Would You Be Offended?

[CamColt]

As some of you know, MIL was recently unfairly mad at me, and treated me really crappy. I got no Christmas or Birthday gift from her. After a big blow out about the whole situation with DH, she realized she was wrong and apologized to him. So, DH just went to visit her and came home with a Christmas & Birthday(combined) card for "Kathy". My name is Katie!!!
So my questions are 1) Do you think this is just a token gift or is it sincere, and 2)Does the wrong name mean anything? I really dont know what to think about it. I do think its "the thought that counts", but Im not sure what her thought was here. What do you think?

 

[LucyStorm]

My questions would be: How long has she known you? Does she have all her faculties (meaning is there any signs of dementia)? How much contact has she had with you?

I would find it a little hard to believe that she can't remember her own son's wife's name unless there was some indication of a memory problem or you are newly married and she hasn't had much contact with you.

 

[binny]

yeah it would bother me too.

I swear we have the same MIL lol

to be honest after years of " praying through it" I have decided that unless I have to deal with her face to face I try to not even think about her.

That may sound horrible but truthfully if you knew her, it saves everyones sanity.


Im sorry she is like that to you you dont deserve that kind of treatment!

 

[SonjaB]

I was going to give you my opinion, then remembered I'm the girl who's own grandmother calls her "Sondra"......my name is Sonja. So I may be the wrong person to ask, LOLLL.

 

[CamColt]

Shes definitely not the brightest bulb on the tree, and trying to explain something to her is difficult, but she knows my name. Ive known DH for 9 years (today actually), and weve been married for 7 1/2. Im sure my name has been mentioned(not so nicely) many times over the past couple months. I will admit when she calls our answering machine she usually calls me Kerrie (her other DIL, so that is understandable to get confused), but then says 'I mean Katie"

I would like to think this is a sincere gift, but I have hard time with that.

Binny, I think you have the right idea for dealing with people like this.

LOL, Sondra!

 

[RitaZ.]

I think that Bonnie has brought up some valid points.

I don't know if I would be offended by this. I don't say that because of your expectations of your MIL, but based on my own experience with my MIL. I would have been happy if my MIL had apologized for anything and given me a present for Christmas and my birthday. She has been gone now for 4 years and we never really got along. I expected to have a special relationship with her, but it wasn't meant to be.

I just have to remember the things that she did to me and make sure that I don't do the same to any future DILs.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd probably consider the source and try to let it roll off my back. The only person you really hurt by having animosity between you and his mother is your husband.

 

[Sonya]

I'd accept if for what it is, don't let her see it bothers you, but myself I wouldn't forget it and think it's a peace offering.

Sonja, do we have the same grandmother? Mine used to call me Sondra too!

 

[snowwhitemom]

No answers here...just wanted to let you know I feel that MIL pain too.

 

[lisajl]

My MIL does not like me...she tolerates me.
The first time we had an argument...my wedding day. It has gone downhill ever since.

I would accept the gift and move on. Life is too short really to worry about this stuff.

I quit worrying about my MIL about 2 years ago. We had a heart to heart long distance phone call.

I asked her why she thought everything was about her.
My DH and I have our own problems and we did not need her butting in, or making assumptions. It has been better, but she still does not really like me.

This past Christmas Day, she suffered a heart attack. We were at my DH's niece's house for Christmas. I made my husband go to the hospital with his two sisters that were there, and his father.
He did not want to go. I visited his mom with him and our oldest child. She seemed quite shocked that I cared. I do care for her. She is my DH's mother. I just don't like her all the time.

Like I said, life is short. Accept it, whatever the gift, and move on.

BTW...this Christmas my MIL gave a wonderful gift. No, not the heart attack...I would not wish that on anyone...she gave all us girls (her daughters and I) a bracelet with our kids birthstones in it. Very thoughtful.

Lisajl

 

[Serena]

I think you need to stop wasting your time and emotions on this. Just accept the gift, accept that she "can't" remember your name and go on with more enjoyable things.

 

[Mskanga]

Why didn't she apologize to you too ? If she has all her faculties , I say getting the wrong name is just plain pushing buttons. I know I would be very angry if she did that to me.
My inlaws were not very nice at times either, but I guess they realized towards the last two years that they had to make up for the damage, I went along with it for my children's sake but I can tell you one thing and I really hate saying this, they passed last year and I didn't feel what I should have felt for a relative. I'm sorry but I can't help it , my FIL was quite selfish.
Good luck, these things are not fun!