Would you offer to cut a female neighbour's grass?

[RitaZ.]

My problem was the neighbors. They would come out and sit on their porch (wife, husband, kids) and watch me. There would be no sign of them until I cranked up the mower, then it was like -- "Entertainment!". Every time. They all came out to sit and watch. I tried to mow when they weren't home. It was annoying. I'd wave and zone out with the head set.

Our neighbor across the street does this, too. Whenever we are doing work out front, the husband sits on their porch to watch us. When we were having new windows installed, he was watching. When we had the landscaping done, he was watching. New driveway, he was watching. New roof, he was watching. House painted, he was watching. Cleaning out the garage, he comes out to watch. Hurricane clean-up, he was watching. Hurricane preparations, he has to watch. If I wash my car in our driveway, he comes out to watch This has been happening since 1997, when they bought their house.

Years ago, I had a neighbor from the other street knock on my door to ask for permission to look in our trees because their parrot had escaped. Later on, I was telling the neighbor across the street about it and how the other neighbors couldn't see anything in our trees because they were so dense. He then told me that they should have borrowed his binoculars because you can see the smallest details with them. Then, he stopped himself. At that point, I knew that the guy had used his binoculars to get a closer look into my house.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Our neighbor across the street does this, too. Whenever we are doing work out front, the husband sits on their porch to watch us. When we were having new windows installed, he was watching. When we had the landscaping done, he was watching. New driveway, he was watching. New roof, he was watching. House painted, he was watching. Cleaning out the garage, he comes out to watch. Hurricane clean-up, he was watching. Hurricane preparations, he has to watch. If I wash my car in our driveway, he comes out to watch This has been happening since 1997, when they bought their house.

Years ago, I had a neighbor from the other street knock on my door to ask for permission to look in our trees because their parrot had escaped. Later on, I was telling the neighbor across the street about it and how the other neighbors couldn't see anything in our trees because they were so dense. He then told me that they should have borrowed his binoculars because you can see the smallest details with them. Then, he stopped himself. At that point, I knew that the guy has used his binoculars to get a closer look into my house.

I thought my case was strange. You have a creepy neighbor. My drapes would be drawn!

 

[worm761]

I have mowed a lawn exactly one time in my life. I am severely allergic and that one time sent me to the hospital. When I lived on my own a neighbor was kind enough to mow my lawn for me while I was not home. He really was a nice mad. I asked the new neighbors about a lawn service to mow for me. He just did mine when he did his. I never expected someone to mow for me!

 

[RitaZ.]

I thought my case was strange. You have a creepy neighbor. My drapes would be drawn!

They are!

 

[Darsa]

It's funny how so many women have fought so hard for equality with men... and then something like this happens.

I, personally, love to mow my lawn. I plug int he earbuds and hike around my own yard and get really good exercise and SOLITUDE (full house) and it couldn't be better, sweat or no sweat! Now... offering to mow someone else's lawn; absolutely would offer (and have) to someone who needs assistance due to medical reasons or an elderly person. Not someone who's just as able-bodied as I am!

 

[MichelleVW]

I was a single working mom for about 5 years and no one ever offered to cut my yard for me, nor did I care.

Let me tell you what made me mad. I was active duty military at the time and when a husband would get deployed the unit would get together and cut the "poor wife's" grass while the husband was gone. At one point I was single with a broken arm and not one person ever asked if they could help me by mowing my grass....

 

[kaytieeldr]

Did I run around cooking and cleaning for others? No, but I would have if I felt someone had a need. And now, yes I do when there is a need.

Ah, but see - if you'd had us (the DIS members) back then, we would have probably suggested bartering

 

[Serena]

I think it's interesting that she expects help, yet, I haven't heard that she has actually asked for help, or offered to pay for help. And yet, she is perfectly able to do it herself. That part I just don't understand.

When I couldn't cut my grass, I either asked for help or let it go.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I just moved into a house and for the first time I am responsible for maintaining the yard. I am single and rather petite, and part of my front yard has a considerable slope. However, it never occurred to me that somebody should mow my yard for me. Yeah, it's difficult sometimes maneuvering a mower because of the weight/height of the handle, but I do it just fine and am slowly finding my groove. Heck, when my boyfriend loaned me his mower I flat out turned down his offer to mow and did it myself!

I actually mowed today. It's been tough finding time to mow because they only days it hasn't rained I've been working at the theme park (6 days a week, several 12 hour days). It was starting to look like a forest! My father gave me a power mower and brought it up today. By far the hardest part was starting the dang thing! Yeah, it would have been nice if a neighbor had offered to mow since I was having issues finding a good time to do it, but that is asking a lot of somebody. If your house is beyond your capabilities to maintain you either hire somebody to help you or you move into a property that you can maintain.

 

[Ephany]

If DH is home, he cuts the grass or we split it. If DH is gone, I mow. With him being gone so often, I'm sure I've mowed way more grass than he has. I've mowed the lawn 9 months pregnant even, although my next door neighbor was appalled and did help me out until DH was home again on that occasion. The only reason I haven't mowed our lawn lately is b/c our mower's already been moved to the new house so I'm paying the neighbor kid $20 until school starts and then I'll hire a lawn service to take care of it while the house is on the market.

