Would you allow your daughters to be watched by a man?

[Aidensmom]

I only have a son, but if he was a girl, my answer would be the same.

It depends on how well I know the PERSON, male or female, that would be doing the watching. If it was someone I trusted, wouldn't matter if they were male or female.

Just an interesting note though, doesn't most child molestation occur by someone well known by the child? (At least that is what I have always heard.)

 

[Miss Jasmine]

What a sad thread
My answer would be yes - if I know the man. However I would have the same answer for a woman. I wouldn't leave my children w/just anyone off the street regardless of gender. But I would have no problem with the men in my life watching my children.

~Amanda

I agree on all accounts.

Maybe a thread should be started about whether parents would trust their teenage sons with female teaches, if people want to be so paranoid.

 

[va32h]

Yes, I would. I wouldn't pull any trench-coated stranger off the street and ask him to babysit, but yes I would allow my daughters to be babysat by a male that we knew and trusted. Of course, many pedophiles make a point of making themselves known and trusted don't they?

It's a very tough call. I'd like to think I am a good enough judge of people to separate the good from the bad. If I had any reservations at all, I wouldn't do it. It would have to be a situation where I knew the person for a long time, had spent a great deal of time with them.

On 2 side notes: I find it odd that parents would be so worried about just their daughters - molesters have male victims too. And feeling safer because the wife is home is silly also. How many girls have been molested by their own fathers, with their mothers either not knowing, or turning a blind eye?

 

[CEDmom]

I wouldn't let just any man be alone with my DD any more than I would let any woman. If I felt comfortable with the person after checking them out and they bonded with my child I honestly wouldn't care about their gender anymore than I'd care about their race, enthnicity or religion.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I don't seek out male babysitters..but DD has been watched by men.

In general---nobody watches my girls that I do not trust.

Anybody touches my child will die.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

Yes - I'd let man watch my children (and I do often). I agree that there is discrimination going on.

My Dad and I had an interesting conversation the other day. He watches my boys (9 & 15 all of the time). My younger DS has a friend that invites himself over constantly - he has a rough family life and at first we didn't mind having him over. The past year or so it has become an issue because he seems to just want to come over to raid the refridgerator or have my Dad take him to Burger King. He even started to invite his two sisters along if Dad agreed to take them after school. So my Dad mentioned the other day that he will no longer be taking this boy ANYWHERE. He's concerned that if he ever is alone with the boy, he might make accusations against my Dad.

It's sad really - my Dad is the nicest, sweetest man and really just wanted to help out this family. But the more that he has tried to help the more they try to "mooch" off of him and now he feels that they might try to target us or him to get money from us. I'm hoping that DS will make some new friends at school this year....

 

[disneymom3]

In general, yes I would, but these circumstances are changing. DD is just 9 and would not be comfortable at this point with a teenaged babysitter who was a boy. My nephew, my BIL and a friend of our family have all watched my kids in the past. They are with their grandpa allllll the time. I think male daycare providers are great and that we need more of them. However, I need to keep DDs perspective in mind. Now, she has been at friend's houses before and only the dad was home and I have no problem with that. However, one friend's parents just got divorced, the kids live with dad still adn he gives me the creeps so, no she can't go over there. She has a friend who's mom I don't trust either, so she can't go to their house either. So, it's not a gender thing, as others have said, I need to trust whoever the person is that is watching my child, male or female.

 

[Pop Daddy]

no, I just wouldnt feel comfortable with it

 

[Tjaleks]

I guess I never actually answered your question. Yes, I wouldn't hesitate having a man or teen age boy watching my children. I would of course have to know him, trust him, and be comfortable with him in my home. One of my boys favorite day care teachers of all time was a man. They still talk about him all the time. He was even suppose to baby sit for me once, but found out we have a big dog. He was scared of my 90lb baby.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

Depends. My girl's Godfather or one of my close male friends, absolutely. Anyone I didnt know very well, no way. I also discourage DH from being the only adult at home if DDs have friends over - there is just too much that could be said falsely that I dont want to have to worry about.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

Probably would not (have 2 DDs ages 7 and 9). There are too many potential problems and how often do you see people on TV who thought they knew someone...

 

[DoeWDW]

I would definitely let a male watch my kids if I knew him well, just as I would allow a female to watch my kids.

However, in our house we've made it a point to never let our kids have friends over when just DH is home without me there. Also he refuses to drive any kids anywhere without one of our kids and/or me in the car. We've seen too many false accusations and he doesn't want to put himself in a position to be a target.

Of course, DH isn't as comfortable dealing with the kids and their friends as I am and he prefers that I handle those types of things.

 

[Kermit]

I'd let my dad watch my kids, but right at this point, I can't think of any other man who I'd let watch my kids. It's not just that I think they'd do something bad to my kids, but my kids are really young right now (1 and 2), and I'm very particular about who they can stay with since young children are very hard to watch. They're constantly trying to do things that are dangerous, and it takes a person who's really in tune with kids to be able to predict what they're thinking and what they might do next. I don't know any men who fit that description.

 

[Crankyshank]

I agree - this is a really sad thread

I would absolutely let my child be watched by a man provided he met my babysitter criteria. In fact I all ready have a babysitter lined up for my future child(ren) and not only is he a man - he's a gay man! oh the horrors!

 

[va32h]

I called dh at work and asked him how he would feel if our daughter had friends whose parents would only let them come over if I was also at home.

He said "I would feel like they were saying 'we think you might be a child molester, but that you won't do it if your wife is there'".

 

[Pooh Girl 71]

This is sad. Women can abuse and molest children as well.

I'd let man or woman that I trusted watch my child.

 

[Papa Deuce]

This is sad. Women can abuse and molest children as well.

I'd let man or woman that I trusted watch my child.

They sure can. But all I know is that I don't even want to put myself in a potentially bad position. I really am on edge when the girls next door want to come over without my wife in the house, or, at the very least, another adult.

So, there might be 3 -4 men in total that I would let watch my kids upon thinking further, but at least 15 women.

 

[jgmklmhem]

Just looking at some statistics it is said that kids are more likely to be abused by women than men (for 2002 it was a 58% to 42% difference). 80% of all perps were parents. Other relatives were 7%. Unmarried partners to the parent were 3% and the rest were others about 10%.

 

[Tigger_Magic]

They sure can. But all I know is that I don't even want to put myself in a potentially bad position. I really am on edge when the girls next door want to come over without my wife in the house, or, at the very least, another adult.

Ditto for me... If my DDs must have their friends over and mom is not home, we are all outside on the front lawn in full sight of the entire neighborhood. Even then I'll call another mom or dad and ask them to join us in the yard -- you can never be too careful these days.

 

[aprilgail2]

I agree on all accounts.

Maybe a thread should be started about whether parents would trust their teenage sons with female teaches, if people want to be so paranoid.

We have the opposite problem in my daughters school...,many of the parents of girls (3rd-5th have one male teacher each grade) do not want their child to have a male teacher teaching them...the make sure to request that they do not get assigned to the male teacher even though a few are supposed to be very good teachers.
There are very few males I would leave my daughter with for child care...one is my brother and the other is a neighbor that I know very well.