why?????

[livie1205]

why do they allow some people to be parents!!! WARNING BIG VENT lol
I have 3 kids ds11,dss10 and dd2, well my dss was with his mom this past weekend and got sick (strep) well he was pretty sick and she told him be prob had step...she did NOT take him to the dr (we pay for very good health care so he has it) instead she drops him off at our house monday afternoon sick as a dog,couldnt swallow and all he wanted to do was sleep! well of course I took him right to the dr with no appt or anything and YES he has very very bad strep! because he did not go sooner he had to get a shot and be put on 10 days of meds....I got him jello,soup and gatorade and by the evening he was feeling much better.
I have other kids here and she just dropped him off to spread strep to everyone.That monday morning I offered to make him a drs appt so she could take him NOPE she was not going to take him because it was our day anyway!We have a urgent care that is open 7 days a week and co pay is only 10.00.
for a little back story...we are the only ones who have taken him to the dr for the past 2 yrs...even on her days.I love him and am not going to make him suffer so I do it.We switched his dr 2 yrs ago and she does not even know where the office is...
sorry guys just needed to vent a little I just feel for him...

 

[Poohbug]

I feel bad for the little guy too. I hope he is better soon and no one else gets sick. He is lucky he has you to take care of him and he will always remember that.

 

[trennr]

I co-coached Little League with a guy who has 5 kids. His Ex-wife is the same way. The step-mom treats those kids better than their birth mom.
High praises for good Step-moms.

 

[disneyJMD]

I am in the same position=Dss has quite the birth mother--My husband says she is just an egg donor! I admit she has gotten better over the last few years, but prior to that my DSS who was ten at the time came home and told me how he was looking at a naked woman magazine in his moms bathroom-she lived with several guys at the time. Do you think she could have maybe cleared that stuff up before he came to stay with her for the weekend? That wouldhave taken some thought I guess...

 

[sherreis]

I feel for you. Go ahead and vent. I'm a stepmother too and I always wonder what in the world my DH saw in his ex-wife. She was a rotten mother and DH ended up getting custody of his DDs so I raised them. They're 28 and 30 now and when they became young adults they realized that I wasn't the wicked stepmother anymore and that their mother was no prize. We always kept quiet in front of them.

I hope DSS is feeling better.

 

[livie1205]

thanks guys....he is better now and even back to school.when she picked him up I even sent him with a bag of meds,gatorade and soup just in case.This is the kicker,after she dropped him off here she went and got meds FOR HERSELF! Thats ok just found out the new husband is leaving her and she will not want to be saddled with taking care of him and he can stay with us so we know he is taken care of... I feel so bad for him because she just does NOT have it together, he needs his mom to be a mom, I am his sm but I know he needs his mom and its sad

 

[Tinkerbell_n_neverland]

I hear yah. Same kind of situation. SDD had strep . Called to check on her that night to find out the mother had sent her the neighbor's house. She had a fever earlier that day of 100.1. She was outside (sweating) playing basket ball for 2 hours the neighbor told us. Then went inside to watch a movie at the neighbor's house with her children. The mother never told the neighbor SDD was sick. The neighbor said the mother’s boyfriend was over SDD house the entire time. Way to prioritize. I don’t understand how some moms can put their kids on the back burners like that.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

why do they allow some people to be parents!!!

See - that's the problem. Anyone can have kids whether they're fit parents or not. My co-worker and I were just discussing this the other day. We're aides in a preschool class and we can't believe some of the things parents do! You have to have a license to get married and drive a car, but not to have kids. Heck! You even have to have a license to catch a fish!

I'm glad you DSS has you to take care of him!

 

[sherreis]

See - that's the problem. Anyone can have kids whether they're fit parents or not. My co-worker and I were just discussing this the other day. We're aides in a preschool class and we can't believe some of the things parents do! You have to have a license to get married and drive a car, but not to have kids. Heck! You even have to have a license to catch a fish!

I'm glad you DSS has you to take care of him!

