Would you let your 4th grader go?

[Planogirl]

I can't believe that someone brought up Natalee Holloway. She was an adult that had the misfortune to run into a serial killer. Someone of that age won't be watched over every second and unfortunately tragedy struck her.

I don't see how that compares to a 4th grader with several chaperones and teachers who won't let her go off by herself. Also, Austin is not Washington DC.

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

go a head, send them all out and when something happens to one of your kids, rem. this conversation.

What? SERIOUSLY?

When I was the same age as Natalie Holloway my parents had died and I lived on my own. There was NO ONE to hover over me and not 'send me out'. Thankfully my parents had set me up to be independent and to know how to keep myself safe. Part of this learning process was to gradually loosen the apron strings a bit and let me make mistakes and learn from them. Going on trips like the one the OP describes was very much part of the process too.

My DD is 9 and I wouldn't even hesitate to let her go on a trip like this. However the fact that the OP's DD has ASD can complicate the problem but I'm sure the teachers are aware of this diagnosis and have experience of dealing with the complications it presents.

Finally I notice that some people are offended by the term 'helicopter parents' and yet there have been several comments about children being the most important things in their lives hence why people are over protective. To me this says 'I obviously love my kid more than you do!' This is just as insulting as the term helicopter parents!!!

 

[mdsoccermom]

Yep and the chaperon's failed. The reason chaperon's are needed is because kids/teens can make bad choices which Natalie did. A chaperon should have stopped her from drinking as she is not of age to drink in the U.S. and should have stopped her from getting in that car. Chaperons are not always on alert like they should be.

Now, back to the child going on this long trip. I have two girls ages 6 and 7, in no way would I even let them go in to D.C. without my me or my husband being on the trip as we know all too well how bad D.C. actually is. I would not trust my kids to anyone there.
I've let my daughter's go on Pumpkin Patch trips with their classes but the trip to D.C. is too long, the fact that they have been forewarned not to follow is nothing more than a red flag, I would not let her go.

Judging from that statement, I am not entirely sure you know anything about DC and what it's like.

I am thankful that my kids' elementary school does field trips into DC (which I do not go on).

 

[mdsoccermom]

It was a week long trip 600 miles away. I think it would take a pretty poor parent not to go if they had the money & could take the time off from work. My kids always come first in my life.

Cool. A "who loves their child more" contest.

 

[Allison]

Cool. A "who loves their child more" contest.

And we know how productive those are.

 

[mdsoccermom]

Beth Holloway made a comment something to be effect "where were the chaperon's?" After all, if they were not going to watch out for the teen's safety, what was there point in being there.

What you are pointing out about chaperon's not being with teens on trips is very disheartening.

Given that Natalie was majorette, I know that they go on lots of trips so I'm confident in saying that she did go on previous trips.

Beth Holloway was a mother who just lost her daughter. Furthermore, it's much easier to blame the chaperones than yourself.

I went on weekend ski trips with my school's ski club in HS and trust me, the chaperones were not with us the entire time. My senior class trip was to Disney (with trips to Wet n' Wild and Sea World) - the chaperones were not with us the entire time. When I graduated, I went on a 2 week trip to France with a teen tour (ages 16-19). The chaperones were not with us the entire time AND we were expected to drink wine. All of the situations were ripe with opportunities to get into trouble. But, no one did on a single trip. And you know something else? No parents went on these trips either. It always astounds me at how hands off parents were when I was growing up compared to today. And I dare any person to imply that we as kids did not come first in our parents' lives.

Natalie Holloway's trip was one trip out of thousands kids take every year in the United States. I really think her example is the exception, not the rule.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

In our district all 5th graders go to 3 nights / 4 days of overnight camp and no parents are allowed to go. The students are supervised by school staff and camp staff.

Why? What do they intend to yearn? That seems like a lot of wasted classroom time.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Judging from that statement, I am not entirely sure you know anything about DC and what it's like.

Having walked up 7th (from the monuments area) after 10pm, I would just like to point out that DC isn't family friendly 24/7. Unless you want to teach your kids about prostitutes and the homeless.

 

[mdsoccermom]

Having walked up 7th (from the monuments area) after 10pm, I would just like to point out that DC isn't family friendly 24/7. Unless you want to teach your kids about prostitutes and the homeless.

I've been in the DC area for 23 years. My husband is in federal law enforcement. We know it well. Of course it's not family friendly 24/7 -no city is. But, to say that a parent would not allow their kids into DC at all on a field trip unless they went along because DC is so violent is silly. Field trips happen every single day in the city without incident.

 

[maddiesmom0116]

No parents are allowed to go if they were not chosen. We have been warned that any parents that take the "it's a free country and I can follow the bus and meet them there attitude" will be asked to leave and risk being arrested. It is a private tour company doing the field trip and the group is being given special access - the cost is $80 a kid /chaperone!

I personally would have a hard time with this as well, but I would let her go with the provision she is in one of the teachers groups. Some parent chaperone's ( not all by any means)have their hands full with their own kid and DD may not be watched as well.

Also.... I am interested on what grounds they would find to arrest you for following them around. I am not saying you should go and do this, actually the opposite, it would be mortifying for your DD. I would just get irritated they threatened this and want to do it to challenge them.

