Work life balance vs job security vs being happy!

[1andrea]

We all work to pay our bills and my job does exactly that. As far as I'm aware my job is relatively secure, which means a lot as im a worrier, but I dream of being self employed!

Although I can tolerate my job I wouldn't say I enjoy it (I have to be careful with my choice of words in case of spy's!)

I just wish I was brave enough to take the plunge to give it all up. This year I'm going to attempt to run a little business alongside my day job but it will mean working 7 days a week and very long days when I have a family.

I obviously don't want my family to suffer but they will also suffer if I'm miserable at work!

It's seems to be a catch 22. Has anyone else been in a similar predicament?

Any advice appreciated!

Xx

 

[peachiepie]

I am a worrier too, but a few months ago I made the change from a pretty secure job that didn't make me happy, to a new job that is a bit less secure but makes me a lot happier. I am really glad I made the change, my work life balance is much better and I am a lot happier for it (and so is my family).

Good luck making a decision!

 

[1andrea]

I am a worrier too, but a few months ago I made the change from a pretty secure job that didn't make me happy, to a new job that is a bit less secure but makes me a lot happier. I am really glad I made the change, my work life balance is much better and I am a lot happier for it (and so is my family).

Good luck making a decision!

Its so hard to even come close to a 'real' decision for me.

I'm actually off to work in a few minutes.

I wonder how many people enjoy their job, I don't know many ....

X

 

[Disneygirl NY]

I left a job 2 years ago where I was beyond miserable, and luckily (since i carry the benefits for my family) I was offered another job that was comfortable, closer to home, but paid half of the job I left. It was definitely worth it at the time and it gave me time to really figure out what I want. I was just offered a new job, working from home for a large health organization, back close to the salary of the job I left. I start on Apr 21st and I get to see my kids off to school, be there when they get home, don't need to find someone to watch them if they are sick or have a snow day. And, it's for a great, solid organization. It took me a long time to find this (and I haven't started yet, so can't say that I like it for sure) but I really wanted to telecommute and I finally found something. Technology is allowing more and more flexibility for companies, but so many just will not jump on the bandwagon. It's silly really, they are losing out on some great candidates who don't want to sit in a cubicle for 40 hours a week!

 

[DisneyDreamer2020]

I'm the opposite.

I've been self employed for 7 years and am going back to work part time from next Monday because of the stress of it all.

I make wedding cakes and from March to October my days can run at about 20 hours. I've missed so much of my kids growing up and spending time with my hubby. I rarely get days off and if I do I'm usually doing something cake related, like paperwork or wedding fairs, my last holiday was in October 2010and I mean, last holiday, not just Florida. I've missed funerals, weddings and birthdays because of work booked in but there's no guarantee of work and not having a set wage has been really, really tough. Some months I don't bring in money at all although hubby works for the ambulance service, his wages just cover the bills so if I don't make money the credit card takes a hit.

If you're working and going self employed you have all the added stress of becoming registered with HMRC and having to do tax returns, you have to get permission from your local council, you have to change all your insurances to accommodate what you do.

I also became socially depressed for a while as I was in the house all day on my own with no adult interaction, usually I'm fine with being on my own but after 7 years it all became too much. My hubby works 12 hour shifts so he'd be coming home at 10.30pm and going to bed an hour later and I'd still be up working.

I came to a decision that I'm 43 now and can't physically be doing this to myself any more so am going back in to the NHS. It's only 20 hours a week but I can do the cakes that I've already got booked in along side it until I decide to go full time and give them up completely.

I'm glad I became self employed, don't get me wrong, but in the end my family suffered because of it too.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I hope it all works out for you

 

[Ware Bears]

Can't offer any advice but just wanted to say good luck. Is there any chance you can go part-time or job-share in your present job?

