Would this upset you?

[redshoes]

I have a good friend who's husband has started a new job as a financial planner. I'm not clear how this position works, only that his salary is commissioned based only. I told my friend that I was happy for her husband and that I hope that he is successful in his new direction but that I was not looking for help in the financial department at this time in my life. In reality, I don't like to discuss my finances with my friends- I don't think its any of their business how much money we make, invest, etc. So, tonight I get a phone call from her husband. He wants 15 minutes of my time and he promises me that he won't ask me again. I felt like I was put on the spot, so instead of being brave I said, "okay". I feel like my friend is using our friendship, especially after I told her I was not interested in what her husband was offering. I hate when I feel used by my friends. Am I out of line here, should I just give the guy a chance. I honestly have no intentions of using his services and I feel like I'm wasting his time, but maybe I'm wrong. Opinions?

 

[DVC Sadie]

Your friend was out of line, not you.

I never mix business (financials) with friends or relatives.

 

[lovmy2girls]

If you already told her NO, then yes he was out of line. If you go ahead and talk to him, you don't have to discuss money amounts you could just hear what he has to say. Thats IF you go. Good luck.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have been dealing with a similar situation. For months, it has been eating at me. I am not close friends with this man but he is in my SS class at church. He is trustworthy and all that but I don't feel comfortable with the situation.
I am not a person who mixes "business with pleasure" very well. I don't even do my best friends hair!

 

[lillygator]

totally out of line...

 

[Stacerita]

That would totally irk me. I would tell him that you aren't interested and you dont want to waste his time. Even if he says its only 15 mins. Make sure he knows before hand that you have no interest as all. And although it may seem like he is using the friendship, I think it may just be that he needs to start somewhere, and where better than with your friends. Still, I would really be bothered talking about money with a friend like that.

 

[luvdzne]

My DH used to work with someone that quit to be a financial planner. He used to call the house and DH and work telling him how much he could help us He had to finally tell the guy to get lost he just wouldn't take a hint .

 

[Tiggeroo]

he could be the best financial planner in the world and I could have a great income that i'm careful with. I wouldn't want to discuss my income with somebody I see on a regular basis. I feel pretty strongly about this and it has come up before for me too. I've caved and listend to presentations and i've stood firm and said no. I always feel better when I say no in the long run but it's hard for me to do.

 

[Cindyluwho]

It's his job to make the offer, even if you told the wife "no". But you are perfectly within your right to say "no thank you" to him. In fact I would call him back and explain to him that you don't like to do business with friends. I'm in Real Estate and I always let my friends know that I respect their feelings on this issue. Call him back and let him know. And if you respect him and think he'll do a good job then offer to refer anyone you might know that's looking for a financial advisor.

 

[Beth76]

I understand that you don't want him to be your financial planner. I wouldn't do it either. But I wouldn't be upset for him asking. He may not know that you already told his wife no. If I were you I would call back and say "I'm not really comfortable with a friend planning my finances. No offense, yada yada yada. I don't want to waste your time." If he pushes, then I would be upset.

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

It's his job to make the offer, even if you told the wife "no". But you are perfectly within your right to say "no thank you" to him. In fact I would call him back and explain to him that you don't like to do business with friends. I'm in Real Estate and I always let my friends know that I respect their feelings on this issue. Call him back and let him know. And if you respect him and think he'll do a good job then offer to refer anyone you might know that's looking for a financial advisor.

I have to ask what is your book is your sig about? Sorry to hijack the thread but I had to ask!

 

[Meezers]

If anyone wants 15 minutes of my time...with the exception of close friends and SOME family....they pay for it...sorry...in my world I have been known to bill the doctor for making me sit in the waiting room. This is YOUR time....he is working....just cancel the whole thing!

 

[Cindyluwho]

I have to ask what is your book is your sig about? Sorry to hijack the thread but I had to ask!

Think "The First Wives Club" meets "Dirty Harry". It's a mainstream thriller. We just published a couple of weeks ago and are having our first signing next Wednesday. I'm beyond excited.
Apologies OP, back to topic at hand!

 

[disykat]

I'd be irritated. Don't let your momentary lapse put you both in an uncomfortable position. Call him back and cancel. Tell him the same thing you told his wife.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Agree with the masses. Pick up the phone and cancel.

 

[SplshMtn99]

My SIL got into this work once....and said she needed to practice, so could she talk to us. She was living with us at the time --- because her financial life was a mess.

Anyway, I let her practice with us. I MADE UP ALL THE INFO DH & I TOLD HER.

Then she got mad at us for not wanting to use her as a planner. I told her it was all made up & reminded her she said she needed "practice", not "a client".

Another time, an ex-co-worker cornered me with same thing. We just needed to listen....blah, blah, blah. When she & her DH arrived, I guess one of my anxiety attacks kicked in or something, because "sitting & listening" was about the LAST thing I could handle at the moment. I must have gotten up so many times to use the bathroom, that they just excused themselves & left since they could tell I wasn't interested.

 

[miss missy]

Sounds like someone making you taste something they "just know you'll love." Just say no thanks, I don't wanna mix friendship and finances.. thanks.. and be done with it.

 

[poohandwendy]

I would just call him back and tell him that you are not comfortable mixing your finances with friendship, but you would be more than glad to take a few of his business cards and pass them along to people you think may be interested. Then leave it at that. If he presses the issue, just keep saying, "no thanks'.

I would not be upset with him unless he pushed the issue after I told him no.

 

[froglady]

We have a dear friend who is in the investments dept of a MAJOR financial institution, but we never discuss finances with him. (unless it's too complain about property taxes or our children's education expenses)

 

[auntpolly]

Once a friend's son started selling insurance and we told him we didn't need any, but if he wanted to practice his pitch on us he could. I don't know if he really thought he might sell us some or not, but he didn't and that was that. It was a giant waste of our time and maybe of his, but he said he needed practice.

I wouldn't give the person any financial info if I were you. Tell him if he just wants to role play for practice, you'd be happy, but you don't want to mix friendship with business. (they've probably told him to start bothering his friends -- it probably isn't a very reputable company if this is the case and it probably won't last anyway).