My favorite thing was when we wanted to adopt a dog from the pound and they came out to inspect our home. My comment - was they do this for a dog but if it was a human it wouldn't be any problem.

 

[holly7347]

That is awful. I had strep earlier this year and it is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I started getting a sore throat Friday evening. Saturday and Sunday I had a fever but felt like I was freezing and my throat was so sore I couldn't even drink. I went to urgent care Sunday afternoon. I waited that long because I wanted to make sure it wasn't just a quick passing virus that they couldn't treat anyway. But no way in the world would I let one of my kids get that sick and refuse to take them to the dr. Hope he is feeling better quickly and no one else gets it. I remember they told me that I wouldn't be contagious 24 hours after the shot.

 

[MandM-Mom]

Glad your dss is feeling better I feel for your dss, its rough on him I am sure!

Just wanted to say that I am an adult child of a Mom just like that and when that child gets older and the Mom wants a relationship its going to be very rough on both. I resent my mother so much for how she was, but then have so much guilt about not wanting her to be a part of things now, I want her to be but I don't want her to disappoint my kids the way she did me, I want to protect them from that so I often block her emotionally and treat her more as an aquantance than Mom, I don't want emotions involved. Its her own fault, there was always something better waiting for her than family

 

[RobinFabulous]

I hear yah. Same kind of situation. SDD had strep . Called to check on her that night to find out the mother had sent her the neighbor's house. She had a fever earlier that day of 100.1. She was outside (sweating) playing basket ball for 2 hours the neighbor told us. Then went inside to watch a movie at the neighbor's house with her children. The mother never told the neighbor SDD was sick. The neighbor said the mother’s boyfriend was over SDD house the entire time. Way to prioritize. I don’t understand how some moms can put their kids on the back burners like that.

Well let's see almost dh's dd..... lives in the north GA mountains, very cold, in January we picked her up wearing SHORTS, in July she was wearing a courduory jumper.... In January we picked her up from school and the teacher ran to shake hands to tell us how nice it was to MEET us, her mother had not even BEEN to the school, Anything we send never gets sent back, she never comes with any clothing, I think the worst thing was the note in her backpack from the teacher asking that she PLEASE be sent in season appropriate clothing..... Or the fact that her mother OPENED her birthday presents that were sent by his extended family, or that she used the gift cards sent to the child on herself, or the time she refused to bring the child's backpack to meet us because she was getting her nails done, or her RETURNING gifts given to the child for cash to pay her own bills, or two Christmases ago at the last minute I found a hard to locate toy and paid extra on Ebay and overnight shipping to get it to her for Christmas (we're, of course, never allowed to have her on Christmas, only before or after) and her mother opened it and rewrapped it and put her own name on it.... or she refused to let us have her at Easter, then she didn't even get an Easter basket....... Or on her birthday her mother bought her gift from a yardsale.......And this woman gets GOOD child support. Plus we always buy her school supply list and backpack and help out with back to school clothing. For years he paid for health insurance that she never used, preferring to get Medicaid instead because there was no copay.... the list goes on & on...... I feel so badly for kids with parents like these, but we do what we can

 

[*Seanaci*]

Oy. I hear ya there. Our neighbor was in the same situation before they got custody of the son. As far as I know, he only sees his mom a couple weekends a month so they don't even have to worry about him going too long before seeing a doc if he gets sick.

Glad he's doing better though. Strep sucks.

 

[Tammysue5]

You are a good Stepmommy... I have been a step mom for 23 years... well, lets just say I have been a step mom for 17 years and a mom to them for 6!!! I struggled w/the step parent role.... I was young and could not imagine how the real mom could be like that. Well, I treated SSs like I did my own and when the one was 17 he called me mom and that is what I am. He ask me "when people ask you how manay kids you have what do you tell them,? "
I ask him what he wanted me to say... he said let them know that I am your son. They call me on my birthday every year... and never forget mothers day. The oldest one called 2 days ago to tell me I was a grandma! (he is stationed in ALaska)

I never had to tell him what his mother was...he realized in his own time.

