Would it bug you???

[beth_cam]

I came home tonight at 8:00 from the ball field. 2 filthy kids (8 and 6) need baths and a snack (skimped on dinner rushing to the field) ensuring that they were very very late for their normal 8:00 bedtime. I pull up and have to beep my horn to get a group of 6 kids to get their bikes and baseball gloves out of my driveway so that I could pull in. The two that were throwing/batting a ball in my front yard just watched me pull in.

my gripes -
(1) you don't play in someone else's yard without the owners permission, and honestly I think it is just plain rude to let your children play in someone's yard when their own children aren't playing with them (I have had the children ask if they could play in our yard when I said my dd can't come out and told them no)
(2) their bikes were blocking the driveway and it took my blowing the horn to get them to move them.
(3 & 4) when I pulled in they moved the bikes but made no move to actually leave my yard - uhm it's 8:00 we are going to bed my kids wont be playing now. I told them it was fine to play in my yard when my kids were playing with them but otherwise they couldn't play in my yard. This was met with blank stares and no comment or movement. So I asked if they heard me and they packed up and left...still nothing said...although I guess that's better than them arguing with me.
(5) The two that were throwing/batting in my front yard....well maybe your yard is big enough for that but mine isnt...there is a window right there. I have let my dd hit a few times in that stretch of they yard but i was throwing and knew it was my own responsibility if I put the ball throught the window, as well as my dd was hitting toward the street not the house.
(6) I'd be willing to bet they aren't allowed to do this in their own yards since theirs are much smaller than mine - so I guess then it is okay to find the biggest yard close to you and go play in it....just cause they have a kid too??????
I'm at a loss on this one, my husband thinks I shouldn't be upset. But I'd wear my dd's little rear end out for doing the same. Going in someone else's yard is an absolute no no. These kids (ages 6-9) roam the neighborhood (a total of 3 small streets) all afternoon with very little parent interaction. I don't let my kid do that. Are these the kind of things I'm supposed to let my kid do.

 

[Lady V]

Actually, I would be really irratated and also nervous. I used to work for State Farm and if one of those kids gets hurt in your yard ,(even though they don't have your permission to be there), you will be liable for all damages. So, what I would do is go make all their parents sign a waiver sheet-i bet they stay out of our yard then. good luck.

 

[beth_cam]

I really don't mind being the neighborhood mean mama...but again things like waivers would guarentee my kids had no friends either...kwim? I couldn't wait to be in a neighborhood with lots of kids. I guess I should have been careful what I wished for. But I do have to be careful because the kids already taunt my dd since I wont let her run around the way they do and since we are so busy that she often can't come out to play.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

Yes, it would bug me. I think it's beyond rude. The kids may not know or understand that, but where were their parents and why didn't they say something? I'd kick my kids butts if I looked out my door or window and saw them playing on a neighbors lawn-when they weren't playing with the neighbor's kid. Don't think you are wrong at all for any of your feelings. I would worry about damage too-I've already had the kids next door playing softball and they hit the ball right into my car window. Thank heavens that my window was open! Think my neighbor said anything to her kids though? NOPE! Amazing! She'd probably also be the first one to sue me if her kids were in my yard (without my permission) and got hurt...but then that is always the way.

I hear you...you don't mind being the meanie, but you don't want your kids to be alienated or singled out either. Hard line to walk.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm with your husband. We have kids all over the various yards once the weather gets nice. And quite frankly how much parental interaction do 8 and 9 yr old really need to play? Thats what is wrong with kids now there is too much parental interaction. In the summer my DS is out all day going back and forth between his friends and here, they entertain themselves we only supply food and drink! and the occasional bactine and bandaid. Some days I may not see him for 3-4 hours. Kids need to be kids.

 

[TBGOES2DISNEY]

Some people are just rude, and it's not fair that we are made to feel like we are being rude if we say something. We had a neighbor that had 2 large dogs that constantly played and ran all over our yard, spraying and pooping. Besides the fact that my dds were afraid of the dogs (who fortunately weren't mean), I had to worry about them stepping in poop or the dogs running up and scaring them half to death. The neighbor thought it was funny! It irritated me to no end. If I wanted a dog, I would get one of my own. I'm so glad the dogs aren't arround anymore. I have more stories about people being rude with their pets, but I don't want to offend.

I was never assertive enough to say anything to my neighbor, but if you are, I would tell them that you don't want their kids in your yard when you're not home - tell them it's a safety issue or something.

