Would you consider this "neglect"?

[lizardqueen]

NOT ASKING IF THIS WAS A BAD "IDEA", ASKING IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER IT "NEGLECT OF THE CHILDREN"

After having a MySpace account for over a year, with pics of our entire family, some including our foster kids, and a blog that was set to "private" so that only the people I invited to read it being allowed into it, "someone" reported us to DYFS and the Institute of Abuse.

All of a sudden we have people coming to our home saying that we compromised the childrens safety and that it was breaking the confidentiality agreement by having the kids pictures on a personal myspace web page. The first person that came out, I was shocked that after all this time somebody just now "found" my page. But I agreed to take the content off of my page. Now, these were not "pornographic" or "compromising" photos in anyway. Just pics of us at Christmas or over the summer, etc. Then the person from the institute of abuse came out and said that we were being investigated for neglect because of the content of my myspace page. She said that it was in very poor judgement for me to have this on my page. Now, keep in mind -- somebody would have had to hack into my account, because everything was set to "personal" or "private". And yes, some of it was very detailed about the case, but then again, it is just my personal journal. They don't call it "myspace" for nothing. After they left, I tried to get into my blog without logging in to myspace and it said just what I thought it would. Something to the effect of "you cannot view the content of this page without the permission of this person".

So now, we are in jeopardy of having our fostering license suspended and our kids who have been with us since Oct 2005, removed from our home.

Can you tell me, would you consider this neglect? And if so, then how?

*** I DO WANT TO ADD THAT YOU HAD TO BE PUT ON AS ONE OF MY FRIENDS TO EVEN GET ONTO MY PAGE. WHEN YOU SEARCH FOR MY NAME, IT WILL NOT ALLOW YOU INTO MY PROFILE UNLESS I "ACCEPT" YOU. THAT'S WHY I AM SAYING THAT I WAS HACKED. I ALSO DID NOT PUT PERSONAL INFO WITH THE PICS -- JUST NICKNAMES -- NO OTHER IDENTIFYING INFO, SO IT HAD TO BE SOMEONE THAT WAS LOOKING FOR A REASON TO REPORT US (WE HAVE A COURT HEARING COMING UP IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS) TO TRY AND MAKE US LOOK BAD -- I WAS SHARING PICS OF THE KIDS WITH MY COUSIN WHO WAS STATIONED IN AFGHANISTAN, WHO HAD NO EMAIL, ONLY MYSPACE***

 

[justaquestion]

I don't think it was a good idea for you to do that. People get weird about putting kids pictures on the internet. For the record, I'm sure it was harmless, but in a foster care situation, I wouldn't have done that.

Should they take away your foster kids? No.

 

[famofsix]

i would get a lawyer to protect yourself

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You breached a confidentiality agreement.
I do not consider "My Space" private, it is hacked site.

 

[Hedy]

You breached a confidentiality agreement.
I do not consider "My Space" private, it is hacked site.

Agreed.

 

[Aimeedyan]

I won't put my own pictures on the net much less children that I am fostering however I am sorry that you are facing this. I agree that a call to a lawyer sounds like the smart thing to do.

MySpace is not private and easy to hack into. It's just not safe...

I hope things work out for your family. I have a tremendous amount of respect for those that foster chilldren.

 

[Cool-Beans]

After having a MySpace account for over a year, with pics of our entire family, some including our foster kids, and a blog that was set to "private" so that only the people I invited to read it being allowed into it, "someone" reported us to DYFS and the Institute of Abuse.

All of a sudden we have people coming to our home saying that we compromised the childrens safety and that it was breaking the confidentiality agreement by having the kids pictures on a personal myspace web page. The first person that came out, I was shocked that after all this time somebody just now "found" my page. But I agreed to take the content off of my page. Now, these were not "pornographic" or "compromising" photos in anyway. Just pics of us at Christmas or over the summer, etc. Then the person from the institute of abuse came out and said that we were being investigated for neglect because of the content of my myspace page. She said that it was in very poor judgement for me to have this on my page. Now, keep in mind -- somebody would have had to hack into my account, because everything was set to "personal" or "private". And yes, some of it was very detailed about the case, but then again, it is just my personal journal. They don't call it "myspace" for nothing. After they left, I tried to get into my blog without logging in to myspace and it said just what I thought it would. Something to the effect of "you cannot view the content of this page without the permission of this person".

So now, we are in jeopardy of having our fostering license suspended and our kids who have been with us since Oct 2005, removed from our home.

Can you tell me, would you consider this neglect? And if so, then how?

What case? Did you post personal info about the kids with their pictures?? If you did, you had no business doing that. I'm sure you were well-intentioned, but it was a bad call.

I have always thought it was a bad idea to post pictures of children online, but everyone has to make those decisions for themselves. However, these aren't your children, so it might be best to not post their pictures anywhere.

