Would u let the mom know your kid got the wrong thank you?

[roliepolieoliefan]

My DD (K) was invited to a birthday party for a girl in her class. She really likes American Girl dolls so we got her a $25.00 gift card for American girl.

DD brought the thank you home today and it lists on it, thank you for something not even close to what DD got the little girl. I know its the thought that counts , blah blah blah, but we see this family alot. We have mutual friends plus they do alot of other activites together. The gifst that was listed is not even close money wise or in IMOP thought wise.

I was going to send an email saying something like thx for the thank you , I know it was crazy at the party and stuff must have got mixed up because "DD' got your daughter the AG gift card.

Thoughts?

 

[brockash]

My DD (K) was invited to a birthday party for a girl in her class. She really likes American Girl dolls so we got her a $25.00 gift card for American girl.

DD brought the thank you home today and it lists on it, thank you for something not even close to what DD got the little girl. I know its the thought that counts , blah blah blah, but we see this family alot. We have mutual friends plus they do alot of other activites together. The gifst that was listed is not even close money wise or in IMOP thought wise.

I was going to send an email saying something like thx for the thank you , I know it was crazy at the party and stuff must have got mixed up because "DD' got your daughter the AG gift card.

Thoughts?

I personally wouldn't, but I hate any kind of akward situation or a situation that has the potential to be akward. If you are going to say something, I think what you wrote is a nice way of saying it, and doesn't come off rude, or like you're upset or anything, so if you are going to tell her; I'd say that's the way to go.

 

[wildeflowers]

No, I would not. Obviously the cards just got mixed up. She probably is not sure who gave which give. I think you need to objectively think about your reasons for wishing to do so, because no matter what your motives, it's going to look like the only reason you are telling her is to get "credit" for giving a better gift than another child.

As hard as I tried, at my daughter's b-day party, the cards got shuffled and I have a few that I was clueless as to which gift they went with. If someone came up to me and told me that I got it wrong, I would be mortified and I wouldn't think too highly of that person's manners. The polite thing to do in this case is to say nothing.

 

[dizneechic]

For me, I would just let it go. You bought the child a gift that yes you put thought into and spent maybe more than you may have otherwise, but you chose to do that and I'm sure weren't expecting anything in return. Sure being acknowledged with a thank you is great and much appreciated since that courtesy seems to be going the way of the dinosaur, but sometimes things get crazy and mixed up and mistakes can happen in the chaos of a party/gifts. To point that out because the thank you card was wrong seems like your looking for something beyond the thank you attempt. I would chalk it up as a mistake on the parents behalf but wouldn't point it out and just chuckle knowing that and move on.

For me, if I was told that I messed up on the thank you card, I would fester over if I messed up on one, or was I off on every single one because I messed up on a line when writing things down. Needless to say it would completely stress me out and I would obsess until I checked I checked with every parent, hence my thought on leave well enough alone and have a good chuckle to yourself.

 

[kimgg]

I would only say something if I was VERY close with the mother (probably like a sister or something). That's me. I wouldn't want it to look like I'm pushing for "credit" for giving a better gift than someone else. You have to do what you feel comfortable with. Different people will take it different ways.

I mean really, do you remember what everybody got your kid a year afterwards?? Does it really matter? To some people it does, but not to me. But again, that's just me. Do what you feel comfortable with. I am sure others will advise you differently so in some ways there may be no real
"right" or "wrong" answer. Again, just my 2 cents.

And for what it is worth, I would feel bad that she thought that I gave her something less expensive, but not to the point I would correct her about it. And I have gotten a thank you for the wrong gift but never considered correcting them about it. Again, in the big picture, it would not be worth the possible "awkardness" that correcting her would cause.

Take care!

 

[karemore]

I would mention it. Maybe the gift card got lost in the shuffle or something. I'd say you got the thank you and you want to make sure the AG gift card didn't get lost.

 

[dizneechic]

I just wanted to add in, if you want to subtly *hint* that you got her the card, I would probably ask in a few weeks time when your together with the family (since you mention you see them a lot) if she was able to pick something special out with her AG gift card from her birthday. I wouldn't imply that you got it, but it may elicit a 2nd thank you from the mom or child specifically as they tell you about their experience spending it. I know after birthdays and thank yous are sent I don't remember who got what for my kids and if someone asked me about a gift (for example we got 3 create your own story books at my dd's birthday) I would assume they got it for her and would share our experience with it. Just a thought.

 

[brymolmom]

If it was someone I'm pretty close with and see often - I would likely mention it. Something like 'Very CUTE thank you cards that little Sally sent...I just hope she was confused and realized the AG gift card was from us! Cuz that's what we thought she would like best.'

If it was someone I don't know well - I wouldn't do it.