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

. We had a neighbor that had 2 large dogs that constantly played and ran all over our yard, spraying and pooping. Besides the fact that my dds were afraid of the dogs (who fortunately weren't mean), I had to worry about them stepping in poop or the dogs running up and scaring them half to death. The neighbor thought it was funny! It irritated me to no end. If I wanted a dog, I would get one of my own. I'm so glad the dogs aren't arround anymore. I have more stories about people being rude with their pets, but I don't want to offend.

We had this problem. We have a dog and we keep ours in our fenced yard. I can understand if a dog occasionally gets loose, but when you see the same one out all the time and decorating your yard and scaring the bejesus out of you or your kids...well, that is a whole other matter. We solved that problem at our house though. DH got an air gun. Neighbor wasn't too thrilled, but she kept her rottweiler in her fenced yard from then on.

It gets tiring having to call people on bad behavior, doesn't it? Me and DH are starting to think that we are just too gosh darned courteous! We always go out of our way to make sure that we don't offend or inconvenience anyone around us...possibly we have it all wrong? Feels that way some days.

 

[kimmac1]

YES! You are totally in the right to toot your horn and have the kids scram! UGH! I have a DS4 and DS6, when they were smaller and still napping during the day, I would have to get the older kids in the neighborhood not to play right outside my older son's window(in our front yard!) b/c it would wake him up. One day they were playing tag/hide-n-seek and using my front porch and small tree as base. HELLO! It was Christmas time, and we had lights strung from the tree. They couldn't have cared less. They just leaned through them to keep their hands on the tree.
I just don't get it. It is about RESPECT. You can be a kid, have fun, play, and still have respect for other people's property. It seems that respect is lacking in a lot of what goes on today.
End of sermon!

 

[TruBlu]

I know EXACTLY what you mean!!!

We have new neighbors with 4 KIDS under the age of 6!!! The 6 year old is in school, so the 2 and 4 year olds are sent outside to play all day long - unsupervised! When the baby is sleeping the mother locks the screen door and will not let the other kids inside.

We have lanscaping rocks all around in our back yard. The new kids turn them all over every day looking for bugs. I've had to move them back 4 times now.

Every time I look outside they are playing in our natural areas.

Our kids were staying with their grandparents, so DH decided to get some yard work done. The 2, 4 and 6 year olds all "helped" him for 3 hours. He never saw the parents.

They have only been here 2 weeks, but I am SICK OF IT! I called and got an estimate for a privacy fence, but that was $5500.00!

I'm not sure what we are going to do. I hate to be rude to the kids. My kids really like playing with them, but I have the fear of one of them getting hurt on our playset (they don't have one). Any time we go outside we have the 3 from next door, the 2 from the house next to them (3 and 7 year olds), and the 2 across the street (4 and 7 year olds) - ALL UNINVITED AND WITH NO PARENTS IN SIGHT!

 

[TruBlu]

Actually, I would be really irratated and also nervous. I used to work for State Farm and if one of those kids gets hurt in your yard ,(even though they don't have your permission to be there), you will be liable for all damages. So, what I would do is go make all their parents sign a waiver sheet-i bet they stay out of our yard then. good luck.

That is exactly what I wanted to do but DH wouldn't let me! Do you know where I could find a waiver?

 

[powellrj]

I am always confused by these threads. We seem to be one the the gathering houses on our block and if I don't want the kids playing at times, I just nicely tell them so.

99% of the time I don't mind it when the kids play in our yard, but that 1% of the time when its not a good time, just nicely say so and in 24 years I have never had a problem.

What is the big deal about having to honk to have them move. You honk, they move, you tell them your kids are in for the night and you will see them in the morning. If you don't want them to play in your yard when your kids aren't home, you tell them that.

Kids aren't good at knowing what you are thinking unless you tell them.

We had a problem with kids getting into our sports equipment when we weren't home. I just told them that I don't want them to use our basketballs and bikes unless we are home and all is fine.

They aren't mind readers, so if you have a problem, just tell them in a nice way.

I have always stressed to my kids not to be in other peoples yard unless you are playing with the kids that live there, but I am sure other parents never thought to tell their kids and if you don't tell them, they may think its ok.

 

[jenrein]

Oh I would be so ticked! That is just not right at all. Not only are you then held responsible for what happens in your yard, you have to deal with the damage they could cause. I dont know why anyone would think its ok to let your children play outside unsupervised

 

[*KeepMovingForward*]

What is the big deal about having to honk to have them move. You honk, they move, you tell them your kids are in for the night and you will see them in the morning. If you don't want them to play in your yard when your kids aren't home, you tell them that.

They aren't mind readers, so if you have a problem, just tell them in a nice way.