Keep up the wonderful job... it will be worth it to both of you! Your other children will benefit as well. I love the bond our kids have w/each other. They are caring towards each other and you can tell that they are proud of each other.

 

[tinkerlisa]

why do they allow some people to be parents!!! WARNING BIG VENT lol
I have 3 kids ds11,dss10 and dd2, well my dss was with his mom this past weekend and got sick (strep) well he was pretty sick and she told him be prob had step...she did NOT take him to the dr (we pay for very good health care so he has it) instead she drops him off at our house monday afternoon sick as a dog,couldnt swallow and all he wanted to do was sleep! well of course I took him right to the dr with no appt or anything and YES he has very very bad strep! because he did not go sooner he had to get a shot and be put on 10 days of meds....I got him jello,soup and gatorade and by the evening he was feeling much better.
I have other kids here and she just dropped him off to spread strep to everyone.That monday morning I offered to make him a drs appt so she could take him NOPE she was not going to take him because it was our day anyway!We have a urgent care that is open 7 days a week and co pay is only 10.00.
for a little back story...we are the only ones who have taken him to the dr for the past 2 yrs...even on her days.I love him and am not going to make him suffer so I do it.We switched his dr 2 yrs ago and she does not even know where the office is...
sorry guys just needed to vent a little I just feel for him...

I get you on this! While she does not live with us anymore, my stepdaughter lived with us from the time she was 10 until she was 12(she's 16 now). Her father works at a casino and so does her mother. Anyhow, there is decent healthcare including DENTAL!!!
When DSD moved in, her teeth were ROTTEN!!! She had a total of 11 cavities! She had to have extreme dental work including extraction of a molar. My hubby had no clue she had never been to the dentist! She hadn't even been to a doctor since she was 5! He was always asking her mother if she takes her to these places and she said yes! But with the way DSD'S mouth was there was NO WAY!!! We took good care of her while we had custody of her and she is now on her own and takes care of herself although we try to help her out still. Her mother refuses to help. She even took her off her insurance!

 

[mjejj]

Oh my gosh!! I could have written all of these posts. My dss lives with us and my DsD lives with her Mom. The difference in the kids is amazing. The Mom has 4 kids by 3 guys and is now married to a crazy person who is just mean to the kids. I don't know how a parent would allow someone that cruel to stay in a house with her kids. I treat my DSS like he is my own and do everything from take him to the dr. to football practice to checking homework. He gets straight A's and I just get annoyed sometimes when his "Mom" takes all of the credit and says "Oh, he is my smart one." Yeah, he is smart, but it takes a lot of work to make sure homework is done and he is learning. Ughhhhhh! It is comforting to hear that there are other stepmom's out there in the same boat. We are not all evil (although, I do know a few who qualify in that category)!!!

 

[tinkerlisa]

I already posted something but wanted to add: SCHOOL!!! My DSD was going into 5th grade when she moved in with us. She was failing so bad, they wanted to keep her in 4th even though she had gone to summer school! Her reading level was that of a 1st grader. I actually think it was lower than that because my son is in 1st grade right now and can read better than she could! They decided to pass her socially and we worked so hard to bring her grades up. BY the end of the school year, she was a straight A student and her reading was right where it should be! Its amazing how much just a little bit of time went a looonnng way with her! Now she gets good grades and has realized the importance of school.
Also someone else mentioned clothes! We bought her 100's of dollars woth of clothes EVERY TIME we got her! Including 2 bathing suits that were mysteriously gone the next time we went to take her swimming. Her older sister who is fat(not trying to be mean), would steal her underwear
We found out her mom was throwing the stuff we bought away because it wasn't fair that my DSD got nice clothes from JCPenney and the like and her older sister(who is not my DH'S) was being bought clothes from Walmart!

 

[tinkerlisa]

Actually, I could go on forever about DSD'S mom! I won't though. All I have to say is even though DSD and I dont always see eye to eye, she always tells me I am the best mom she ever had!

 

[Chris]

How sad . I'm very glad he has you on his life.