Women, would you ever and guys, would it bother you if

[honeywolf7]

Women, would you ever say "I love you" to a significant other first, or is that his job?
Men, would it bother you if a woman that you were seeing said it to you first?

 

[wvjules]

I don't think I would ever be the first to say it. Okay, so maybe I would if we had been dating for a long time and I was sure he felt the same, but just hadn't said it yet. I also don't call them until after they've called me several times first.

 

[ratsrule]

Most men would be scared off if the "L" word was used too early on in a relationship.

 

[Disney845]

Hmmmmm touchy subject for me.... When SO and I first started dating, I think he thought I wanted to hear it and that it was the right thing to do, so he just said it. I didn't say it back until I knew I meant it, and it was ackward whenever he said it to me, not knowing how to respond, what not. A little way down the road I ended up finding out he didn't mean it when he said it. Boy did this create problems. Of course he and I both mean it now when we say it.

Love isn't something I think should be taken lightly. Say it when and only if you really mean it. I have no personal opinion on whether a woman should feel free to say it first. I know as someone said earlier that many men can get freaked out by the L word, thinking it means you are getting married and having kids next week or something.

 

[Blondie]

If you aren't certain what your S.O's reaction might be, maybe substitute it with something like "You are so special to me" or "I care so much for you"....something along those lines. And then let him take it from there!

 

[ShuisFan584]

I never make the first move when it comes to anything. I would be afraid to say it first because I'd be afraid they wouldn't say it back, but that's just because I'm an insecure person.

 

[snoopy]

I come from the school that says its always better for the guy to love the girl a little more than she loves him, or at least the girl should make him think that way.

 

[aprincessmom]

Sure. If I were truly in love with someone it wouldn't matter who said it first. If I were truly in love I should be comfortable in making that declaration without any fear or insecurity.

I would not say it just to illicite a response in kind from the person I said it to.

As you can see, love, to me, is a serious matter and it would take a long time for me to say it because I only say it when I truly mean it. To me there is a difference in enjoying a person's company, being fond of them, spending time with them vs. actually being in love with them.

 

[Steve H.]

Pretty basic rule of thumb -- if you're not sure how someone you're dating is going to react if you say it, it's pretty likely you're not in love yet.

 

[Sharon A.]

I come from a different school. If you're sure you love him and you're fairly sure he loves you too, then go for it. I hate it when people play games about their feelings.

 

[olena]

I say it when I feel it. I'm pretty straight-forward in my relationships.

 

[honeywolf7]

He thought I said it the other day (I didn't) and asked me if I said it and I said that I didn't say it, but didn't say that I think I do love him.

 

[GEM]

When my husband and I were dating, I think I was the one who said it first. I guess it didn't bother him too much, because we were married a few years later.

 

[goofygirl]

It all depends on how long, and how serious you are about each other.

If you are a guy saying "I love you" to a girl just to sleep with her, its wrong.

If you know each other only a matter of weeks and are saying "I love you", this is not very logical.

My Bf was the first to say it. He was also the first to make a move. I am glad he was the first, because I am shy about saying some things and making the first move, it would have taken me awhile to be that brave!

Every situation is different!

 

[Wagamama]

if i felt it i would say it. easy as that....

 

[wvjules]

Originally posted by honeywolf7
He thought I said it the other day (I didn't) and asked me if I said it and I said that I didn't say it, but didn't say that I think I do love him.

Huh?

 

[honeywolf7]

Roger thought I said it and he said "you love me?" and I just said "That's not what I said....I said I missed you too" and left it at that.

 

[Saffron]

Oh go ahead, say it. Just don't say it if you don't mean it.

I don't think it matters who says it first, it only matters that you mean it when you say it. It may scare him off, but wouldn't you want to know if he feels the same before you get deeper into the relationship? But then again, don't listen to me. I know nothin' about nothin'.

 

[helenabear]

Being that I am always so afraid of rejection and all that I have never said it first. I have let them know that I truly cared in many ways, but the word "love" doesn't come out of my mouth easily in situations like that.

 

[honeywolf7]

Helenabear, same here but so much of me WANTS to say it when we are together. Even though Thom and I were married, I never truly felt this strongly about him (and yes, I know that means I shouldn't have married him but at 19 I didn't know what love was.)