 

[SplshMtn99]

I don't really know.

I scrapbook & I remember seeing a womans' scrapbook pages online that contained photos of her foster child. Those were the only faces she blanked out. Hers & her family's photos were not. I just assumed she did it for the child's privacy. He was very young from what you could see. You also could not read the journaling of the pages online. She did provide the story a different way, but changed the boys name & used "xx" around the made up name.

 

[lulugirl]

I won't put my own pictures on the net much less children that I am fostering however I am sorry that you are facing this. I agree that a call to a lawyer sounds like the smart thing to do.

MySpace is not private and easy to hack into. It's just not safe...

I hope things work out for your family. I have a tremendous amount of respect for those that foster chilldren.

I agree.
I think you used poor judgement but I don't think you should lose your fostering license.

 

[kdibattista]

While it probably wasn't a smart move, I don't think it's neglect and I think it would be horrible for you to lose the children over this

Do you think it could have been their biological family... if they are "in the picture"?

 

[lizardqueen]

While it probably wasn't a smart move, I don't think it's neglect and I think it would be horrible for you to lose the children over this

Do you think it could have been their biological family... if they are "in the picture"?

That is exactly who we are thinking that it could be. They have been having major issues with us having their children and have been trying multiple things to have the kids removed from our home.

 

[Cool-Beans]

If this child was pulled from their home due to abuse and the parent is out there looking for them then it is absolutely neglect. One job of a foster parent is to protect the child from harm. Putting a picture out there for others to see and show whomever they please could be dangerous.

I don't thin the OP meant any harm and am not trying to flame her.

I would think that the agency would have mentioned this at some point and put it in writing. If they didn't, the OP has nothing to worry about. If they did, that's another story.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

NOT ASKING IF THIS WAS A BAD "IDEA", ASKING IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER IT "NEGLECT OF THE CHILDREN"

**

I cannot answer that since I did not see your "My Space" page or as the poster above states the history of the foster children. You may have compromised them in some way which would be "neglect".....

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I'm sorry that you are in so much trouble.

I think that the agency is right in saying that it is a very poor judgement to risk the privacy and the confidentiality of the kids. Many times, foster children are in need of more protection and privacy than the average family. Myspace is just full of security problems and --- creeps.

But honestly, I think that the agencies need to be clear with the Foster families from the beginning concerning their internet policies. Fostering kids is enough of a landmine to negotiate without having to stumble your way through unintentional mistakes like this.

I hope it works out for you.

 

[C.Ann]

Neglect? No.. But a HUGE violation of confidentiality.. My sister used to take in foster children and she wasn't allowed to discuss ANYTHING about them - other than their names (first names only) and ages - to anyone who wasn't directly involved with the foster system or systems that were put in place by the agency: schools; physicians; psychologists; etc..

Discussing anything about them - or their "cases" - on the internet is even worse - regardless of the safety/privacy systems you thought you had in place.. There isn't ANY place on the internet that can't be hacked into someway, somehow and the predicament you're in now proves that..

Whether or not your license will be revoked - or the children removed from your home - will depend entirely on if the fostering agency feels that they can place their trust in you again to keep "confidential information" confidential..

If the agency is as strict as the one my sister worked with, I'm afraid this may be a situation that you won't be able to correct..

 

[kristen821]

Most likely it was one of your "myspace friends" that reported you. Anyway, I wouldn't call it neglet at all. It shows you care about these kids. Maybe a bad judgement call but now you know and won't do it anymore. Hopefully everything will turn out ok for you.

 

[ilovejack02]

You breached a confidentiality agreement.
I do not consider "My Space" private, it is hacked site.

really I had no idea! How does that work?

 

[Feralpeg]

Unfortunately, many people think MySpace can be secure. Not true. Those who want to get in, will. I had a discussion today with kids in my class (6th and 7th grade) after I heard them talking about the fact that it was okay to put personal things on their MySpace pages because only their invited friends could see it.

 

[Va-bear]

Most likely it was one of your "myspace friends" that reported you. Anyway, I wouldn't call it neglet at all. It shows you care about these kids. Maybe a bad judgement call but now you know and won't do it anymore. Hopefully everything will turn out ok for you.

Yes, a relative who thinks it was wrong to post the pics or have online journaling. Or, a teen who's having fun hacking into MySpace sites and sees something they think is wrong (maybe a foster child themselves...) Could be so many people - and possibly they really thought they were helping.

Make all the gestrues that might help.. I would immediately get rid of the MySPace site - heck, I would probably get rid of internet at home, for now. Anything you can do to show the Social Workers you are not only sorry but will make sure it doesnt happend again.

I hope things go well for you and your family OP.

 

[mickeyfan2]

It was certainly not good judgement.