 

[DawnM]

I have a son on the spectrum. He would NOT have done well in 4th grade in this type of situation. Heck, he is 12 and still wouldn't do well! I would NOT have let him go!

My middle son and youngest son I would have had NO PROBLEM letting them go.

So, it depends. You are the mom and you know your child best.

The "we will have you arrested" crap just gets under my skin though.....really? Arrested? On what grounds?

Dawn

 

[FlightlessDuck]

IBut, to say that a parent would not allow their kids into DC at all on a field trip unless they went along because DC is so violent is silly. Field trips happen every single day in the city without incident.

Well, there is that. School trips wouldn't be out walking around that time of night anyway.

 

[SnowWhite607]

You have never met me or my child yet you feel the need to in bold and blue color insult me? Thanks thanks alot- hope it made you feel good.

Dont worry about nickimomof3.

Nickimomof3, you are RUDE and you need to learn how to spell. Its HELICOPTER not -OR

She asked for opinions, not to be called names. Thats why I hesitate to post on this board anymore. It usually ends up in name calling and bashing of some sort.

 

[SnowWhite607]

No, it's not people's business but you invited them to say what they think and give their opinions by posting on a discussion board.

I dont think by asking opinions she invited people to call her names and criticize her parenting style.

 

[SnowWhite607]

OK I did! My DD is away at college this year and I am very proud that she is a capable, strong, intelligent young woman capable of making good choices and watching out for herself. She has flown by herself from a young age, attended camps, competitions, conferences, national seminars,orchestra trips, in different states and even to Italy for up to 3 weeks, and I have never gone on 1 trip. Could something happen to her? of course. Something could also happen to her sitting on her front porch. you can't live in a bubble worrying about what might happen because guess what it might not ever happen (which is much more likely). All you can do is teach them how to make good choices and give them lots and lots of chances to practice this in gradually increasing doses of independence starting when they are young. It doesn't come to them overnight when they turn 18.

Wow, congrats to you! You are a perfect parent who has raised a perfect child in the absolute correct way! Where should I pin your "Parent of the Milennium" medal??

Listen carefully: ALL CHILDREN ARE NOT ALIKE! What works for one doesnt work for all. Just b/c your daughter was gallavanting all over the world alone doesnt mean that it will work for OP's child.

The bolded part I actually agree with. GRADUALLY. Maybe the OP could let her go a few smaller places without her mom - movies with a friend, mall with classmates and their mother....THEN make the big step to a 14 hr field trip. I'm not sure that starting out with the field trip would be considered "gradual".

 

[mdsoccermom]

Wow, congrats to you! You are a perfect parent who has raised a perfect child in the absolute correct way! Where should I pin your "Parent of the Milennium" medal??

Listen carefully: ALL CHILDREN ARE NOT ALIKE! What works for one doesnt work for all. Just b/c your daughter was gallavanting all over the world alone doesnt mean that it will work for OP's child.

The bolded part I actually agree with. GRADUALLY. Maybe the OP could let her go a few smaller places without her mom - movies with a friend, mall with classmates and their mother....THEN make the big step to a 14 hr field trip. I'm not sure that starting out with the field trip would be considered "gradual".

Weren't you just chastising someone for being rude?

And while you are correcting someone's spelling, you may want to check your own. The word is gallivanting, not gallAvanting.

 

[MaumeeMom]

go a head, send them all out and when something happens to one of your kids, rem. this conversation.

Seriously?! Something can happen to kids anywhere, even at home. It almost sounds like you are wishing ill on PPs children just to prove yourself right?!

I am secure in my decisions. We have happy and healthy children and I am fine with my parenting style. Good luck with yours, I truly hope it works for you and your children.

 

[Allison]

I dont think by asking opinions she invited people to call her names and criticize her parenting style.

And I never said she did.

If you post and ask for opinions, you need to be ready to deal with those that differ from yours.

 

[SnowWhite607]

And I never said she did.

If you post and ask for opinions, you need to be ready to deal with those that differ from yours.

But shouldnt mature adults be able to give differing opinions without name calling and criticizing??

A differing opinion would be: No I would not let her go on the field trip OR yes I would let her go on the field trip.

But what we have here is people calling her names (Helicopter parent) and making snide comment (cut the cord). I dont think she should be "ready to deal" with that.

 

[snowy76]

Also.... I am interested on what grounds they would find to arrest you for following them around. I am not saying you should go and do this, actually the opposite, it would be mortifying for your DD. I would just get irritated they threatened this and want to do it to challenge them.

I would imagine trespassing on government property.

The state capitol building likely has fairly heavy security post-9/11, as many public buildings do. So first, you are probably required to have business there to enter (as in, an appointment or designated place to be). Then, if the tour group is getting private access to certain areas, anyone not already cleared to enter could have some serious problems on their hands. You can't just say "I'm Joey's mom" and be allowed in. The school doesn't control security in a state building.

Anyone who has been in a federal building post-9/11 probably has experienced this. I don't know if all states are like this now, but I'd bet larger ones like Texas experience this too.

ETA: I Googled and found out there was a serious security incident in the capitol back in January where the building went on lockdown. So I think we can imagine the security protocols in place now.