I always mowed the lawn as my chore growing up, and I truly don't mind it. It's good exercise, I like the smell of fresh cut grass, and it's silly to expect my neighbors to do it for free when I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself. The lady in the OP's post needs to suck it up and do it herself or pay someone else to do it. No one owes her anything.

 

[PaulaSue]

That is what you pay teen boys (or girls for). Want the work you should pay for it, not expect it.

 

[Skywalker]

Yeah, just to answer, she is 35 and perfectly able-bodied. She does not want to ask her neighbours, she thinks they should be "chivalrous" and "gentlemanly" and offer.

In her defense, she had no problem doing it herself with a riding mower but the push seems like a bit much.

She lost me with the "men want to do it but the wives are jealous" thing, though.

Though she did tick me off a bit with her attitude, after reading some replies I wonder if she is not just overwhelmed. I know she does not have the money to repair the riding mower ($300) or to pay someone.

She also does not think she should need to ask because as she says, they can all see her struggling. Yeah, entitlement I guess though I do feel a little bad now. (Not so bad that I am going to cut her grass though, lol)

 

[Feralpeg]

Umm if she hates doing it so much why doesn't she give one of the teenagers 10 bucks to do it? If she's mowing the lawn regularly and with minimal issues the neighbors probably don't think twice about it.. I know if I saw one of my neighbors mowing their lawn my first thought wouldn't be "I wonder if they can't mow their lawn themselves.."

Wow! It must be different in your area than mine. No way anyone mows a lawn here for $10...not even kids.

My opinion, for what it is worth, is that you don't expect anyone to do anything for you. If someone should offer to help, that is a wonderful thing. If not, you don't complain about it. If she doesn't want to mow, she needs to make other arrangements.

I mow my own lawn every week. I figure what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. This past week, I thought I was going to die (it was so hot!)...but here I am!

 

[java]

I think it's funny that she thinks so highly of herself. I guess the divorce didn't shatter her opinon of herself.

Maybe the neighbor's have better things to do than spend an hour or two cutting her grass. Like spend time with their families.

Now my DH helps our neighbor snow blow (she is single but about 65) She gets out their with a shovel. And it's a long driveway. She is always grateful and you might mention to your friend that I am the one that suggests he do it.

 

[daisax]

When I was a kid, 10 year old boys (including my brother) mowed the lawns, so I'm sure a grown woman is perfectly capable!

Several posters have mentioned listening to ipods/earphones when mowing. Unless you have noise masking earphones, it's very bad for your ears, since you'll be cranking up the volume to overcome the mower sound. You can be causing permanent hearing loss and won't realize until years from now.

Not worth it, imo.

 

[TinkInPink]

Wow! It must be different in your area than mine. No way anyone mows a lawn here for $10...not even kids.

My opinion, for what it is worth, is that you don't expect anyone to do anything for you. If someone should offer to help, that is a wonderful thing. If not, you don't complain about it. If she doesn't want to mow, she needs to make other arrangements.

I mow my own lawn every week. I figure what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. This past week, I thought I was going to die (it was so hot!)...but here I am!

yeah the going rate around here for teens is about 20. But no one has riding mowers. lol. If they had a riding mower I think they would do lawns around here for 10$ (we have about 1/2 an acre ish) I know that I would sit on my butt for an hour for 10$ lol.

 

[LKHomemail]

i have a co worker who is single and one of her neighbors did her lawn for her. She came to expect this and would often comment to me that she was wondering when the neighbor would get around to doing it if it was getting overgrown. It is now five years later, that neighbor is divorced and has moved. It has now become the obligation of the wife / her daughters to do the lawn for my coworker. It is not likely my coworker is going to move until she dies. I suspect that unless the neighbor moves or dies , they will be stuck with the yardwork. Based on this, I would NEVER offer to yardwork for anyone regardless of the situation. She does not drive either. I offered to drive her home a few times , this stretched to taking her for groceries and the doctor once in awhile. Now she is annoyed that I have moved and it's no longer convenient. I'm glad I didn't have to die to get rid of the expectation / obligation.

 

[MouseLover]

She certainly feels entitled!

DH mows our yard and that is enough for him in this heat. At our former house, DH & neighbor-guy would help each other out. If one of them mowed, he would mow the neighbor's front as well. The weedeating & backyard was on your own!

This lady has the options others already mentioned. 1. pay $$ to fix your riding mower 2. keep push-mowing it yourself -- think of the calories burned!
3. move to an apartment where yard-care is not required 4. pay $$ to somebody to do it for you -- but $10 is not realistic.

Didn't the OP say the yard was 1.5 acres? If you could get anyone to mow that size yard for $50, that would be a bargain.

 

[ctinct]

if he comes over regularly intending to help, why not let it go , so he can do it..??

Because I CAN do it myself...like I said, I now take pleasure in doing all this stuff myself. Besides, I like to have time to just enjoy his company, and if he were mowing, we wouldn't be talking. Maybe when I'm old(er) and gray(er) I'll let him do it more often, but until then I'm good. Besides, there's other stuff he helps me out with occasionally. He took some old furniture to the dump for me last week, and I definitely needed help with that one.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Wow! I'm glad a lot of people on this thread aren't my neighbors!

What you're interpreting is her frustration with the situation. Misinterpreted again. Perhaps make a suggestion to her about hiring kids in the neighborhood. Much better approach.