Working mom's - how do you manage everything?

[RadioNate]

Ok totally NOT looking for a Working Mom v Stay at Home Mom debate.

I receintly went back to work after being a SAHM for 5 years. I'm totally drowning. I primarily work from home so DS is here with me once school gets out. He gets home around 330.

My house is a pig sty and I can't find time to clean it. Weekends are packed with 'family time' and carting DS from one activity to another.

Tonight DS had Eggos for dinner because I couldn't manage anything else.

So what is your system? How do you fit it all in...cleaning, laundry, meals, children's activities and still have time to 1) get all your work done and 2) have grown up time...I'm not even worried about 'me time' yet!

 

[micki7337]

I've always been a working mom except when I was home on maternity so no flames here!!!! When I finally had it, I hired a cleaning lady. In our old house she came every week but that was really because we had outgrown the space and it always appeared dirty. Once we moved to a bigger house (double the sq footage), I pay her a little more each visit but she only comes once every other week. She comes on a Friday so my house sparkles all weekend and I don't feel guilty doing the kids stuff all weekend. The off weekend I just pick up and vacuum. Sometimes we get behind on the wash and send it out to the fluff and fold at the laundromat. Honestly I hate doing this because I worry about the detergent - and none of my stuff every goes! (i'm allergic to certain cleaners.) I also do Dream Dinners sometimes and then spread them out over time and I always cook a big meal on Sunday's so there's plenty of left overs for at least Monday. And I count on my kids to keep their rooms and bathroom picked up and they help me with the wash (esp. my 13 yo)

And I will admit - sometimes my family eats waffles for dinner! It's okay, it won't kill them!

The biggest thing your can do for yourself is not beat yourself up. All of us are not supermothers and those that pretend are doing just that!!! (Go check under their beds!) Good Luck!

 

[DisneyBlonde]

I work from 8 to 4, and actually I take a liberty and leave at 3:45 (traffic, if I stayed till 4, would get me home much later)...so when I get home I can do the homework thing, and make dinner, and be as close to a SAHM as is possible. I'm fortunate that my employer allows me the flexibility I need (I don't take a lunch so I can leave early).

You can't worry about the house. I try to catch up on the weekends, but you know how they say something's got to give? Well for me it's the house. You just can't let it make you nuts. And we do take out a lot. A lot.

 

[DVCLiz]

DD had instant oatmeal, an apple, and apple cider from a pouch for dinner tonight - and I'm not a working mother anymore, I've been home for 6 years!! I was just busy today (out of town, and then getting the house back in order after carpets were cleaned yesterday).

When I worked (full time for 20 years) I had a cleaning lady once a week. If you can swing it, it's the best way to keep a little bit ahead of the oncoming tide of cleaning. If you're working at home, you can try and see if you can start a load of laundry in the morning, put it in the dryer at lunch, and fold and put it away after dinner.

The main thing is to find a way to get the basics done - and to decide for yourself what the basics really are. Then you and your DH can work on the rest of the stuff. The critical things are keeping everyone fed and in clean clothes, and having a warm and loving family relationship (oh, and getting your job done!!) The rest will fit in when it can, or get neglected for a while - and that's OK, too.

Good luck!!!

 

[Al and Kate's Mom]

I work at home - sounds like a similar situation. I just learned not to stress it - the kids are healthy and happy and the rest just falls into place.

Also helps that I have an AWESOME DH who cooks and does most of the cleaning

 

[WDWorBUST]

I don't!! Most days I feel like a miserable failure. I don't know how people do it and DD is only 3. I really want another child....but I wonder how on earth I would ever manage that AND keep what little sanity I have left. It's tough - I love my job and REALLY LOVE my family. Our house is tiny (think under 800 sq ft) and we have too much stuff (I'm working on this) and even with me working it will take probably 2 to 3 years before we have the stupid debt paid off and even able to consider a new house that better fits us. And I don't want to wait that long to have another child. What's a person to do??

 

[EEYOREMAMA]

I teach full time, have 2 DSs, and I've gone back to school for my Masters. Most days I have to make a list or I'd forget to pick the kids up from school and they go to the same school I teach at.

