Would this bother you?

[Aisling]

In light of all the other stuff you've given them (I thought it was just a few bags of clothes), and in light of the fact that you've already completed the transaction and are now feeling taken advantage of, I think in the future (if this were me) she would not longer be the beneficiary of any more handouts.

I agree with this.

 

[brockash]

Not at all, honestly I don't really get what there is to be upset about. Are you upset that you didn't receive something for free? I don't know, to me, regardless as to how (whether she was given and especially if she bought it) she received the table, bottom line is it's hers, not yours. Sure, it'd be great if she wanted to just give it to you for nothing, but I don't think she should be expected to just because she's your friend And you didn't have to buy it from her. And I agree, with a pp, that said if this is bothering you, I wouldn't donate things to her any longer, give it to someone else or goodwill.

 

[mickeyboat]

I think it might bother me and I would probably find another home for my hand-me-downs.

On the other hand sometimes people are glad to get rid of their kids' stuff without much fuss, and use their friends as a dumping ground for all the crap they can't get rid of easily. I think baby stuff falls into this category, whereas a table might not.

 

[Chipmunk89]

Thanks for all the positive feedback!

I wouldn't be surprised to find that she's been selling the free stuff you gave her if she doesn't need it.

I hadn't even thought about that. I would hope she would give the stuff to others, and not sell the stuff.

Gifts must be given/received without strings attached.

Honestly, I wouldn't let this table thing ruin your friendship.
And, you did, after all, agree to the $50.00 sale.

Of course, if your friend is a 'taker' and you feel that this is a one side friendship, and that you are being taken advantage of in other situations... that would be a different story. I just don't think this one table situation is enough to come to that kind of a judgement.

And you're right, the gifts were without strings. And I would not let it ruin a friendship.
I guess I was just reflecting on this situation because of some other incidents that have occured recently.

 

[manning]

Salvation Army will be glad to get the cloths etc. and you can write it off on your taxes.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Yes, it would DEFINITELY bother me. And no way would I have even paid $50 for the table, either. I pass on what I can to people who can use them, and gladly accept hand me downs that we can use. I don't think I've ever actually sold a single thing.

Honestly, I'm pretty suprised by most of the responses. I can't believe most people would have the nerve to charge a friend who had been so generous.

 

[BelleWDW]

My SIL would return every single gift i gave her kids.
Not because it was a duplicate either
She'd get the cash and put in their bank

She is also a professional Garage sales person-I'd never give her anything-she's just sell it.

I bet your "friend" sold lots you gave her. because you have given her substantion things-It was pretty low to charge you for the table, IMO

 

[holycow]

yes, it would bother me.

You sound like a giving person. I would find someone else who would benefit from your kindness.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Salvation Army will be glad to get the cloths etc. and you can write it off on your taxes.

Exactly. That's what we do. I'm well past the baby clothes stage, but what we get rid of (our clothes, old furniture, etc), we take to the Salvation Army. I would never hold a yard sale or sell on Ebay (too much of a bother for us), so I get some compensation by reducing taxes. Some things are more appropriate to get rid of through Freecycle, so no financial benefit to us, and that's fine too...just want to get rid of it. And I am actually going to give selling something on Craigslist a shot. If there was someone I knew who really needed my old stuff, I'd give it to them.

Yes, it would DEFINITELY bother me. And no way would I have even paid $50 for the table, either. I pass on what I can to people who can use them, and gladly accept hand me downs that we can use. I don't think I've ever actually sold a single thing.

Honestly, I'm pretty suprised by most of the responses. I can't believe most people would have the nerve to charge a friend who had been so generous.

I'm surprised by some of the responses too. It's not about the $50, it's about the message it's sending...the lack of gratitude to the OP.

My mom lived next door to a couple with two young children, and occasionally they'd ask my mom to babysit, for free, which was fine...she wasn't looking to make a few bucks, liked the family a lot, and had the time. One child was sickly, and on a couple of occasions was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night, and they called my mother in the middle of the night to stay with the other child. No problem...mom was happy to do it. Then, when I was pregnant with my first child, this woman was getting rid of all her baby stuff, at a yard sale. I didn't go to the yard sale, didn't even occur to me that she should give me anything. After the yard sale, she hadn't sold the changing table, and asked my mother if I might like to buy it for $15. My mother was furious (not in the neighbor's presence, but mine) that she didn't just give me the changing table as a favor to my mother. The changing table was FILTHY and needed repairs, but the NEW changing table I wanted was something like $300 and we just couldn't swing it at the time. So I paid the $15 (I might have haggled with someone I didn't know), and spent hours cleaning (pregnant and gagging all the way) and fixing that thing up, and I actually loved it. (I think I still have it! Note to self...it's gotta go!) It was hers to sell, and it was up to me to decide if I wanted it, but honestly...in the same situation, I'd be saying "You've done so much for me, if your daughter wants it, here ya go."

 

[Chipmunk89]

It's not about the $50, it's about the message it's sending...the lack of gratitude to the OP.

Thank you. It's exactly how I felt. It wasn't the money, it was the message that bothered me.

 

[golfgal]

Until you listed their jobs I would have sworn you were talking about my sister. When our kids were babies she came up with the idea that she would buy my DD some clothes on occasion since I would be handing them down to her kids. Great. She bought one pair of wind pants on sale for $5 back when DD14 was about 4. I still handed the clothes down for several years. She would make comments on various outfits DD had on saying "oh, I can't wait to get this outfit", etc. One day she was telling me that she made over $600 at a garage sale, mostly from selling the clothes and other kid stuff we passed down to her. She certainly didn't offer to give us any of that money. I haven't given her a thing since.

Oh, and we had given her an upright freezer that we had because in our last house they left one that was bigger. About a year ago she called to complain because the freezer died and she was upset with me about that-it lasted them about 3 years and we gave it to them for FREE--give me a break. This is the same sister that wants us to not celebrate Christmas on Christmas so we can wait for them while they have having their Christmas celebration elsewhere .