Would you be upset at this remark? I am really trying not to be

Disney1fan2002

<font color=red>Like OMG the TF is SOO psyched to
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My 3 children take swiiming lesson's at the local Y. My older two are in the same swim class, while my little guy takes a pre-school class. (small brag, he got his certificate yesterday, and because he is going into 1st grade, he moves to the youth class, she skipped a whole level for him. So, he is only 2 levels behind his brother and sister :cheer2: )

Anyway, my DS is not the best swimmer in the family. he can swim, but he tires out easy and he does not have good form, he is sloppy. Every level he moves into, he usually has to retake it once. My DD, 2 years younger, is a natural swimmer. She would of moved up last session, but I put her back in the same level, because the higher levels have a limited amount of classes, and there were none I could get her to, so by keeping her back, her brother caught up.

This session, a neighbor's boy was in the kids swim class. I was very surprised, because he doesn't even have the basic skills for the lower levels. He can't float on his back, and he refuses to put his face in the water for rotary breathing. He slows the class down tremendously, because he is always taking up the rear, and it takes him forever to swim the length of the pool, because he keeps having to stop and catch his breath. He can't dive, he belly flops each time.

My DS, has better skills than him, but IMO, not enough to move up. Since this was his 1st session at this level, I was fully expecting a certificate telling me to repeat the level. The teacher handed out the certificates last night. I drove the neighbor boy, so I got his certificate, all the kids are moving up. :confused3 :confused3 WOW!!! If I was surprised my kid is moving up, I was FLOORED to see him moving up.

Here is where it gets goods. See, when i saw all the certificates, and everyone was moving up, I decided that the teacher really did not care what level they were at, she moved everyone up, regardless. Lucky for my DS. When I dropped neighbor boy home, I told his mom and dad he was moving up. They were SHOCKED. So, I was like "yeah, I know, I mean my son moved up, so she must of just advanced everyone" (making sure I only showed her shock at my own child). What she says?

"Oh well, then I would of been really upset if my son didn't move up."

The way I heard it was, if MY son moved up and hers didn't, she would of been upset.

But, she could of meant being upset at the whole class advancing except hers. But I keep going back to her directing it at the fact that my DS is advancing.

I need to stop thinking about it, but was that out of line for her to say?
 
I don't think it was anything towards you at all. You said that basic you think the teacher moves everyone up regardless correct? She was simply sayig she would be ticked if that was the teacher's attitude and then she only held her son back.

Why would she say something negative about your kid?
 
As parents, we are very sensitive and protective about our children. I would think the remark was insensitive but not enough to let it bother me too much.
 

Beth76 said:
Well aren't you sort of thinking the same thing about her son? :confused3


If her son moved up and mine didn't, yes, you bet I would of been upset, would I say it to her? Not in a million years!
 
Beth76 said:
Well aren't you sort of thinking the same thing about her son? :confused3

That was my first thought, too...but then again, she had the sense not to say it to anyone...which is why it's good no one can read our thoughts...
 
no, I wouldn't be upset.

I mean if somebody called my kid ugly or told me they were a brat -- that would upset me. Making some vague comment that their swimming skills may or may not be quite good enough to move up to the next class of the summer YMCA swimming lessons ---

that is just conversation.
 
No, she wasn't referring to your son. Immediately upon reading your entire post and what she said about being upset if her son didn't move up, my first reaction was that she would have been upset if her son had been held back while EVERYONE else moved up. She meant nothing disparaging about your son. Period. Forget about it.
 
I think the mom knew her son was the not the best swimmer but your comment about the teacher moving all the kids up and advancing everyone is what prompted her comment. I do not think it was intended directly at your son. I wouldnt make an issue out of it.
 
Southern4sure said:
I think the mom knew her son was the not the best swimmer but your comment about the teacher moving all the kids up and advancing everyone is what prompted her comment. I do not think it was intended directly at your son. I wouldnt make an issue out of it.
::yes:: What she said.
 
I would just assume that she meant she would have felt bad for HER son if he had been the only one not to move up, even though you said she was shocked that they actually DID move her son up.

I know what you mean, though. I'm the type of person who can stress out for days over a comment that someone may say to me, or especially about my kids, that I might not be sure how it was meant. I can replay conversations over and over in my head trying to figure out if I'm taking things the way they were intended. It's hard for me sometimes to just let something go, but I'm working on it! :)
 
Thanks everyone. I know she could of meant being upset that the class advanced, but I guess knowing my son is one that should not of advanced, made me a little sensitive to the remark. I will let it go. :sunny:
 
I am more shocked that the YMCA is disregarding their own standards and letting kids move up. Our Y is very strict they don't care if you ever move up if you don't pass the standards you stay. The only move they will make is once you get into school they move you from the preschool classes to the beginner class with elementary kids. If you can't put your face in the water they would still be in the pre-beginner! I'd call the aquatic director and ask about the standards because they are not doing any of the kids any favors moving them up if they don't deserve it - talk about dangerous false confidence that could get someone drowned!


I think you are reading something in her statement that isn't there I think she meant the WHOLE class not your son.
 
Hannathy said:
I am more shocked that the YMCA is disregarding their own standards and letting kids move up. Our Y is very strict they don't care if you ever move up if you don't pass the standards you stay. The only move they will make is once you get into school they move you from the preschool classes to the beginner class with elementary kids. If you can't put your face in the water they would still be in the pre-beginner! I'd call the aquatic director and ask about the standards because they are not doing any of the kids any favors moving them up if they don't deserve it - talk about dangerous false confidence that could get someone drowned!


I think you are reading something in her statement that isn't there I think she meant the WHOLE class not your son.

I was really surprised myself, and have thought of mentioning it to the people in charge, that this swim instructor really is not going by the standards. But, my son is THRILLED he is moving up without having to repeat the level. He is extremely sensitive, and if I screw this up, and he has to stay back, it would devastate him.

In the new level, if he is really not keeping up, and it is disrupting the class, I may move him back down. But, he is getting better and better with each level, so he may surprise me.
 
Southern4sure said:
I think the mom knew her son was the not the best swimmer but your comment about the teacher moving all the kids up and advancing everyone is what prompted her comment. I do not think it was intended directly at your son. I wouldnt make an issue out of it.

Yep, I also agree. Dont worry about it! :)
 
I don't think she meant it personally, but I can see how you might have taken it that way. Good luck to your son at the next level!
 
I agree with the others. You said "everyone" so she was saying that she would have been upset if "everyone" was moved up regardless of skill level - except her son.
 


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