Would you go?

[jcsbama]

DH has a cousin that got engaged in September and is getting married the Saturday after Thanksgiving. She said she always wanted a November or December wedding. However, she doesn't want to wait a year to get married. She choose the Saturday after Thanksgiving strictly because it was the only time one of her aunts could come up for the wedding. We are struggling with rather to go or not. We are kinda close with his LARGE extended family. However, it's 3 hours away and we already do a lot of traveling during the Thanksgiving holidays. Our family that we see is scattered across the whole dang state. Not to mention my family tradition of shopping with my mom, sisters and nieces.
Other family members are irritated with the timing during the holiday. Not to mention the girls parents that have less than 3 months to plan a wedding. Because she seemed so concern with choosing that date so one particular aunt could come, it's almost like she doesn't care if anyone else comes or not. Should we suck it up and go therefore abandoning our traditions with my family. I think the family would understand if we didn't attend because it is a holiday weekend. But, because we're close, we've always attended any family events, no matter how far away it is. We don't know what to do and we have to RSVP by next week.

Before anyone asks, the bride to be is not pregnant. That has been everyone's first question.

 

[bubie2.5]

Before anyone asks, the bride to be is not pregnant. That has been everyone's first question.

You read mi mind.

 

[mickeyboat]

I would go as long as it is not going to inconvenience you more than interfering with your shopping plans. You would have to travel to the wedding whether it is now or some other time. No matter when she has the wedding, it will interfere with someone's plans - the week someone usually goes on vacation, the weekend before someone's graduation, the week after the baby is due. She is doing the best she can to make sure the people closest to her can attend. Please go if you can.

Denae

 

[kpm76]

I would go as long as it is not going to inconvenience you more than interfering with your shopping plans. You would have to travel to the wedding whether it is now or some other time. No matter when she has the wedding, it will interfere with someone's plans - the week someone usually goes on vacation, the weekend before someone's graduation, the week after the baby is due. She is doing the best she can to make sure the people closest to her can attend. Please go if you can.

Denae

ITA! It's impossible to pick a date that is convenient for everyone and I really don't see anything wrong with trying to accomodate an aunt that the bride feels particularly close to. My brother got married the Sat. after Thanksgiving and it was so nice.....it felt like the Thanksgiving holiday was extended to the wedding celebration and that year we certainly had a lot to be grateful for with a wedding and all the joy that surrounds it. If it's nothing more than an inconvenience for you and your family, I would go.

 

[Poohnatic]

If shopping were the only reason holding you back, shop online on Thanksgiving to get the Black Friday deals (I do every year). As yourself if you'll look back and regret you weren't there to share in their day.

If I were her parents, I'd probably insist that they wait the year if she had her heart set on a wedding during that time of year..

Suzanne

 

[Chattyaholic]

If I were her parents, I'd probably insist that they wait the year if she had her heart set on a wedding during that time of year..

Suzanne

Why would you do that? If she is old enough to get married, she's old enough to choose her own date, along with her husband-to-be. Why do you think you would have the "right" to "insist" they wait?

 

[jcsbama]

We've always tried to support everyone in the family. I think if it was one of the other cousins, we wouldn't think twice about it. This particular cousin that is getting married just graduated high school. She's causes trouble for herself and then expects others to bail her out without any reprimand for what she's done. The guy she is marrying is not even the same guy we met at our last family gathering. We just think she is marrying him so she doesn't have to abide by her parents rules. She complains because she was to work a whole 12-15 hours a week. She's very immature and that scares me that she is suddenly getting married. We'll probably go because it's the "right thing to do". It will just be hard because we already do so much driving that weekend.

 

[Beth76]

If you're close to the cousin and it's only 3 hours away, I would go. Seems like you should be able to have Thanksgiving on Thursday, shopping on Friday, drive to the wedding on Saturday and come back early on Sunday. It shouldn't cut into your regular plans too much.

 

[All American]

What does your husband think about it? It's his cousin. Are they close? If they are, play around with the dates and see if you could work something out. If they aren't super close, I would send my regrets along with a nice card and gift.

 

[vegasnative]

If I could afford to make the trip, then I would go.

 

[Raysplus1]

I would go.

 

[EthansMom]

For me, it would depend upon mine and DH's relationship with the cousin. If relatively close, I would go. If not, I would not attend.

 

[famofsix]

We've always tried to support everyone in the family. I think if it was one of the other cousins, we wouldn't think twice about it. This particular cousin that is getting married just graduated high school. She's causes trouble for herself and then expects others to bail her out without any reprimand for what she's done. The guy she is marrying is not even the same guy we met at our last family gathering. We just think she is marrying him so she doesn't have to abide by her parents rules. She complains because she was to work a whole 12-15 hours a week. She's very immature and that scares me that she is suddenly getting married. We'll probably go because it's the "right thing to do". It will just be hard because we already do so much driving that weekend.

I would go. It's a wedding and she has heart set on the date and the guy then waiting another year won't make a difference anyway. She'd probably choose the same date next year if she waited and you'd be in the same predicament. Go, have fun and be supportive of the blessing of marriage and hope for the best.
If it is possible, have thanksgiving at your house to reduce all the traveling

 

[mickeyfan2]

People please stay away from holidays when planning your wedding!!!!

 

[mom2boys]

I would go to the wedding. A wedding is (or is intended to be) a once in a life-time event. If you skip the wedding you may be percieved as putting your family ahead of DH's. Your family traditions will still be there next year. I imagine they will mean that much more to you next year after missing this year.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm sorry but inconveniencing shopping is a pretty lame excuse for missing a wedding IMO! Do you not see your Mom and sister at any other time of the year. 3 hours isn't very much of a drive either, now if it was 10 I might have more sympathy. Being the family that always has to travel for the Holiday's etc I have lost patience with family members that don't want to slightly alter run of the mill plans to get along when others have traveled 12 - 18 hours to get there (SIL who didn't want to change her Sat. morning shopping plans to have a family breakfast with a brother who had driven 18 hrs and another's son who was home from school! everyone else had no problems changing) sorry that is another rant.

Go or else be prepared to be viewed as petty and selfish when the family gossips get going-especially if it is shopping with YOUR family.

I also like a wedding around any holiday but Christmas it makes traveling easier to combine with going for the holiday.

 

[lulugirl]

If I could afford to make the trip, then I would go.

I would too.

 

[CharmCityGirl]

Given the additional details you provided, I would not attend considering it's a six hour round trip drive on a holiday weekend.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Gotta agree with everyone else here. You can't please everyone. I changed my wedding date 3 times to accomodate various people, some of whom STILL didn't bother to show up I personally would go but you can always send your regrets and a nice gift. It sounds like this marriage may be a difficult and possibly a short one for her. You can consider attending the wedding practice for being supportive

 

[MOMTOMOOTOO]

If you're close to the cousin and it's only 3 hours away, I would go. Seems like you should be able to have Thanksgiving on Thursday, shopping on Friday, drive to the wedding on Saturday and come back early on Sunday. It shouldn't cut into your regular plans too much.

Exactly. I don't see any reason why you wouldn't go. Shopping is hardly an excuse to miss a wedding.