Would you go into debt to make sure your DC graduated HS?

[Tink-aholic]

I attended wrightslaw weekend seminars -- they were very informative. You can also order their books to become familiar with the law. You can apply for a stipend to cover the cost of the seminar. The seminar that I attended had excellent child care.

I don't really know if I would go in to debt or not. I think the PP asked excellent questions regarding the type of h.s. degree that the private school is going to provide and what the h.s. degree will mean in terms of college and work opportunities.

Why does your child need to graduate after 12th grade -- can't he stay an additional year.

I've also had some success with joining a local support group for parents of children with disabilities and managing the public school system.

Is part of the private school's program with psychologists or therapists because you may be able to get insurance to pay part of it.

How many years does the child need to go -- one more year or four years?

Kids with certain IEPs can stay in HS for eight years.

 

[crisi]

Lots of good input here. Thank you.

To answer a few questions:

--Graduates get a regular diploma. All the grads for the past four years were accepted into four-year college programs. (Of course, this school is definitely picking who they can actually help -- kids with language disorders and LDs. But the parents I've talked to say this school was life-changing for their child, who were struggling/flunking at their regular schools.)

--Students stay from 1 to 12 years. The school turns over about 1/4 of its students a year, mostly because the students have made enough progress to return to their regular schools.

--Homeschooling probably not an option, because of temperaments and learning styles and the fact that the child learns a great deal by observing peers.

--It took an amazing amount of work to get the school district to give the right support through elementary, although it did work out by 2nd grade. Middle school and High school are such different animals, because you aren't dealing with one teacher who has to understand the learning needs, but 6 or 7.

Given that success rate, and assuming my child was an appropriate candidate for that school, I'd pay for the school, but I probably wouldn't go into debt to do it. I'd downsize my life to do it. I'd get rid of anything resembling a "good" car and move into "functional" cars. We'd get rid of vacations. We wouldn't recarpet the house. I'd cut out saving for the kids college. If we couldn't swing it doing that, I'd continue to fight the IEP battle.

 

[Mom2Ben02]

I would think a full time, one-on-one aide would be helpful, and probably cheaper than a private school. (Assuming that the school would help pay for one).

 

[jodifla]

I would think a full time, one-on-one aide would be helpful, and probably cheaper than a private school. (Assuming that the school would help pay for one).

Public schools provide that. It's not the same as an intensive, special curriculum.

Edited to add: Although an aide's salaray is probably more expensive than the special school would be.

 

[jodifla]

If you can, fight the school the best you can. Don't simply pull your child out to send them to a private school. If you simply walk away, you are letting the public school district off. They have an obligation to see that your child gets a "free and appropriate education". If you let them off the hook, you are not only hurting yourself and your child, but every other family in the school district that may find them in a similar situation.

I actually agree with this, and it's what I've done so far. But I'm not sure the district can put together the right program for my child in middle school.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

Public schools provide that. It's not the same as an intensive, special curriculum.

Edited to add: Although an aide's salaray is probably more expensive than the special school would be.

I know in our district, an aide gets less than half the $25,000 that the tuition of the private school is and no benefits so definitely a cheaper way around here than to accept paying for tuitioning the student out.

 

[MrsPete]

Under the circumstances you describe, no, I would not go into debt.

First, the child is entitled to an appropriate education in a public school. I do not agree with the posters who are suggesting that you go in guns a-blazin' ready to fight for what you need. I do not agree with going the lawyer route from the beginning. This is a new school, right? Instead, go in seeing them as your partner in education, expect their cooperation, go in prepared to be a helpful and involved parent -- give them a chance to do right before you assume they'll do wrong. Remain positive but firm in your requests for specific things.

Second, that much money would buy an awful lot of enrichment outside of school: Technology, travel, tutors, classes. I feel sure that whatever the public school system can give you PLUS enrichment will equal more than the private school's offerings.

You said that homeschooling isn't realistic. How about a half-and-half approach? Use the public schools for what you see as their strengths, provide the rest via homeschooling and tutoring. You can do this, and it'll cost much less.

Public high school will offer classes and opportunities that the small private school won't offer: Perhaps the chance to take shop or electrical trades or French, perhaps sports, perhaps clubs or travel. Don't underestimate the value of these options!