 

[LuLuO]

I wouldn't say anything. I agree with PP that it is all about the big picture and not worth the akwardness. Kids' birthday parties are often chaotic and cards get messed up with the gifts or the wrong name gets put on the Thank You cards. It happens. I'd just forget it and move on.

 

[mamaLori05]

I don't know that I would bring up the thank-you per say, but the next time I saw her I might say something like, "so did (insert name) have fun shopping with her AG GC? (insert dd's name) was sooo excited to give that to (insert b-day girls name) that she could hardly sleep the night before the party. It was too cute."

 

[QVCshopper]

I actually mixed up two of my wedding thank you notes. So, my DH's aunt got us something really expensive, and I thanked her for a chip and dip--she let me know, and we thought it was funny. I also left space for DH to sign and then mailed half of them out with just my name. But, I sent them out within a few weeks. LOL!

So, it happens. Maybe mention it if you're close--otherwise I'd let it go.

 

[Hannathy]

I would mention it. Maybe the gift card got lost in the shuffle or something. I'd say you got the thank you and you want to make sure the AG gift card didn't get lost.

I would say this and add I want to make sure the little girl who did get you these gifts gets her thank you note. I wouldn't want her to not get thanked for her gift in case the gift card got lost and her gift was attached to my DD.

Because think about it if it was enough of a mix up some little girl somewhere could be not getting a thank you note because your DD got it by mistake.

I don't see that it is a big deal to just say something.

 

[daisyduck123]

I would just wait & in the near future (soccer game, class party, whatever) casually ask, "So did Mary pick out something fun with the AG gift card yet?"

 

[seashoreCM]

Say nothing for now.

If they come to you trying to ferret out a gift error that another parent broached the subject on, then you can, provided you can get it in smoothly and not edgewise, mention your gift was the gift card.

(Only for those with Ph.D.'s in psychology)
Weeks or months later, should you get multiple subtle hints or vibes (or a few obvious ones) that DD gave something vastly inferior, then start poking and nitpicking at the hints as hints but still not mentioning anything about the gift card. It would be the other child's parent or friends who must first mention the gift error, if any, in response to your trying to dig and dredge under their hints, and then you come out and say you gave something different i.e. the gift card.

Example: Three or more times when you meet in the grocery store or PTA meeting, the other parent seems to act obviously differently and more distant. Your comment: "You seem to be giving me a cold shoulder. What gives?"

 

[DisneyGrandParents]

Don't "*hint*" at anything. Either say it outright right or don't bother at all.

I can't stand when people complain about hints not being taken/received.

Life is not a guessing game; say what you mean. I am sure you will find, if you are close to this family, a way to make a joke out of it or not be offensive with it.

But regardless, say it forthright. No messing around with *hints*.

 

[shoney]

I don't see anything wrong with mentioning it when you see the mom. Just say thanks for the thank you, but we actually gave her a gift card to .... Then you could lighten it up with I am sure things were hectic.

It reminds me of a party my son went to last year. I was going out and left him with grandma and a 20 dollar bill and a card to fill out. A friends mother came and picked him up to bring him to the party. It was just a classmate...not a "friends" party. When I got the thank you card...it was thanking me for my very generous gift of $45.00....YIKES! I still don't know if what happened..... I just let it go!

My mom never saw him put the money in...????

 

[EKW]

Nope, I've been in that situation and just let it go. It doesn't really matter...unless the family is the type who keeps track of how much people spend on gifts, and, in that case, I'd strongly encourage my kid to make friends with a better class of people (people who aren't money obsessed)

The only time I've ever corrected a thank you note is when a bride wrote to thank me for the lovely cookie jar. What I'd given her was a bean pot, lol! I think it was generational...she must have been thinking, "What a tiny, ugly cookie jar this is!" rofl!

In that case I mentioned the situation to her mom, who is a friend, and asked my friend to comment on what a lovely bean pot it was...although, if someone wants to keep cookies in a 1 quart hand thrown terra cotta bean pot, I guess they're welcome to do so!

 

[EKW]

I should add: here's how I avoid that situation: after the birthday boy opens his present, I take a picture of him holding it up and have the friend who gave it stand next to him.

When it's time for thank-you's, there's no way to be confused about who gave what. And, I include a copy of the photo with the thank-you card, so every child has a picture of the party as a keepsake.

 

[klacey1]

I would just wait & in the near future (soccer game, class party, whatever) casually ask, "So did Mary pick out something fun with the AG gift card yet?"

This is exactly what I would do.

 

[bwilcox]

The only reason I would be concerned that the mom knows is to make sure the gift card didn't get lost. It might have gotten stuffed in one of the cards and is just sitting around somewhere.