 

[1andrea]

I left a job 2 years ago where I was beyond miserable, and luckily (since i carry the benefits for my family) I was offered another job that was comfortable, closer to home, but paid half of the job I left. It was definitely worth it at the time and it gave me time to really figure out what I want. I was just offered a new job, working from home for a large health organization, back close to the salary of the job I left. I start on Apr 21st and I get to see my kids off to school, be there when they get home, don't need to find someone to watch them if they are sick or have a snow day. And, it's for a great, solid organization. It took me a long time to find this (and I haven't started yet, so can't say that I like it for sure) but I really wanted to telecommute and I finally found something. Technology is allowing more and more flexibility for companies, but so many just will not jump on the bandwagon. It's silly really, they are losing out on some great candidates who don't want to sit in a cubicle for 40 hours a week!

That's good news that things are working out for you hopefully you will love the job too.

My worry is not being able to provide for my daughter and it will ave been me who made the decision to leave so it would be my fault if things go wrong!

At least if it was redundancy I'd have no choice in the matter and I wouldn't procrastinate over the decision!!

 

[1andrea]

I'm the opposite.

I've been self employed for 7 years and am going back to work part time from next Monday because of the stress of it all.

I make wedding cakes and from March to October my days can run at about 20 hours. I've missed so much of my kids growing up and spending time with my hubby. I rarely get days off and if I do I'm usually doing something cake related, like paperwork or wedding fairs, my last holiday was in October 2010and I mean, last holiday, not just Florida. I've missed funerals, weddings and birthdays because of work booked in but there's no guarantee of work and not having a set wage has been really, really tough. Some months I don't bring in money at all although hubby works for the ambulance service, his wages just cover the bills so if I don't make money the credit card takes a hit.

If you're working and going self employed you have all the added stress of becoming registered with HMRC and having to do tax returns, you have to get permission from your local council, you have to change all your insurances to accommodate what you do.

I also became socially depressed for a while as I was in the house all day on my own with no adult interaction, usually I'm fine with being on my own but after 7 years it all became too much. My hubby works 12 hour shifts so he'd be coming home at 10.30pm and going to bed an hour later and I'd still be up working.

I came to a decision that I'm 43 now and can't physically be doing this to myself any more so am going back in to the NHS. It's only 20 hours a week but I can do the cakes that I've already got booked in along side it until I decide to go full time and give them up completely.

I'm glad I became self employed, don't get me wrong, but in the end my family suffered because of it too.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I hope it all works out for you

A lot of the things in your post are things I worry about especially the job security and a salary that can be relied upon along with paid sickness and holidays.

I'm just not happy :0( I feel that my stress levels have risen and my unhappiness rubs off on my family.

Good luck in your new job I really hope everything works out for you xx

 

[1andrea]

Can't offer any advice but just wanted to say good luck. Is there any chance you can go part-time or job-share in your present job?

Thank you!

That is something that I'm considering at the moment. It's the type of job that if I reduce my hours I'd never be able to increase them up again so it needs careful consideration.

Did I mention I'm a worrier??

 

[DisneyDreamer2020]

A lot of the things in your post are things I worry about especially the job security and a salary that can be relied upon along with paid sickness and holidays.

I'm just not happy :0( I feel that my stress levels have risen and my unhappiness rubs off on my family.

Good luck in your new job I really hope everything works out for you xx

I understand, I do. It just happened to be the right time to become self employed as we'd not long moved up here and the kids were only 4 & 2 so I needed to be at home for them but they're 13 and 15 now and I can't keep killing myself with stupidly long hours but then again what you want to do may be polar opposite of what I do and there may not be any long hours or bad stuff.

What about a completely different job but part time hours, something similar to what you want to do self employed or something else that you would enjoy.

I used to be a secretary in the NHS but this new job is so different, i'll be working in the medical laboratory in the bowel cancer screening unit here. It's only for 6 months but it gets me back in the job field again.

Thanks for your best wishes and I wish you good luck too

 

[Zobie]

I am self employed, which means I work 24/7 (really it does). After having my own retail store for 7 years, I would rather have the worst job/boss in the world and be able to forget the job at closing time. When you own your own, you live it, all the time, every minute of every day, there is no break, and vacations bring a new level of stress and guilt.