Finally, I would give up completely on one topic: The concept that high school is a four-year process. For a kid with special needs, that may not be realistic. It's better for him to stay five years, but come out with real skills than to be rushed through "on time" but not get what he needs.

 

[nunzia]

I think the point others have made as to the value of a HS dipoloma for your child are valid. I'm guessing that you believe it will make a long-term difference in the child's life or you wouldn't be considering this type of debt.

I also agree that you need to continue to fight your current school district, if they can't adequately provide the education your child needs within their walls, they need to provide (pay for) it somewhere else.

I have a child with Asperger's. We paid for interventions, support staff, mobile therapists, behavior consultants, etc.. when he was in elementary school to the tune of about $60K, $40K of which was debt. In our case, these early interventions were likely to (and did) make a huge impact on his ability to succeed. Now in the 7th grade, fully mainstreamed, A student, I can say it was well worth it. We still have about $15K left to pay off, and, yes, it will limit our ability to help him with college. In his case, those early interventions made a difference that couldn't be recouped later. I wouldn't hesitate to spend that money again.

Good luck with your decision and the fights that are undoubtedly ahead for you.

I am wondering why the public system there didn't take care of what your child needed. I have a grandson with Aspergers and from early on the public school had all sorts of extra opportunities for him. He's in 5th grade and has always been in a mainstream classroom, but was pulled out for various things. That is alot of debt for what should have been worked through with the public school. I have another grandson with some issues..I am thinking he is just a touch off the spectrum, but should still have some accomodations. He was in a private school this year..mainly for small class size..but frankly we didn't see any additional attention or help for him, so will go back to public school next year. (his teacher marked his spelling of 'wizard' wrong...said it had 2 'z's..hmmm)

 

[sukhakuli]

Under the circumstances you describe, no, I would not go into debt.

First, the child is entitled to an appropriate education in a public school. I do not agree with the posters who are suggesting that you go in guns a-blazin' ready to fight for what you need. I do not agree with going the lawyer route from the beginning. This is a new school, right? Instead, go in seeing them as your partner in education, expect their cooperation, go in prepared to be a helpful and involved parent -- give them a chance to do right before you assume they'll do wrong. Remain positive but firm in your requests for specific things.

Second, that much money would buy an awful lot of enrichment outside of school: Technology, travel, tutors, classes. I feel sure that whatever the public school system can give you PLUS enrichment will equal more than the private school's offerings.

You said that homeschooling isn't realistic. How about a half-and-half approach? Use the public schools for what you see as their strengths, provide the rest via homeschooling and tutoring. You can do this, and it'll cost much less.

Public high school will offer classes and opportunities that the small private school won't offer: Perhaps the chance to take shop or electrical trades or French, perhaps sports, perhaps clubs or travel. Don't underestimate the value of these options!

Finally, I would give up completely on one topic: The concept that high school is a four-year process. For a kid with special needs, that may not be realistic. It's better for him to stay five years, but come out with real skills than to be rushed through "on time" but not get what he needs.

As a mother of a child with special needs, I agree with this post. You are entitled, by federal law, for your child to get a free and appropriate education. end of story. Too many parents allow the school districts to run over them and deny them services, because the school district figures they will just capitulate and send their kid to private school.

We have had to go through a lot to get my son the services he needs in school. We are always polite, always take the "we're a team" approach and so on. but I will also not give up. I know what my son's rights are, and I will do whatever I need to do to get him the education he is entitled to. Once the district figures that out, they typically fall in line and do what they are supposed to do. It took a year and a half here in Texas to get him the accommodations he needs, but it is worth it because he is really thriving now.

Have you talked to the school about tutors? Almost all of the special ed teachers at my ds's school will tutor students in the summer, for a fee, of course. Ds needs a lot of one on one work, and taking a summer off would put him a year behind again.

Also, I understand why homeschooling is not an option. Its frustrating when you have a child with special educational needs and you are having trouble getting him the services he has a right to, and all people tell you is to homeschool. Home schooling a child like my son would pretty much guarantee him a placement in a resident home as an adult. He has to be challenged in a chaotic social environment in order to keep his social phobias from being so acute that he can never even go out in public. I see a huge difference in him between the school year and towards the end of summer. And while we do put him in summer camps, and go out to play and so on, it's just not enough, and he starts getting terrified of strangers again. He is so naturally rigid, that if you allow him to fall in to his comfort zone, he will not be able to come out of it easily.

