Would you move far from your grown children?

[PatsGirl]

I would. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you had a multitude of reasons for staying put, other than just being close and available to your children, those would be weighed into the decision as well but it sounds like the move would be a positive all the way around.

I have wanted to move for years and haven't only because DD's father was adamant that I stay within driving distance of his home and he and DD are very close. But...my long term plan is to move to the USVI once DD graduates from high school. Part of my scheme is always budgeting at least two yearly trips home to MA to see my family. And I think I'll have a few visitors myself too

So, my vote is to go! You can always come back if you want or need to but in the meantime you might be staying around for kids that may move themselves.

 

[Tiggeroo]

My dh would not work for my Sis. He is a commercial hvac mechanic. My sis lives near Chicago where there is a good deal work amd the pay is higher. Two years ago dh was at the top of the pay. He is now at am unstable company with no bens and less pay. We had decided if he couldn't find something by may we'd have to move either to Philly or north jersey so he would have a better job. He would line up a job before we went to Chicago so as not to be dependent on my sis. We would keep our place here for a year or two. My worry is that if we hate it dh might face some age discrimination trying to come back.

 

[Disney Doll]

I have no children. I have elderly parents and 1 brother who live in my area. DH has 1 sister and several close aunts and cousins who live in our area.

I would not leave now because I could not leave my elderly parents at the time in their lives when they are starting to need a bit more assistance from me. My brother is good, but I'm the nurse and handle the medical stuff and have a bit more of a flexible work schedule than he does so I can be more available to them.

However, when my parents are gone I'll have no problem moving elsewhere if that's what DH & I decide to do. Siblings, aunts, cousins etc. can be called, facebooked, visited, emailed etc.

Children...well, you never know where kids will end up. My DSisIL has 3 kids and one is in S.Carolina, one is in Indiana, one is in Long Island. DSisIL lives around the corner from me in CT,so the kids are where they are. They keep in close contact via many means.

I think at 50 (I am 48, so getting close!) it's important to start thinking about retirement, what you'll need etc. Your kids will be able to come see you wherever you are....

 

[Imzadi]

Will two years really make that much of an age discrimination? He would have to start now in Philly or N. Jersey, or in two years. Are you putting a lot of significance on the big five oh?

 

[Tinkermommy]

My children are young so I am not facing this yet, so who really knows.

I would move if it put me and my husband in a better financial position. As retirement grows near that would be my number one priority.

Your kids could move, never have children or they could come 10 years from now. You can only make the best decision for you based on what you know right now.

My family moved a lot when I grew up so while there were times I wasn't physically near my grandparents but it didn't change my relationship with them. I was very close to my maternal grandmother and no matter where we lived we kept in touch.

With the technology we have today, you can set up video chats with you children and someday grandchildren if you are not able to physically be there. Emails, texting, phone calls. There are many ways of connecting with people.

Also, the sooner you are financially able to retire, then the sooner your resources and free time can be spent focusing on family.

 

[ilovejack02]

I was thinking the same thing. If it's only for 3 years, do you have to sell your current home? You are in a great area. You could rent out your place, especially in the summers. Or turn it into a bed & breakfast, renting out by the week, depending on how big it is.

By keeping your home, it forces you to have to move back later. Of course, the risk is that you might want to stay where you've moved to, or your kids have moved away, and you would have to come back just to sell the house. But, the housing market may be up in 3 years time.

My parents had to move when I was in 7th grade because the company my dad worked for was closed. , my dad is an older parent so he knew the second I graduated high school they would return to our original home to retire. House was paid off when we made the move.
They rented it to family the entire 6 years we were gone.
Might be something to think about.

 

[Pakey]

Our children are grown and have been out of the house for some time (youngest is almost 30).

We husband and I intend to relocate when I retire.

 

[Nolcrest]

All I can say is my DH & I hated when his parents moved to FL. Sure it was great in the beginning visiting once a year and enjoying the sunshine and them. However, they missed out seeing the grandchildren grow up. They weren't particulary close to them due to the distance and not being a regular part of their lives.

The distance became very difficult as they got older and their health was failing. With DH & I still working w/kids at home it wasn't the easiest getting to them. Towards the end all they used to say was how much they wanted us to visit because they couldn't easily travel any longer. It put alot of guilt on us.

They were wonderful people and I will always wish my children would have had a closer relation with them. I wish I could have had a daily relationship with them as well.

 

[minkydog]

OTH - given my kids ages it's entirely possible that they might find their careers take them away for a bit anyway. And I may find that I stay here and they are gone?

I think that's entirely possible. I always thought I would want to stay near my kids, but now that I'm older and they're older, I can see that isn't necessarily what's going to happen. Already my DS24 has moved to Key West twice and he currently lives in a nearby apartment. But we only see him a couple times a week, at best. Sometimes we go 2-3 weeks with no visit, but it's okay.He's establishing himself and right now his peers are more important than family(although he is quick to run home when he's hungry! )

DH and I moved away from our parents when we were 24. They were heart-broken and it was a long time before they accepted it. But we needed to move to a place where we could make a better living. We have never regretted the decision even though we have gotten a lot of flack from his family (my mom was fine with the move.) I expect my kids could get married and move away like we did.

We are planning to move into our RV in a few years. The plan is to spend time near the kids and time on the road. We'll probably always spend holidays and birthdays near the kids. And in my experience, home is were your Mama is so I imagine they'll drive to where we are sometimes.