Would you ever....

[Luv Bunnies]

OP, are you the Mom or the care provider?

I am a teaching assistant in a special ed preschool program. Our class is run by a public school district. Kids from 3-years old up to kindergarten age qualify for our program when they are diagnosed with disabilities. Kids placed in my class are considered mild to moderately disabled with speech/language delays and related conditions. None of our kids have physical disabilities. Our kids have autism, ADHD, or other types of developmental delays.

okay - I say D - why is she still a customer of this daycare? I would let her know next time is her last time - SEE YA!!

We're not a daycare. The child in question attends a daycare in the mornings, then is brought to our specialized class by the mom for the afternoon session.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

You know, I used to be a home daycare provider, and it really wouldn't bother me if a child was dropped off with a poopy diaper. That was part of my job - changing poopy diapers! I might be concerned if the child seemed to have been left in the diaper long enough that his skin was irritated and would talk to the mother about that, but otherwise, hey, it's just part of caring for a child. And about it happening repeatedly - some kids (not all) will poop at the same times every day, depending on their schedule for meals, so I can see how this could happen day after day. So, it wouldn't really bother me.

 

[Marchand63]

We're not a daycare. The child in question attends a daycare in the mornings, then is brought to our specialized class by the mom for the afternoon session.

and that changes the response = how? It is not the child who is the problem, it is the Mom.

You asked if A,B or C - so either keep going the way it is, or say something.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

and that changes the response = how? It is not the child who is the problem, it is the Mom.

You asked if A,B or C - so either keep going the way it is, or say something.

It doesn't change the response at all. I was responding to the person who asked why this person was still a customer. As a public school, we don't have the option to refuse service to anyone.

 

[kuhltiffany]

Why isn't the day care she is coming from putting her in a clean diaper before she leaves?

 

[lanejudy]

Why isn't the day care she is coming from putting her in a clean diaper before she leaves?

That's my question as well. If the child needs changing when mom picks her up, mom needs to tell the daycare to have her clean and ready at pick up time. If the soiling occurs during the ride between daycare and preschool, it would be nice if mom offered to change the child on arrival. I assume this is a working mom, who needs her child in daycare so she can work. Yet because the child has special needs and probably to get the needed IEP services the child must attend the special needs preschool, which happens to be a half-day program and presumably doesn't include transportation. My bet is mom would ideally prefer to have a full-day program and is probably feeling lucky that she works close enough to spend her lunch break running the transfer, but depending on her job it may take her full allotted break time, meaning she is rushed for the preschool drop-off. A similar half-day program was strongly recommended for my DD, but we and had to leave her in a full-day setting that wasn't geared to her special needs; work schedules just didn't allow enough time for either my husband or myself to commit to that specific time frame each day. It's a tough situation.

OP -- if arriving in need of a diaper change has become a problem for the preschool, the head teacher should calmly speak with mom about the situation. Explain why it's an issue at preschool and that it's not just a complaint; ask if the child is clean when picked up at daycare; ask if mom can take a few extra minutes to take care of the child; offer to help work out a solution together with the child's be. Parents of special needs kids appreciate a helpful approach rather than a negative attitude.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

In answer to a few questions raised by posters:

The mom does not work. She puts the child in a morning daycare program so she can "socialize with general ed kids" (her words). Mom picks up the child and transfers her to our program which begins at noon. On many days, she stands in the parking lot and talks to another mom in our program. It's possible she has appointments to get to on some days, but she does not have a job.

This particular child has no physical needs that would preclude the mom from changing her in the back of their minivan.

I do not know whether the daycare changes her right before she leaves. I also don't know if she does her business at the daycare or in the car.

Today, our teacher was prepared to speak with the mom since it happened Mon-Wed this week. But, the dad brought the child to school, which happens on occasion. Dad walked the child to the door, smiled, said hello, then announced that his daughter needed to be changed! The teacher didn't want to say anything at that point since dad rarely brings her. She does plan to talk to the mom next time it happens.

It wouldn't be a huge issue if we didn't have a tight classroom schedule. On some days, kids need to be walked to the speech room as soon as they arrive. She misses the first few minutes of her speech session when she has to be changed.

I should also add that I, myself, am a parent of a special needs child. In fact, he was a student in the very same program 16 years ago before I began working there. I know both sides of the issue. While I knew that my son would be well taken care of while at school, I also respected the staff's time. I never dropped my son off with a dirty diaper.

The teacher is planning to speak with the mom at the next class. I appreciate everyone's input.

 

[kuhltiffany]

Then I would definitely say something. I'd instruct the mom that the children have to come ready for the program, and she's welcome to use your change table if she wants.

 

[pinkxray]

We change DS right before we leave for daycare. We are about 10 min away but it has happened that he goes on the way. I have asked if I could change him but they always decline and do it themselves. Also when I pick him up it is often right after nap time when they would change him. They always offer to change him before we go but as long as it's just wet I just take him home and change him. I would never leave the house knowing he needed to be changed and leave it for them. If it seems like she is leaving it too long and just waiting for them to do it the provider should definitely mention it.