If you want to put him in a private school, that's one thing. But if you feel like oyu are being forced in to it because the school is dropping the ball, you need to fight for those services.

 

[hsmamato2]

expect [/I]their cooperation, go in prepared to be a helpful and involved parent -- give them a chance to do right before you assume they'll do wrong. Remain positive but firm in your requests for specific things.

Second, that much money would buy an awful lot of enrichment outside of school: Technology, travel, tutors, classes. I feel sure that whatever the public school system can give you PLUS enrichment will equal more than the private school's offerings.

You said that homeschooling isn't realistic. How about a half-and-half approach? Use the public schools for what you see as their strengths, provide the rest via homeschooling and tutoring. You can do this, and it'll cost much less.

I'm in agreement here...though not really knowing OP's child.... Homeschooling can be many different things, but it is definitely ONE thing,tailor made for each child's educational needs..... and doing a 'blend' of public and home/community enrichment could be a good option.....

 

[ssawka]

Under the circumstances you describe, no, I would not go into debt.

First, the child is entitled to an appropriate education in a public school. I do not agree with the posters who are suggesting that you go in guns a-blazin' ready to fight for what you need. I do not agree with going the lawyer route from the beginning. This is a new school, right? Instead, go in seeing them as your partner in education, expect their cooperation, go in prepared to be a helpful and involved parent -- give them a chance to do right before you assume they'll do wrong. Remain positive but firm in your requests for specific things.

Although, I agree with this in the early stages, in the words of Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse, "be nice until it's time to not be nice." In other words, when niceness and diplomacy prove to be ineffective it is time to flex your muscles. Every parent with a child with special needs always needs to be thinking about what the district's real intentions are when negotiating an IEP. It would be nice if the schools always had the best interest of the child in mind, but unfortunately that is not always the case.

Second, that much money would buy an awful lot of enrichment outside of school: Technology, travel, tutors, classes. I feel sure that whatever the public school system can give you PLUS enrichment will equal more than the private school's offerings.

You said that homeschooling isn't realistic. How about a half-and-half approach? Use the public schools for what you see as their strengths, provide the rest via homeschooling and tutoring. You can do this, and it'll cost much less.

This would be great if it were doable, but many families are not in situations where one of the parents can be that involved. Homeschooling and seeing specialists is a huge time commitment. I'm not saying it is not worth it, but for many families, this simply is not an option.

Public high school will offer classes and opportunities that the small private school won't offer: Perhaps the chance to take shop or electrical trades or French, perhaps sports, perhaps clubs or travel. Don't underestimate the value of these options!

This is true, provided the basic educational goals are being met first.

Finally, I would give up completely on one topic: The concept that high school is a four-year process. For a kid with special needs, that may not be realistic. It's better for him to stay five years, but come out with real skills than to be rushed through "on time" but not get what he needs.

This ITA! Don't be in a hurry to get the child out of school. Let them graduate when they are ready. In VA, a child can stay in school until they are 21. We are planning on having DD (who has Down syndrome) in the schools as long as we possibly can.

 

[MrsPete]

If you want to put him in a private school, that's one thing. But if you feel like oyu are being forced in to it because the school is dropping the ball, you need to fight for those services.

Yes, I agree. I'm not getting the feeling that the OP is considering this because she wants it, but because she feels pushed.

Although, I agree with this in the early stages, in the words of Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse, "be nice until it's time to not be nice." In other words, when niceness and diplomacy prove to be ineffective it is time to flex your muscles. Every parent with a child with special needs always needs to be thinking about what the district's real intentions are when negotiating an IEP. It would be nice if the schools always had the best interest of the child in mind, but unfortunately that is not always the case.

Do I understand correctly that the child doesn't even attend this school yet? I can't see going in with the assumption that the school is going to drop the ball. If things don't go well, of course you need to become pushy -- but give niceness and diplomacy a chance first.

I could name dozens and dozens of students who've gone into the same classroom -- and let's assume they have similar abilities, etc., etc., etc. -- yet they have very different experiences. One student'll click with the teacher, while the other won't. One parent'll help with homework and provide lots of structure and support, while the other comes home and ignores the child. One student'll fit in with his classmates, while the other'll be something of an outcast. They'll both misbehave one day, and one of them'll say to himself, "I deserved that reprimand", while the other'll fester over it for weeks and decide that the teacher dislikes him. So many factors go into whether a child succeeds or fails. Give it a chance before you decide whether it's appropriate for the child.