 

[DisneyDreamer2020]

I am self employed, which means I work 24/7 (really it does). After having my own retail store for 7 years, I would rather have the worst job/boss in the world and be able to forget the job at closing time. When you own your own, you live it, all the time, every minute of every day, there is no break, and vacations bring a new level of stress and guilt.

Yep, I agree lol!

 

[cheryl.UK]

Hi Andrea,

6 years ago I left a very well paid job with no idea what I was going to do next. The stress was enormous, the hours long and I hated my boss with a passion. I'm now self employed and work 3 or 4 days a week on average and I couldn't be happier. Yes theres less money. Yes there's less security but I never find myself without any work for more than a week a year (unless I planned it that way )
I spend time in my garden now. I cook meals from scratch not pop pop ping and I get time with my family.

I'll take the cut in pay slight stress of the job security over the mammoth stress of my old job any day.

 

[cheryl.UK]

But I didn't get into retail!! Nightmare! Sorry guys.

 

[crabbie1]

I used to be self employed before I did my nursing and to be honest I would not do it again. I think we all have times when we wish we did something else. I love my job for the practical reasons and for the care I provide.
Unfortunately nursing has changed and there is more emphasis on the written side of things. I could not work full time in my job but I can do extra shifts when I want to. It is easier to up your hours than to drop them as someone has mentioned.
Good luck with your decision. Xx

 

[1andrea]

Hi Andrea,

6 years ago I left a very well paid job with no idea what I was going to do next. The stress was enormous, the hours long and I hated my boss with a passion. I'm now self employed and work 3 or 4 days a week on average and I couldn't be happier. Yes theres less money. Yes there's less security but I never find myself without any work for more than a week a year (unless I planned it that way )
I spend time in my garden now. I cook meals from scratch not pop pop ping and I get time with my family.

I'll take the cut in pay slight stress of the job security over the mammoth stress of my old job any day.

This so makes me want to take the risk!!

Thank you :0)

 

[1andrea]

I used to be self employed before I did my nursing and to be honest I would not do it again. I think we all have times when we wish we did something else. I love my job for the practical reasons and for the care I provide.
Unfortunately nursing has changed and there is more emphasis on the written side of things. I could not work full time in my job but I can do extra shifts when I want to. It is easier to up your hours than to drop them as someone has mentioned.
Good luck with your decision. Xx

I know some days aren't as bad as others but its never anything better than bearable!

I just want to be happy!!

 

[higgy66]

In my early 20's I had a very secure well paid job but I absolutely hated it! I used to dream of breaking an arm or leg so I could have time off sick

I still lived at home with my parents and they were so against me leaving but I had to explain you are at work a long time and it's a very big part of your life! Leaving that job was one of the hardest decisions I ever made and although I didn't go into self employment I did temp for a while - travelled abroad and was never out of work for more than two weeks at any one time. I tested various jobs out for a couple of years and even went back to college.

About 5 years later I ended up where I am now and I've been here 19 years. I've worked my way up to being reasonably paid BUT most importantly I love my job!! I have the most amazing bosses who have made bringing up children and the childcare issues this entails so much easier. I have friends who are so stressed with their jobs they've had breakdowns and everyday I thank my lucky stars I have my job.

If you have an idea this self employment could work for you then go for it. What's the worse that can happen? If you end up realising it's not for you then go back into paid employment and just see where that road leads you - life's a journey and all we can do is keep trying to find the one that suits us the best- even if that means taking lots of side roads and U turns - who cares if the ultimate destination is happiness!

 

[gracie1]

This actually all just happened to me. I was working at a very well paid job, benefits and all - but could not stand working with the new boss - stomach in knots everyday from the stress. I left the job, am now working at a less paying job, which is closed 5 months out of the year and have no benefits. Scariest thing I have ever done!!! And I am still scared financially - but you know what? The stress is gone, I am able to eat again and I love where I'm at
I think this is the best decision. yes, I won't be able to take vacations for probably a few years until I figure out my finances, but it is so worth it. You only live once!!