I have always stressed to my kids not to be in other peoples yard unless you are playing with the kids that live there, but I am sure other parents never thought to tell their kids and if you don't tell them, they may think its ok.

I think that's exactly the problem...you toot your horn and ask them nicely to move and they don't. I used to have that happen all the time at our old house. Our driveway was longer than anyone elses in the neighborhood (about 200ft) and the neighborhood kids liked to use ours as a place to ride bikes, play basketball, kickball and the like. You could be there and about to run them over with your car and honking the horn and asking them to move and they look at you like you just landed from outer space and then keep going about what they are doing. When you finally do get them to move you get an indignant attitude like 'how dare you ask us to move'. I don't know. Some kids (not all-because I hate making generalizations) have this sense of entitlement and are never told no-the moment someone does say no to them, its a problem. It's just aggravating to have to deal with because I always took for granted that it was common courtesy (and common sense) not to do this. A 5yr old you expect to have to tell that it is not okay...but not when the kids are older.

I wish I had neighbors like you. I'm sure your right that other parents probably have not thought to tell their children not to play in someone else's yard unless they are playing with those kids. Now if they would just listen once you tell them. When my neighbors kid put a softball through my car window (again, thank goodness it was open), I went up to her door to talk to her (calmy of course) and I got the same type of blank look and response-she didn't understand what my problem was cause nothing was damaged. Now I would expect her to at least feign a little concern and tell her kids that softball right in front of my car is not a good idea, but no. Sometimes you just throw your hands in the air and give up.

 

[Hannathy]

I dont know why anyone would think its ok to let your children play outside unsupervised

Because kids don't NEED parental interference all the time! They need to be kids to work things out themselves, to figure out what to do when they are bored, to make up games and rules, to pretend the ants are aliens and invading, to talk without being supervised, to find out something doesn't work by trial and error not having an adult tell them, to scrape their knee and brush it off because 3 Mom's aren't there to come running and ohing. so many kids have no independence or alone time, they don't need entertained and a planned schedule 24 hours a day.

I'm very glad our neighborhood is like the neighborhoods of my youth and the kids are free to come and go and play with each other in each others yards, and horrors they cut thru yards to go to other yards or to walk to school! Of course kids around here actually walk or ride their bikes themselves to school. Some of the neighborhoods I hear described on here sound like a bunch of houses next to each other not neighbors.

 

[MiniGirl]

I'm with your husband. We have kids all over the various yards once the weather gets nice. And quite frankly how much parental interaction do 8 and 9 yr old really need to play? Thats what is wrong with kids now there is too much parental interaction. In the summer my DS is out all day going back and forth between his friends and here, they entertain themselves we only supply food and drink! and the occasional bactine and bandaid. Some days I may not see him for 3-4 hours. Kids need to be kids.

You know, I really do understand what you are saying. However, in the last 2 months, we've had 2 attempted abductions. The latest was about 20 miles from here, but the first 1 was an 11 yo boy riding his bike in the neighborhood right next to ours. Now, we live in a gated comminuty and the others weren't, but still our area, as a whole, is thought to be extremely safe. I also know that our fence won't keep out someone that really wanted to get in. My girls are 7 and 5, and they, for the most part, aren't allowed to play outside if I or dh aren't out with them. There are exceptions, but in general, I don't allow it. I know I'll probably get flamed for being an over protective or a hovering mom, but I really don't care. I'm doing what I feel is best.

 

[powellrj]

I think that's exactly the problem...you toot your horn and ask them nicely to move and they don't. I used to have that happen all the time at our old house. Our driveway was longer than anyone elses in the neighborhood (about 200ft) and the neighborhood kids liked to use ours as a place to ride bikes, play basketball, kickball and the like. You could be there and about to run them over with your car and honking the horn and asking them to move and they look at you like you just landed from outer space and then keep going about what they are doing. When you finally do get them to move you get an indignant attitude like 'how dare you ask us to move'. I don't know. Some kids (not all-because I hate making generalizations) have this sense of entitlement and are never told no-the moment someone does say no to them, its a problem. It's just aggravating to have to deal with because I always took for granted that it was common courtesy (and common sense) not to do this. A 5yr old you expect to have to tell that it is not okay...but not when the kids are older.

I wish I had neighbors like you. I'm sure your right that other parents probably have not thought to tell their children not to play in someone else's yard unless they are playing with those kids. Now if they would just listen once you tell them. When my neighbors kid put a softball through my car window (again, thank goodness it was open), I went up to her door to talk to her (calmy of course) and I got the same type of blank look and response-she didn't understand what my problem was cause nothing was damaged. Now I would expect her to at least feign a little concern and tell her kids that softball right in front of my car is not a good idea, but no. Sometimes you just throw your hands in the air and give up.