This would be great if it were doable, but many families are not in situations where one of the parents can be that involved. Homeschooling and seeing specialists is a huge time commitment. I'm not saying it is not worth it, but for many families, this simply is not an option.

Going into debt is also time-consuming and problematic. Time vs. debt. I see it as a "which of these evils can you best accept?" option.

 

[jodifla]

You are right that I feel a bit pushed. I'm not sure I should go into all the details here.

So what can I say? Let's see: I was told by a person very much in the know about my child and the district that they didn't see any good program for my child in the district. That he didn't fit into any box that they had, and they'd have to come up with a program for him. And we spoke of options, it came out that this other school would probably be a great fit for him.

My concern is that even if I can get a good IEP written, the people instituting it won't have the level of expertise needed to fully implement it. So my son will be in the beta testing phase of a program instead of the well-oiled, proven environment where kids are graduating from high school and heading off to college.

Oh, and at one point, a long-term sub came in from this other school. The difference was night and day with approach from her and the district instruction.

 

[sukhakuli]

Just because they have to tailor make a program for him, doesn't mean that program is inferior. Most special needs kids don't fit in to a box, and throwing a one sized fits all program at them won't help them succeed, no matter how long they have been using that program. I wouldn't discount what the school offers without challenging them to meet his needs.

 

[Mama Who]

If the school is not able to provide an appropriate education locally, they are required to pay the tution for a program that IS appropriate. Get a good lawyer who knows all the ins and outs of special ed law, and the school district will pay the tution for you.

This. The best use of funds is a lawyer or a good advocate who can make the school system provide the child with an appropriate education. Should cost MUCH less than 25K.

 

[disneymarie]

If your child has an IEP, they should be able to go to an out of district placement at no additional cost.

That is assuming that the student is originally a public school student.
Check out www.wrightslaw.org

Some of the others that know about the ACT and IEP know about educational advocates. The school district is receiving funds for your child to receive individulized needs based education. Make them adapt, if they refuse there is a heck of a legal issue going on there.

Some parents need to be very vocal to get their childs education. My dnephew has cerebal palsey. He had an one on one aide all through school a very blessed one. He had health issues and lost some time, the school let him go across the stage with his class and return in the fall for the additioanl credits.

My dd has anxiety/panic disorder and moderate agoraphobic. The school situation even accomadating home schooling with 1 class in the morning, was not working out.

We went to an accredited online school which has been great for us. The teachers and staff are wonderful. Right now we are challenged on her speech for English. It needs to be recorded. DD is stressed over it. Working on options, such as just talking of her subject more casually. Lossen the formatt a bit and make her comfortable. At this point she is in a lot of stress over it. Panicked...

I do not have to pay a tuition, the states allotment goest to the online school, she has a computer, books, lesson needs, LIve lessons that are recorded, pop up in lesson instruction, and social activities during the month if she desires to attend. So far the only one is a local amusement park but she will not meet the teachers face to face.

I would see if you may feel comfortable with this option too.
di

 

[ssawka]

Do I understand correctly that the child doesn't even attend this school yet? I can't see going in with the assumption that the school is going to drop the ball. If things don't go well, of course you need to become pushy -- but give niceness and diplomacy a chance first..

No, if you read the thread, the OP is considering a private school because she is not getting appropriate support from the public school. I agree with you that you should try diplomacy yet, but have you ever sat in an IEP meeting? What generally happens is that the school has a whole team of "experts" who tell the parents what is in the best interest of the child. Now a days, the schools are run much like corporations. The name of the game is to cut costs regardless of what is in the best interest of the child. We have been fortunate so far in that we have established a good report with DD teachers, but I know that it will get harder and harder as she progresses through the school system.

 

[MrsPete]

No, if you read the thread, the OP is considering a private school because she is not getting appropriate support from the public school. I agree with you that you should try diplomacy yet, but have you ever sat in an IEP meeting? What generally happens is that the school has a whole team of "experts" who tell the parents what is in the best interest of the child. Now a days, the schools are run much like corporations. The name of the game is to cut costs regardless of what is in the best interest of the child. We have been fortunate so far in that we have established a good report with DD teachers, but I know that it will get harder and harder as she progresses through the school system.

