Would you ever yell at your screaming 5 year old to "Shut Up"?

[Beauty]

To be completly honest I sometimes do judge people by how they are dressed. I know thats wrong and snobbish but I do........I know I shouldn't..........I KNOW I SHOULDN'T but I can't help it at times.

If she was dressed like a hoochy then I probably would have felt super sorry for the child and probably glared at the mother and disliked her.

That being said my worst and favorite thing to say to J.C. when he was younger was SHUT-IT. Thinking back I never remember screaming it or yelling it......usually in the firm voice I used that was all it took.

As he has gotten older thankfully I hardly ever have to ask him more than once to Hush.

 

[Abracadabra]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
Secondly, I did not want to judge her but I did. She was dressed like a prostitue or something and IMO, that is just a horrible example she was setting for her daughter (who was about 10 and also with her). But hey- if she wants to dress like a tramp, more power to her, but I have every right to think she is setting a terrible example for her daughter.

She was yanking the 5 yo's arm. It looked like it hurt. I'm sorry but I have a hard time minding my own business when I see a grown adult, dressed like that (drawing attention herself) , screaming (louder than the child was, mind you) at a small child in public (drawing even more attention to herself) and the arm yanking was unnecessary (he was small and not very heavy), looked painful to the boy and IMO, a mother like that...who knows what she does to her kids in the privacy of her own home. This mother may have been frazzled, but the vibe I got from her was that she was not frazzled, she was just like that. But I'll neverknow for sure. I hope my bad vibe I got from her was wrong.

You can think whatever you want, but when you feel the need to begin sharing those thoughts in public to sensationalize the story or get responses that you prefer, it begins to make one wonder what the purpose of the thread really is.

If you really have such a hard time MYOB, then you would have reported what was (or should have been) a case of child abuse ('yanking the child's arm ... "It looked like it hurt.") to the appropriate authorities. If she was really dressed this outlandishly, she would have been easy to spot. If the yanking was unnecessary, then it was, at least, borderline abuse of the child. If you even suspect child abuse, you have a responsibility to report it. Otherwise, you are simply condoning it, which is just as bad as actually doing it.

I, too, hope your "bad vibe" was completely wrong. If it were me, knowing what I usually do when I ride the commuter train to/from work, I would assume it was a "bad" dream.

 

[Pembo]

Wait, so now how you dress tells what kind of parent you are? Puh-lease! As I said before MYOB!

 

[Auggietina]

I love the quiet game!

Let's see who can be the quietest longest and who ever wins gets a dollar!


That ususally works for us

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Wow some people on this board seriously overreact to things.

I was concerned about this child. I told you why I did not report it. I was asking if screaming at children to shut up is commonplace these days.

I swear some people just respond to threads to try and start debates. I feel sicked that I gave them their way. From now on, all comments made on this thread to MMOB will be ignored.

For people who think it's horrible to judge, a few of you have been pretty darn quick to judge me.

 

[Cebhfhionn]

My DS is 9 now but there were times in public that I'm sure that people thought I was abusing him. My sister and I took him to a flea market when he was about 3, he wanted something there and he was tired so when he didn't get it, he started screaming and collapsed his body so we couldn't pick him up. My sister held him by one arm and I by the other and we carried him out of there all the while he's screaming that we were "choking him!" Of course, we weren't choking him but geez, the looks we were getting from people just because he was.

So, back to the question at hand, no I don't tell him to shut up, I was also taught that's a rude thing to say.

My point is, try not to judge other people with their children, you have no idea what has transpired prior to the moment you are looking on.

Blessings & Peace,
Polly

 

[Lisa F]

I must preface this by saying I don't have kids but pretty much everyone I know has them and I have to say that I now cut people with kids WAY more slack than I did before the "baby boom" among my friends happened. There is something truly humbling about seeing the nicest, calmest, most together people in the world completely come unglued by something that seems like nothing to me... heck sometimes the stuff the kids do seems downright CUTE to me, but I guess not so much if it's the 100th time in the last 10 minutes.

I suppose if I didn't already know these people or if I never hung out with parents and their toddlers/young kids, I could continue to blissfully go through the world privately thinking that parents are idiots for not "just" doing x, y or z when their child acts up. I mean, everyone knows that if a child is acting up all you have to do is lean down and whisper in their ear "please do not yell, we are using our inside voices" and they will immediately hush and revert to their previously angelic selves, right? Gosh, this parenting thing is so easy, I might actually try it with real kids someday!

 

[tiggersmom2]

Originally posted by Pembo
Wait, so now how you dress tells what kind of parent you are? Puh-lease! As I said before MYOB!

I agree Pembo When I get off of work during the summer, I routinely put on my tank top and daisy duke shorts as soon as I get home ( and yes, I will run to the grocery store IN these clothes WITH my kids). I guess alot of people see me as a hoochie mama/bad parent!

 

[CRSNDSNY]

Originally posted by Cebhfhionn
My point is, try not to judge other people with their children, you have no idea what has transpired prior to the moment you are looking on.