Some days I have to attach a post-it to my badge, to remind myself to make dinner or do laundry. I honestly don't think this makes me a bad mom. My boys are healthy, happy and well adjusted. They even help pitch in when they notice mom has lost her mind; or her sticky notes.

I think the secret is to keep your family involved no matter how small the kids are. They will learn what an tremendous amount of work goes into running a home and develop an appreciation of how much effort is involved.

I am also very lucky that DH has taken over a few of the daily chores such as laundry. Of course he does it before he leaves for work and it's still in the washer when I get home 7 hours later. I will never complain, or he might stop helping. So I've learned to live with wet laundry and the dog greeting me at the door every day.

Keep yourself organized: lists, notes, whatever it takes. It will start to take shape and you won't be in the lose-your-mind club that I am rapidly becoming president of. You'll do just fine. Look at all the positive you do in a day, and don't stress about the rest.

 

[RadioNate]

I'm really glad I'm not alone.

I didn't put it in the OP because I thought I'd get flamed but every working mom I know in real life has a cleaning person. I think I might have to start asking for recommendations!

I'm enjoying working...it is overwhelming because they've never had someone do my job before so the work just didn't get done so I have a huge back log of stuff to catch up on.

Keep the suggestions coming...thanks!

 

[ahutton]

I was in the same boat until we left TX in August. My situation was slightly different as I used to have an hour or so from when I got home until DH and the kids arrived. That is when I cooked, and tried to clean one room a day.

Overall, I learned to live with a little more mess, and made the kids be responsible for picking up there own toys. We got a cool basket for the family room that everything fit into. We had a play room (it doubled as a guest room) where most of there stuff was kept and I just didn't worry about how bad it was.

I never found a good solution to laundry because as wonderful as DH is, he just isn't good with laundry. He would get dressed from the laundry pile every day until it was gone before he would think to put anything in his dresser. I did okay until my 3rd baby came, then in all went downhill.

DH now stays home with the kids, and does the chores. We still live with a little more mess than either of us like, but we don't worry about it.

 

[SillyMe]

I'm a single mom with 2 daughters and work full time, and just finished taking courses for my real estate license. It's hard. There are alot of nights that I don't cook. We eat out or we eat something quick and easy. I try to keep up with the laundry during the week as much as I can, but then catch up with the rest on weekends. Lately I'm really falling behind on everything. My mom has cancer, so I've been running her to doctor appointments, too. Some nights I just feel like tuning everything out, letting everything go and just crawling under the covers. Other days I multi-task like crazy to catch up.

 

[DVCLiz]

I'm really glad I'm not alone.

I didn't put it in the OP because I thought I'd get flamed but every working mom I know in real life has a cleaning person. I think I might have to start asking for recommendations!

Oh, honey, a cleaning lady has saved MANY a family from going completely under!!!! Working moms have discovered that having someone else do part of the cleaning is a great way to free up some time to do the things you need and want to do for your job and for your family.

I think the key is to let go of pre-conceived notions (a good mom always makes a home-cooked meal each night) and do what works (a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store, still warm, with rolls, a salad, and some rice still counts as a home-cooked meal and takes about 5 minutes to prepare). Cut yourself some slack where it doesn't really matter, and focus on the parts that do. You'll get it under control!!!!

 

[Blondy876]

After the second glass of red wine, I don't care what the house looks like.

Seriously, I have just had to learn not to let it bother me. As long as the children are fed, cleaned and loved then I'm a happy Mom.

 

[Pop Daddy]

there the hardest working people in the world, and sexy

 

[aprilgail2]

The laundry I usually put in the machine in the morning and then move it to the dryer after work. As far as cleaning the house, it gets done when it gets done. Dinner is anytime from 4pm-8pm depending on what is happening that night....my daughter has karate 4 times a week, irish step dancing once a week and basketball once a week so there is much running around after school. I do treat myself to a landscaper though so at least I don't have to cut the lawn too! Grown up time....well...maybe when my daughter goes off to college I can have that LOL....

 

[MushyMushy]

If you find out, let me know. I'm drowning in it!

Basically I just have to focus on my priorities and let the rest go. I'll catch up later (like after I graduate). It doesn't help that I've been sick with some virus or other non-stop since I started student teaching.

