Would you have expected your DH to help out in this situation?

[SillyMe]

Ok, I'll rephrase. Why would a woman have a second child with a man like this? Although I'd have to think the writing would be on the wall before she got pregnant...

Anne

That first statement I agree with. You can't necessarily predict what type of father they will be before you have children. My ex was a great father to my oldest dd (who is not his dd by the way). That was one of the things that really attracted me to him. He treated her like she was his own, and treated her well. Then we had our own daughter. Who the heck would've known that he wouldn't spend time with his own daughter?? Surely not me. He went off and did his own thing all the time and left me behind to take care of the girls. We are now separated and he still does not spend enough time with our daughter. I never in a million years would have thought he'd turn out like this...especially considering he wasn't like this with my oldest dd.

 

[MsLeFever]

Ya know, my DH certainly has his jerk moments but when it comes to covering my butt he is always there.

I always order groceries from DS's school fundraiser and EVERY MONTH I forget to pick them up. (Don't know what is wrong with me...) and he get the call and has to drive to the school. At least once he had to raid the kid's piggy banks for the money because I had the check book. And he just shakes his head at me. Come to think of it, next time I'll just tell him the pick up time from the get go!

 

[Bob Slydell]

What a tool

Hell, I would have probably been the one taking the kids for pictures, even by myself, let alone helping out.

 

[ducklite]

That first statement I agree with. You can't necessarily predict what type of father they will be before you have children. My ex was a great father to my oldest dd (who is not his dd by the way). That was one of the things that really attracted me to him. He treated her like she was his own, and treated her well. Then we had our own daughter. Who the heck would've known that he wouldn't spend time with his own daughter?? Surely not me. He went off and did his own thing all the time and left me behind to take care of the girls. We are now separated and he still does not spend enough time with our daughter. I never in a million years would have thought he'd turn out like this...especially considering he wasn't like this with my oldest dd.

But she had three kids...

I would kick his sorry butt to the curb based on teh facts as we know them. One less person to have to do laundry for.

Anne

 

[antmaril]

My husband would have been with me. He would be there out of consideration for me and to help me. I wouldn't have to beg him, he would just do it. If for some reason he wasn't with me, he would have delivered the wallet and then stayed while the photos were being taken.

I would kick that guy to the curb - sorry, but that wouldn't fly with me - EVER. I think it speaks volumes about the guy.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

OP here. Thanks for all the comments. Sent the link to this thread to my friend. Hope she doesn't hate me later. I'd just like her to have a more gentle wake up call than I did.

One thing to mention, she didn't necessarily want her DH with her (not that he volunteered). Last time, he just complained about how long it was taking, about watching the kids while she picked the pictures, etc. It was harder for her having him there than not.

Also, last night he told her that she didn't ask forcefully enough. I guess she said, "Can you bring it, if it's no big deal." To him, it WAS a big deal, so he didn't bring it. He told her to not be so wishy-washy in the future, and he would help her out. He just thought she was indifferent to having the pictures taken. I guess that's why she spent 3 hours getting everything ready before hand - purchasing clothes, ironing them, getting them bathed adn dressed, stocking up the diaper bag, bringing toys, getting the coupons, etc. But, in his mind, because she said "if it's no big deal", she was indifferent.

She told me this morning that he did fully apologize before bed saying he should have brought her the wallet. Unfortunately, he followed that up with the fact that he was aggravated anyway, so at least if he brought it she would owe him.

 

[tiff211]

Dh would have been there wiht me corralling the girls. If he would have pulled some BS like that, I would went home and taken a baseball bat to his "room". He'd have a whole lot more work to do in it when I was done!!!

I don't fault her for forgetting her wallet, not having gas, multiple children really do give you brain damage. I suffer from it myself!!