If you ask nicely and you still get no response, I can understand, that would really make me mad too.

I am just always surprise when people don't try just asking first. If you ask and they still don't listen, then thats a problem and you really do need to set some boundaries.

I have just seen lots of post where people complain about kids playing in their yards or kids knocking at their doors and they get mad at the kids for it when they haven't said anything to them so the kids know its a problem.


We let the kids play football and kickball all fall in our yard and now the grass is dead. I told the kids no more football or kickball till the grass came back, and they have all been really good about it. They have now moved on to basketball!

 

[beth_cam]

My kids do play in the backyard somewhat unsupervised...with all of these kids. I do not allow them to play in the front yard since it leads to playing in the street and running all over with me having no idea where they are. Our little 3 street neighborhood is right off of a high traffic (high speed even though the signs say lower) road...meaning in a minute from my door they can be on that road. I have heard from 2 different parents about a stranger (male, alone) approaching the children when at play in the street. Just accross that road is the walmart and all that kind of shopping. People are often driving down our street just to turn around and they dont watch out for the kids. And I have witnessed the kids fighting and running out in front of cars pulling into the neighborhood more than once. I see no need to hover over (well actually I do kind of want to so I grab a book and go into my room or something if I have to to give them their space). I dont try to manage their disputes or their games, my general attitude towards it is if you can't work it out you know the way home. I dont have a problem with games from one yard spilling into another or kids cutting through our yard - yet the teenagers who bring their bikes over the 6 ft fence that is barely standing as it is does bug me but I haven't really worried about it. As I said they have asked before if they could play in my yard and I told them no. So I have told them. Playing and being kids is one thing but setting up camp in someone else's yard when those people aren't involved in your play is at the very least inconsiderate. I don't worry about the noise that comes from other peoples pets and children the way I hear people complain about I figure you live in a neighborhood you are going to hear noise....but my property is my property. My complaints were as much on the parents as on the children since they obviously haven't been tought to respect other people's property. If they are old enough to be able to run all over they are old enough to understand that. I do tell the kids what I think. I was rather polite last night - until they made no move to leave when I told them. At first I wasn't going to say anything but I figured if I didn't tell them I would just come home to the same thing again. But, I probably will come home to it anyway.

 

[yrdlyprincess]

Wow this sounds like Sunday to me (MY sunday) I took DD to get her pictures taken for ballet- told DH to watch DS, came back & there were 5 kids in my driveway playing w/my kids toys. DH said that he went inside for a minute, lucky for him w/DS, but there were NO OTHER parents outside watching these children (HELLO NOT NEIGHBORHOOD BABYSITTER) Ok, fine so DD was excited to see, play/wfriends, great but had to tell 2 of the GIRLS to not go in my garage 4 x's, Don't get me wrong-if you need to run inside for a minute-no problem- have 2 of my OWN!! There is actually 1 father (single) that sends his daughter out ALL DAY & either doesn't come out or sits on his porch w/his laptop!! YES, I understand & agree w/ your grip!! I don't mind helping-I mind nannying (w/no pay!!)...ps 3 of the children are nasty, rude & obnoxious- have gone so far 2 say my DS "can't play" in HIS OWN YARD!!!!

 

[watersbland]

I agree that there's a lot to be said for letting children play together and not be under your thumb. Play is a child's work. It teaches them so many things about life. But unfortunately we don't live in the day and time where you can run all over the neighborhood and woods all day and not check in until dinner time like we did. You have to choose between letting them go off on their own and having some sick person snatch them up or having them where you can keep an eye on them and forego some of that freedom. It's a shame that is has to be that way but it's just not safe to have no idea where your kids are playing or what they're doing. Take it from someone who has worked more than a fair share of missing child and child abduction cases. Just my two cents worth...

 

[Hannathy]

I agree that there's a lot to be said for letting children play together and not be under your thumb. Play is a child's work. It teaches them so many things about life. But unfortunately we don't live in the day and time where you can run all over the neighborhood and woods all day and not check in until dinner time like we did. You have to choose between letting them go off on their own and having some sick person snatch them up or having them where you can keep an eye on them and forego some of that freedom. It's a shame that is has to be that way but it's just not safe to have no idea where your kids are playing or what they're doing. Take it from someone who has worked more than a fair share of missing child and child abduction cases. Just my two cents worth...

But that just isn't true the statistics haven't changed. It is still incredibly rare to have a stranger abduction!!!! It is not more dangerous than before. We just have 24 hour news channels trying to fill the space between commercials now that weren't around 20 yrs ago.