But I'm sure someone will come along and make you feel incompetent for even asking. I found this out a month or so ago when I asked for advice on it.

Good luck. You'll find your groove. Get that cleaning lady! That's the first thing I'm going to do when I start getting a paycheck.

 

[believe]

I can only do it because of DH and the kids doing their part. DH and I work opposite shifts, I am on my own with the girls (6 and 8) Mon-Fri once they come home from school. I only get home 10-15 minutes before their bus. Everyone picks up after themselves. My girls put their own laundry away and do their best in cleaning their own bathroom. Here is my daily schedule...

Crunches
Shower
Dressed
Take dirty laundry down
Feed cats
Get girls ice packs in lunches
Devotional
Take out any needed garbage
If extra time quick sweep or wipe of an area
Off to work
Once home....start dinner
Girls home, they empty their lunchboxes and get homework going
I assist as needed with homework while preparing dinner and their lunches for the next day
Finish homework, then dinner
Then off to either the gym, store or Dad's...usually home between 8 or 9
Once home...iron clothes
Girls get shower
Snack
Bed for girls
I usually go to bed then also...or briefly write in my journal.

There may be one night a week where I am home, but then the girls have company on that night. Our house remains 'straight' and typically gets a deep clean when having company. I can get to a room or 2 a week, but that is it.

Like you, our weekends are packed. I couldn't do it if we didn't work together as a family. DH cuts the grass, I trim..DH does the laundry I handle the groceries. I typically do the most cleaning but if it really gets to me and I can't get to it DH will take care of it.

It's tough...I am considering a different job at my current company that will increase my stress level as well as possibly be more time consuming. This is one reason, work/life balance, that I am struggling with the decision.

5 minutes here or there also makes a big difference.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Routines, and FlyLady. You can do anything for 15 minutes.

I'm an Executive Director of a Healthcare Certification organization, mom to DD7 and DS12, am finishing my bachelor's degree, starting my masters in January, AND my husband is being mobilized to Afghanistan for a year and a half. My house is always 15 minutes from picked up.

And I have peace, because I have routines. www.flylady.net. It's been a long time getting here, but it feels great.

 

[KikiFan]

I'm a single mom, working out of my home. So I totally understand where you are coming from. First thing I'd say is don't beat yourself up. The world won't end if the house is a little messy.

I think the one thing that I feel guiltiest about are the meals. I can live with a messy bedroom a lot easier then I can eating fast food. So I focus my energy on cooking healthy meals. The crockpot can be your best friend. It's the easiest way I've found to have a good meal on the table. It only takes a few minutes to throw a few things in the crockpot. Or if you've got the removable pot you can prep it the night before then just take it out of the fridge and start cooking in the morning.

Once or twice a month I'll take an afternoon and an cook like a mad woman. In a few hours I can make a bunch of meals. A big pot of pasta sauce from scratch. With that you can make a bunch of meals. Lasagna, eggplant parmasian, have some frozen sauce ready for spagetti, or broil up some chicken breasts topped with pasta sauce and swiss cheese. I am the first to admit I am lazy. And if it's going to take me more then 20 minutes to get dinner on the table then I might as well go through a drive thru. So my best defense is to have ready meals on hand.

Just figure out what's most important to you and make those things the priority. You'll be fine!!

 

[EEYOREMAMA]

there the hardest working people in the world, and sexy

Bless you sweetheart and thanks for noticing!!!!!!

 

[christineann]

I got divorced in 1994 and raised two children. I never got much help from the husband anyway, and the stress level went way down when we got him out of the house (he was abusive). So we had the happiness factor in our favor. At one time I worked 3 jobs. I'm not sure how we did it. Eating out, even fast food, was out of the question - too expensive. I cleaned the house, did yard work, etc. at night and on the weekends. There was always one-on-one time for each child right before bedtime. What I am trying to say is that keeping a spotless house is secondary to making sure everybody is happy. Now I have an empty nest, and when my friends ask me "aww, how are you?" I can reply that I am finally catching up on everything, including sleep, from the last 12 years!

The keys are a sense of humor.....and a crockpot!