Would you hold a grudge? kinda long

[ziggystardust]

This happened at the end of October, but it was brought up again today.

My DBF, a friend and I were all hanging out - drinking wine and eating snacks. We ended up going across the street to a friend's house, where 2 of our friends were. During the course of the night we were all drinking more wine and having a fun time. One of the friends was telling us that he had just had plastic surgery- during the course of the conversation he told me I was fat. I'm not fat but I have a huge "fat" complex- a really bad complex. Me being tipsy, I didn't react right away. I infact didn't react until 2 days later when the friend called my DBF to tell him that he thought he might have said something mean to me - and to apologize to me. My DBF told him that he needed to call me and apologize himself. I reacted when my DBF told me about the conversation. I was mad. I still have not received a phone call from this "friend".

Today, "friend" calls up DBF and invites us to an XMAS party that hes having. I don't know if we should go.

Now, I feel like I'm 12 for holding a grudge against this guy. But I know that if we go to this party, it will be like it never happened, and I know that this "friend" will end up saying or doing something like this again. I don't know what to do. Advice welcome...

 

[Feralpeg]

Life is way to short to hold a grudge. Chalk it up to to much wine and have a fun time at the party. Just don't go near the guy if he's drinking!

 

[onecoolmama]

I dont know if I would hold a grudge, and I think I would go to the party. It was one comment.

I have a horrible fat complex too. So, a comment like that would hurt me big time. But, I wouldnt let it ruin a freindship. He felt bad and recognized that he shouldnt have said it.

 

[WIcruizer]

It's all in the details for me. I have friends take shots at me all the time for various resons...sorta a guy thing. Was he half joking? I guess I would have to be there to know the context, and exactly what was said, and how it was said.

 

[ElizK]

Yep, let it go. I understand the whole "fat" complex, as I'm like that, too, but a grudge worthwhile.

 

[RickinNYC]

Unlees this guy has a history of behaving this way, I agree with Feralpeg and chalk it up to the booze and good times.

 

[zalansky]

I would let it go, the only person a grudge hurts is the one who is holding it.
Go and have a good time at the party.

 

[doxdogy]

Let it go and chalk it up to the wine. If he does apologize just accept it gracefully and move on.

 

[Candleshoe]

No nononononono. Don't hold a grudge! Really. Purposely think about other GOOD stuff, especially about this friend so that you don't grudge-up Go to the party and have a good time. But no drinking and driving, ya hear! *smile*

And if you need to at the party go up to him and joke about the incident. BEFORE ya'll drink too much. That should take some of the sting out of it.

 

[disneymom3]

Seems to me that since he said he thought he might have said something mean, there was definitely too much wine involved and I would write it off. Is a druken comment worth your friendship? Very rude of him, for sure, but I would let it go.

 

[jcsbama]

Go to the party and have fun. I know a lot of people, excluding me of course that have said things they didn't mean under the influence of alcohol. I think it was just the booze talking. If y'all start drinking again, tell him it hurt your feelings when you found out what was said the last time y'all partied together. I think the guy really feels bad or he wouldn't have called your BF and he's not sure how to approach it with you.

 

[nativetxn]

Go to the party and eat his food. Preferably the most expensive stuff he has and drink his wine or whatever.

 

[ziggystardust]

This is kind of what I thought. I actually haven't thought about the incident since it happened, so it can't really be bothering me all that much.

He does have a history of saying inappropriate things when drinking and he was being completly serious when he said it but I can't hold a grudge. That would just be stupid. People have cut him off before for these inappropriate comments and actions but this one I can get past. I think I already have.

Thanks, I really appreciate your opinions. I guess I'm going to a XMAS party!

 

[Keli]

You're making the right decision to get past it. Life is just too short and the person you'd really hurt by holding a grudge is yourself.

Have fun at the party!

 

[lil mermaid]

I wouldn't hold a grudge either. The guy showed some remorse and apologized for his comment. Maybe it wasn't the perfect apology that you were looking for, but I would just let it go.

If that is you in the picture, you don't look even close to fat so don't let it upset you!

 

[antmaril]

Life is short - let it go.

 

[macraven]

go to the party, eat his food, drink his booze and then call him fat.......

 

[Beth76]

We all stay stupid things we don't mean when we're drinking. I would try to forget about it and move on.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Go to the party and eat his food. Preferably the most expensive stuff he has and drink his wine or whatever.

You're my kind of woman. You know what they say--don't get mad, get even.

 

[Stitchfans]

By not going to the party the only one you would be hurting is yourself. you will miss out on all the fun. He felt bad and is most likely findng it difficult to say sorry after all this time. Just forget about it and have some fun at the party. Life is too short to worry about silly little comments like that.