Blessings & Peace,
Polly

Yes. And really, you have no idea what is going on in the lives of people you see on a subway, walking down the street, sitting in church, etc. You don't know what is going on inside of someone so jumping to the worst possible conclusion may not be the way to go. It is really nobody's business.

Until you can listen to their heart or walk a mile in their shoes, you can never tell what is going on inside of them.

So focus on your own self and try to be the best person you can be based on your own morals.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Originally posted by tiggersmom2
I agree Pembo When I get off of work during the summer, I routinely put on my tank top and daisy duke shorts as soon as I get home ( and yes, I will run to the grocery store IN these clothes WITH my kids). I guess alot of people see me as a hoochie mama/bad parent!

That's not what this woman was wearing. She was wearing a shirt that purposely showed off her stomach (and it was not warm out this morning) and pants that purposely showed off her thong. I'm sorry, but I don't know anyone who can't see the difference between a tank top and shorts and the outfit I described.

I'm leaving this thread now since it's pretty apparent no one agrees with me and I see no point in continuing in this discussion. The rest of you all have fun.

 

[tiggersmom2]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
I'm sorry, but I don't know anyone who can't see the difference between a tank top and shorts and the outfit I described.

Sometimes my tank tops DO show my stomach! To be perfectly honest with you, I just find the whole post "off". As another poster posted earlier it has "evolved". First - all the mother did was tell the child to shut up, then - she was yanking on his arm, finally - a few posts later, she turns into a hoochie mama.

This is just my 2 cents and my take on the whole post.

 

[MScott1851]

I have this mental picture in my mind from an episode of Sex and The City where all the girls are sitting in a cafe and Charlotte gets up and storms out and Miranda quips,

"AND SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK!!!"


Thanks for the giggle!

 

[CRSNDSNY]

Originally posted by tiggersmom2
Sometimes my tank tops DO show my stomach! To be perfectly honest with you, I just find the whole post "off". As another poster posted earlier it has "evolved". First - all the mother did was tell the child to shut up, then - she was yanking on his arm, finally - a few posts later, she turns into a hoochie mama.

This is just my 2 cents and my take on the whole post.

Ahhh, then you must be a prostitute, too!

 

[minniepumpernickel]

Originally posted by Robinrs
It was highly inappropriate but a screaming 5yo can make you do just about anything if you're frustrated enough.'

BTW, I was 36 when I had my first child and I thought I wouldn't do a LOT of things if I had kids, too, until I had one!

My son calls "shuttup" the "S" word and sees it as a "curse" word also. I did not grow up that way but can appreciate his take on it, like your family did.

Robin,
I admire you so much! I had no idea that you didn't have your first child until you were 36! Well, I guess there is still hope for me then.

I'm an aunt and my job so far has just been to spoil my neices and nephews. My little neice calls me and screams "cake" into the phone. Thats what she associates with me, lol! So I know nothing about parenting.

Oh well, I'll have to read the rest of the thread someday!

 

[luvindisneyworld]

Not everyone has to agree.

You know alot of pants and jeans are made now to where you do see a thong or any other kinda underwear that someone has on.It does not mean she is a hoochie mama or a prostitute.

Just because she had a hold of the little boy with a grip does not mean she beats and abuses him.What if she had been letting him walk by himself and he ran away from her,Maybe thats the reason that she was holding on to him.

Would you have thought the same thing if the woman had of been dressed very professional?

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX


I was concerned about this child. I told you why I did not report it.

You're going to report a Mother for yelling 'shut up' at her kids? Please!! You better get busy on the phone because I'd be willing to bet that's not the only Mom in the world who has told her kids to shut up. I SERIOUSLY think you need to either become a Mother or spend a day in the Mother's shoes before you decide that she is so rotten. And you shouldn't judge her on the way she dresses either because if I recall correctly you posted a few pictures of the things you wear and I don't necessarily think they were the average attire of a 20 something.

 

[Crankyshank]

I just realized my shirt is too short to be tucked in and when I just bent over to grab my dropped paper clip, you could see my tattoo and probably my undies because I am not wearing a belt and the waist is loose

I swear I am not a prostitute. Am I going to be allowed to have children?

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

Originally posted by Auggietina
I love the quiet game!

Let's see who can be the quietest longest and who ever wins gets a dollar!


That ususally works for us

What a great (and CIVILIZED) idea!!

 

[Doesney]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
I'm sorry but I have a hard time minding my own business

That seems to be where the problem lies. It is none of your business. You do not at all know what precipitated her actions.

For you to even entertain the thought of calling security is ridiculous. For petes sake you do not even have any children, so you have no clue. And for you to compare that dog of yours to a child is a whole other thread. You sweetie, should be at my house at 8:00am on a school morning after me working all night in the hospital, shut up would be the least of your concerns.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Evolving story? Maybe EsmeraldaX didn't originally post the woman's attire because she thought (gee, I'm going to go out on limb here) that she might have gotten flamed for it.

So far as the MYOB crowd, let me say that as I child I wish the MYOB crowd would have stepped in and stood up for me when I was too little to take up for myself as it would have saved me from a childhood of extreme verbal and physical abuse.