

[ThePin Princess]

My advice is

1st - go to your "friends" when your just with them and ask whats up and whatever it is has been going on WAYYY to long

2nd - If you still feel left out then connect with some new people to be your friends, don't be afraid of what might happen if you ask some kids to hang out some time

anyway teen agers are mean, its in our age description haven't you heard

 

[PrincessKally]

I understnad what your going through to some extent, friendship always seems such a up and down subject, especially in the junior high and high school years. Girls can be nasty. I know I've been told that sometimes I appear to be a bit standoff-ish, so just go to school say "hi" to random people in the hallways, talk to the people around you in class, or at lunch or in ceramics, just try to be carefree and easygoing, and I'm not saying that you aren't! Just trying to give all around advice. Being open always seems to pay off in my experiances. The more you bottle it all up the rougher it gets. Trying confronting your old friends, or asking them to hang out this weekend, and if they say No, they aren't really your friends and you can always make new ones. It seems to me you have a great personality so don't let this get you down, its jsut a rough patch!

 

[Tiinkerbelle]

I went my entire high school term without any friends I know how it feels. I was in independent study, and had falling outs with all my old friends because I wasn't around to get all their inside jokes or talks. It drove me crazy but I got through it. You just have to focus on you, and if they're not there for you, their not your real friends so dump them. Try and make new friends, just sit down somewhere and be social, most people cuss so you have to try and put that aside and focus on peoples personalities.
Most high school friendships don't last when college starts I've noticed. From my experience college is MUCH better then middle school/high school, people don't care what you wear or who you're friends with, they're all mature. I love it.
You just have to keep pushing yourself.

 

[Soarin08]

My dear, you need new friends. Friends who actually care about you. I'd ignore those other people.

 

[GoofysOnlyGirl]

Wow this sounds like my 8th grade year of middle school. I HATED it. Basically all my friends just kind of quit talking to me and ignored me. The worst part is they started "bullying" me online. Like they would do the whole chatroom bash thing, then talk about parties right infront of me that I wasn't invited to. I did NOTHING to them. It was weird, and became clinically depressed [I was diagnosed by a docter, and had counsling once a month all through 8th grade year].

Basically what I did was completly seperate myself from those people. I found a few girls I knew from a long time ago and just started eating lunch with them. It was weird at first because they were really tight, but they were very accepting as well and always tried to include me. Which was good for me at the time.

So maybe seperate yourself from the ones you are with now, and meet a new group of friends. Try joining another club, or sport to help you meet people. I joined 2 new clubs this year, and I am already pretty good friends with the people in them. Just keep your head up, and you will find people who will want to hang out with you.

 

[disneychick2721]

I know how you feel, there are so many people I dont talk to anymore.
This one girl I've been good friends with since 3rd grade doesnt talk to me anymore, I try to talk to her but she just doesnt respond...
But honestly, I've learned that if they dont want to talk to me, forget about them.
You need to find real friends, and let go of the fake ones.

 

[Smiley.Socks]

To be honest im kinda going thru the same thing, but maybe not as bad as you. My friends were going to town without asking me to come and stuff, and i know how it can feel. You said your in clubs, so maybe you could try and make conversation with some people there, cuz at least you now ya have something in common. Or maybe try and confront your 'friends'.

i know i wasnt supposed to..

 

[MuskratSusie]

Thanks everyone who posted. I understand what you all are saying...I don't really think anything will help my friends to be more like friends. :/ I've known these people since Grade school. I'm pretty hurt right now, from one of them.

They don't have to be my BEST friend, just someone I can talk to.

and another thing is, that I can't just go out and walk around a lot. Its hard for me to go do stuff. :/