Would you do this or is it selfish?

[tinkerlisa]

I was thinking of doing the Disney Honeymoon Registry. We are having a small Escape wedding and have only invited very few people.
I figured that since my DF and I have been together for so long(7 years) that it would be selfish to do a registry at say Macy's or some other department store. Does it seem selfish to do a registry of any kind, even a Disney Honeymoon one? Also if I do a Disney one, should I keep it to the invited guests or branch out and tell everyone?
Any opinion would be greatly appreciated! THANKS!!!

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

I struggled with this same exact problem a few months ago - very few guests, would asking the same guests who are spending all this money to fly down with us be miffed if I set up a registry, or if I branched it out to others would they be miffed that they weren't invited?

DF and I have been together for a long time, too, and we decided not to have a registry. I don't want a bridal shower, no gifts, nothing. We decided just come down to celebrate with us is all we needed. I was really worried about drama stirring up so it was easy for us to just go this way. My Mom doesn't get it but it's the decision we made for ourselves.

 

[Lynn5700]

I had an escape and registered....I also had an at home reception though where everybody was invited.

 

[tinkerlisa]

Thanks! The reason I ask is this: My problem is I have an aunt who is "old school" ok not exactly "old school" but a criticizing b***ch!!!!! I already know that if i do a registry of any kind, i will never hear the end of it!!! And that is because Stan and I have been together for so long she will say its tacky!(she did this to my cousin) I have other family members who would feel the same way but they don't voice their opinions the way this woman does!!!
I don't want any drama of any kind!!!!

 

[tinkandonaldfans]

what might be an idea would be to set up the disney registry and use it to add any spare money in yourselves and if anyone asks if you have registered tell them about it. or if anyone sends you some money as a gift then put it into the registry.

what you could also do but is a bit cheeky is to remove the registry from your aunt's invitation only! that way she will be none the wiser!

 

[hiwaygal]

I would create the registry and tell a few select people (mom, sis, best friend) and let THEM tell others about it if they ask.

It doesn't cost anything to set it up and dream...some people may participate and others may not.

Putting the registry on the invitation would be considered "tacky" by old school standards.

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

Actually, I think they say it's "tacky" to include any registry information on your invitations, Save the Dates, etc. It's best to let it spread around by word of mouth.

But, back to OP - I know what you mean about the drama. That's exactly why we said screw the presents. LOL!!! Maybe people will just show up with money or something.

 

[tinkerlisa]

what might be an idea would be to set up the disney registry and use it to add any spare money in yourselves and if anyone asks if you have registered tell them about it. or if anyone sends you some money as a gift then put it into the registry.

what you could also do but is a bit cheeky is to remove the registry from your aunt's invitation only! that way she will be none the wiser!

Thats a great idea!
To give you an idea of what kind of person my aunt is I will tell you what she did to my cousin:
My cousin and her then fiance were set to be married. She had had a bridal shower and everything. About 3 weeks before the wedding, they decided to call it off due to some relationship difficulties. They did work out their problems and ended up technically eloping at Disney(i think she got the idea from me, since i said stan and i wanted to get married there)
Anyhow, after they had called off their wedding my crazy aunt wanted the gift back that she gave her at the bridal shower!!! she said it is tacky to keep gifts if you aren't getting married! keep in mind the couple never broke up!!!! they just called off their wedding not the engagement! she made a big stink about it and to this day complains that she didnt give EVERYONE their gifts back!!!!
I personally think its tacky to complain about this!

 

[tinkerlisa]

yeah i figured word of mouth would do. its is definitly tacky to include that info on invites!

 

[Mermaid_Ariel]

Thats a great idea!
To give you an idea of what kind of person my aunt is I will tell you what she did to my cousin:
My cousin and her then fiance were set to be married. She had had a bridal shower and everything. About 3 weeks before the wedding, they decided to call it off due to some relationship difficulties. They did work out their problems and ended up technically eloping at Disney(i think she got the idea from me, since i said stan and i wanted to get married there)
Anyhow, after they had called off their wedding my crazy aunt wanted the gift back that she gave her at the bridal shower!!! she said it is tacky to keep gifts if you aren't getting married! keep in mind the couple never broke up!!!! they just called off their wedding not the engagement! she made a big stink about it and to this day complains that she didnt give EVERYONE their gifts back!!!!
I personally think its tacky to complain about this!

I think it's tacky of HER to be a taker-backer!! I mean, should they give the presents back if they split up (which they didn't here) yes, but I don't think you should expect them back.

Some people just love to cause trouble I guess. I dunno why.

 

[WriteDisney]

yeah i figured word of mouth would do. its is definitly tacky to include that info on invites!

Really? I haven't heard this specifically.. I don't see anything wrong with it.. people attending your wedding (or even shower) will want to know where your registered.. but I don't think its necessary or that you have to.. I don't see anything wrong with it either way.. its your wedding do what you want I say!

 

[DisneyDmbNut]

My DH and I have been together for 11 years..long story but I had no plan to register until I had many friends tell me they wanted to buy me something..I insisted that it wasn't necessary as we have a household established, etc. I was told "if we don't know what you want, we will buy you something ugly you will hate!!" LOL


I ended up picking out a few things at William Sonoma ..small stuff that I would never buy for myself..

I am sure some people in my family were HORRIFIED that I registered, but I could care less..I didn't expect anything and was THRILLED with what I got!

 

[Ember]

Registering is fine so long as the information is spread by word of mouth should someone ask. Please don't include registry (or any gift information) in an invitation. There is no polite way to invite gifts to your wedding, so stick with inviting people.

 

[disneyberry]

I've heard that as well, about keeping registry info limited to word of mouth.

It makes sense, since you're really not supposed to be inviting people to your wedding and holding your hand out like "gimme gifts".

We only registered with the Disney Honeymoon Registry, since my fiance and I have been together ... ahem... over 12 years (LOL) and we *really* don't need any more junk in our place (like 4 toaster ovens or something). Our wishlist of things we want to buy in the future is: a house, and a car. So yeah, no way to really ask people for that.

We have not mentioned our Disney Registry on our invitations, personal website, or any other communications we've had with our guests. The only place it's listed is on the official (crappy) Disney wedding website under the registry tab. What we've done is tell our Honor attendants that if anyone asks them, to let them know about the Registry.

Plus, mostly we're hoping our guests will follow what seems to be common now in the Northeast: Giving a card with a personal check (money) as a wedding gift on the day of the wedding. It's what my fiance and I have always given to other couples.

But meh, if people don't give us anything, no big deal. We'll just make a mental note to remember that for the rest of our lives. Hahahah.

(I'm just waiting to see who shows up in Florida with some stupid big wedding gift for us LOL)

I do have to admit, I've always felt that the practice of having bridal or wedding showers before the wedding, and expecting people to buy something off your registry then AND also give you a wedding gift at your wedding seems a bit over the top. But *shrug* it could be a cultural or regional thing that I just have a hard time understanding hehe.