Would you let a 20 yo driver drive your kids?

[dislaney]

I'd probably say no as well. I might offer to drive some of the kids myself, but that would depend if I had other plans or not that day. Sometimes being a parent isn't the funnest job!

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I would have to be the bad guy here. I'd either drive them myself or DD couldn't go.

OP, you said 4 hour total with no traffic. Is that one way? Also, think about the ride home...I know when we go to Great America here....I'm EXHAUSTED on the ride home, and my ride is only an hour.

I can't see a 20yo being able to handle all this, and why should he have to? That's a lot of responsiblity resting on his young shoulders.

 

[java]

ah I remember my cousin just getting his license(around 1976) and us all piling into the back of the station wagon- no seatbelts and heading into the city. While our parents drove together in another car. We were following them.
And then we got lost.
We drove to the lower east side of Manhattan via Harlem. It was the most educational trip I have ever taken.

Our parents were FREAKING out by the time we made it to the restaurant.
Point is though we made it.

I am on the fence. Will she be at college next year? She will surely be getting into strange cars then.
*I bet that didn't make you feel better though

 

[shortbun]

OK, here is the story. My DD(17) was invited by her friend to go to Six Flags over Spring Break(just a day trip). There should be 7 people all together, they have a big car. I was OK with that, I was taking girls to Six Flags before(much smaller group) and I would trust another parent drive all the way(4 hours total if no traffic). Yesterday, my DD told me that instead of father, girls brother (19 or 20, not sure) will drive. Now I am in doubts. The road has 70 miles limit and many cars drive even faster. I am afraid that a young boy will be distructed by all the OMGs from 6 girls, I could barely stand it when I drove them and I am not sure how long he is driving and how responsible he is, esp. on the way back, it will be dark. What do you think? Am I unreasonable or make sence. Would you let your child go on such trip? Please, I need some opinions. Thank you.

Sorry to say, NO! Your daughter will be mad at me. A young man is the worst driver on the roads-ask any insurance company. Again, sorry.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

No, I wouldn't let her go.

 

[ilovejack02]

My oldest is 21 and while he has a good driving record and is pretty responsible, there is no way I would let him drive four hours with a bunch of young teenage girls on my watch.

Too many distractions .

 

[KellyNY]

Thank you all for advices, I do not feel like a horrible fun killer anymore. I spoke to my DD and told her that it is final, she is not going with them. I told her I may drive her if I will be available that day, but she is actually OK with not going at all. Interesting twist, I asked her how parents of other 2 girls(her best friends, those I drove in August) feel about it.They did not tell them yet.

 

[Sorsha]

Going to hop down on the OTHER side of the fence on this one... I tend to be a parent who encourages independance in my kiddos, and I am very liberal in my thinking, so take the following with a grain of salt.

As several PPs have posted, in another year or so 17 yr olds will be off to college, and at that point you will have absolutely NO SAY in where they go and with whom. You have to hope at that point that you have given them the morals, intelligence, and strength to make the right decisions.

I can remember being 17-ish, making plans for a random Saturday night, and always having that one friend who always had to run EVERYTHING by her parents, who always had to be in by 11, who was never allowed to do ANYTHING... I always felt bad for her, and when I saw her around town a few years later it was painfully obvious that as soon as she was out from under her parents' wings she went violently in the opposite direction and had had a really ROUGH couple of years. I generally feel that, about the age of 17, parents have to gradually start letting go. I want my children to have the freedom to fail while I can still help them get back up again.

I think I would call the parents of the other kids... make sure they were aware of the arrangements being made. I would ask them how long their son had been driving, and what his record was. i would make sure the car could hold that many kids. If it all checked out, I think I would let her go.

NOW. If it were illegal in my state for a 19-20 yr old to be driving with other teens in the car, then sorry, that's a no-go. Must obey the laws, kiddos. I know in MT, for the first 6 mos you have your driver's license you may only have one teen in the car with you, then for the next year, no more than 2 teens. After that, you can play tour bus driver if you can fit 'em in your car.

Ok, all done writing a book now.

ETA: Sorry, Kelly - I see we posted at the same time. I am glad you made the decision you feel comfortable with.