Apparently, I'm the klutzy one here.
1. Teenager--washing dishes, broke a piece off of a ceramic coffee mug. Kept washing it--sliced my right hand between my thumb and pointer finger--I went down to the tendons/bone on that one. Ouchies. In cold weather, my thumb aches and doesn't want to work right. Big scar from my palm all the way around to my wrist.
2. First day using a box grater (teenager). Shredded my right knuckles--all of them. Lots of little pitting scars.
3. First day cleaning a grill at McDonald's--got some of the grill cleaner on my right wrist, wiped it off and kept going. A beautiful, crescent moon shaped scar.
4. First day using a box cutter at McD's--no one told me to cut away from me. Cut towards my other hand, caught my left wrist. The scar looks like I tried to commit suicide.
5. First day at Chipotle (sense a theme here?

) cutting cilantro. Did you know you aren't supposed to put your hand in the way of the knife--cut my left palm area right under the thumb. Long thin scar there.
6. First day using a mandolin (at home). Sliced my right palm (the guard actually snapped in two). Nice little scar running the length of my palm.
7. Was assembling steak (or something) skewers on metal skewers. The darn piece of meat didn't want to slide on, so I put the skewer--point down--on my palm to steady it while I pushed the meat on. Small round scar on the left palm.
Non food issues:
1. Ran over my big toe with the safe door at McD's. (yes, I had on safety shoes--but that door was huge and heavy). No longer have a toe nail on the big toe on my left foot.
2. Got a spider bite on my right middle finger at the beginning of a shift at McD's. (man, was that place bad for me or what?) By the end of my shift 10 hours later, my finger had swollen to 3 times the size, and was turning black. Went to the ER. They had to puncture it, because of the amount of blood/pus in it. The nurse couldn't believe I had been bitten only 10 (well, by that time they finally saw me, 12) hours earlier. I have a scar from both the spider bite and the puncture.
3. Too many slice and dice stories about shaving. I will say that you should never shave your Achilles tendon. Just don't. If you slip, you bleed very badly. Also, don't step on the razor blades. Those leave nice scars on the bottoms of your feet.
4. Had a shaving cut on my right knee. Turned into a boil, and now I have a "pit" scar.
5. Fell on a broken mirror when I was a kid. Have a moon shaped scar on my right knee. Right above the above named pit scar.
6. I have a scar on my right thigh where a pencil jammed into my leg when I was running home one day, and fell on my book bag. Ouch.
7. Worst scar--under my chin. From my ex-husband, who held a knife there and cut me. Worst just because of the memories.
I run into walls, or the bed frame--which seems to love my toes--regularly. The other day, I turned around to head down the hall to our bedroom, miscalculated where the wall was, and ran face first into it.
And DH has given me a concussion--twice--while we were "making whoopie". If anyone has a wood waterbed frame, please do two things: 1. don't sling your partner around and 2. get some sort of pillow cover for the frame.