I have read the thread; however, I have the impression that the student is about to start the new level of public school in the fall. I get this impression because the OP says that she has suspicions about the school, she has heard things from other people in the district, and they would have to (future tense verb) cobble together a program. She doesn't comment on personal experiences with this school. Thus, I'm thinking that this is a choice that's coming up in the future, not what he's doing now. I don't see a firm answer on whether he's there or not yet, but those are the between-the-lines things that make me think she's planning, not escaping. That's also why I think she needs to give the school a try before she makes up her mind.

I have been in many, many IEP meetings, and I haven't seen a "what generally happens". Some kids need very little help, while other kids need substantial assistance. Some parents are realistic about their kids' needs and abilities, and others want things that don't make any sense. I have seen meetings that include a great deal of give-and-take between teachers and parents, and I have seen meetings where parents say next to nothing. I have also seen meetings in which parents come in angry from the get-go; to paint with a broad brush, those tend to be parents who expect the impossible. I agree that cost cutting is rampant, but it's much, much worse outside the special ed programs.

 

[disneycruising]

First...Hugs. I know how had this is to go thru. Dealing with the school district can drive you crazy.

I would pull my child out and sent them to a different school if I could!! At the end of the day you have to live with the decisions you make for your child. Yes, the school SHOULD give them the education they deserve...but it doesn't always happen. I feel, a parent, it is my job to decide the school is doing a GOOD enough job FOR MY CHILD. And if the school is not... I want to go some where else.... where they really do care about my child education.

My oldest DD (18) has Aspergers and things with the school have not been easy. She decided last year that she wanted to do home- schooling thru the school district for her senior year. Greatest thing we have ever done!!

My youngest DD (12) has dyslexia. She was diagnosed in 1 grade. We gave the school the opportunity to help her in resource. But by 3rd grade, it was obvious that they were not doing enough for her. She was a whole year behind in reading. So, in 4 grade we sent her to a (very small) private school for children with dyslexia an hour away. I spent 4 hours a day driving her to school & back everyday! On the first day of school she came out saying how much she love it! We knew... at that moment we had made the right choice for her. She attended that school for 2 years to get her up to grade level. She went back to middle school this year and has done GREAT. I know that I have done everything I can to get her the best education possible!!

Only you know what is right for your child.

Good luck.

 

[sukhakuli]

No, if you read the thread, the OP is considering a private school because she is not getting appropriate support from the public school. I agree with you that you should try diplomacy yet, but have you ever sat in an IEP meeting? What generally happens is that the school has a whole team of "experts" who tell the parents what is in the best interest of the child. Now a days, the schools are run much like corporations. The name of the game is to cut costs regardless of what is in the best interest of the child. We have been fortunate so far in that we have established a good report with DD teachers, but I know that it will get harder and harder as she progresses through the school system.

This is exactly what happened to us in Texas. In California we had no problems getting my ds services. In general. We had to tell the school that we fully understood the law, and then they backed down fast and ds got everything he needed. However, here in Texas we had exactly what you are talking about. The SCHOOL wanted the extra services for ds, they were begging for them, but the DISTRICT refused to accept his medical diagnosis and give him services. Ds has a paper trail a mile long from multiple specialists in multiple states, some civilian, some military, and some who work for the state. And for some reason the school psychologist refused to accept it. She got a district minion in our IEP meetings who was very aggressive with me and dh as well. Dh is a Pediatric specialist and they accused him of falsifying records to get ds services he didn't need. I finally started gathering names of lawyers and told the psychologist I wanted to take it over her head to her supervisor. About 2 weeks later I got a call from the Speech Therapist who told me that the district was accepting the diagnosis, and the school psychologist wouldn't speak to me anymore. Really bizarre, all the way around. But in the end my ds is finally getting the special education help he needs, and even after the district representative said I was crazy for asking for an aid for ds, he now has an aid. And he's doing great. He was being forcibly removed from the classroom 4-5 days a week, and since we got the aid, he has only gotten excellent reports.

It varies so much by state, that you can't generalize at all. But some states are real butt heads about giving services to kids with special needs. My ds has some pretty serious issues, and the school was begging for help, and the district just would not do it.