Why would they do this--sports team related?

[undertheradar]

Here is the problem, the senior girl that has been judged and found guilty by some on this thread owes nothing to anyone other than her team. Neither she nor her family are indebted to the family members of her team. We have only received a biased, one-sided picture of this girl. Based upon the drama regarding the OP's high school threads on testing scores, financial aid and how this one high school in Minnesota that she refuses to name(others have in other threads) outperforms the rest of the schools in the United States and how kids with gpas that the OP knows aren't as high as others she knows, we can tell where the drama comes from. OP, glad your daughter is doing so well in golf. Please forgive the senior player who graduates today?

 

[golfgal]

Why put down the jv player? The "for her" is wrong. She participated with the varsity and I'm sure that her participation was required for your team to play. Perhaps instead of evaluating the jv player as something less, you should encourage the other players to work with her more, thus creating a stronger team for next season! Congrats that the whole team made it that far and good luck to all of the golfers at state.

It was not a put down, it was a comment toward someone that said she hoped that the JV girl did well, and she did do well for her playing level. It is no where near a put down, just an explanation.

As I see it, it was. To classify a performance for a team as being good for the weakest link(inexperience), is wrong. In the real world, you win or lose as a team, not as individuals. From the start of this thread and throughout, the OP has judged the senior player and the jv player as lesser participants than her daughter. Again, only the team members should be involved, not the family members who add all the drama.

I am in NO WAY involved in this drama except on this thread and I am STILL totally mystified WHY she would do that.

I've read most of this thread and am really shocked at the level of animosity shown to the senior girl. No one knows anything about her side and it certainly sounds like the OP has an axe to grind.

For all those exclaiming over her missing a tournament (congratulations to OP's daughter) that had some truly outstanding players for other teams that seemed to have much better scores than anyone on OP's daughter's team, I wonder if you've ever taken your child out of school for a WDW vacation. If you have, then you are guilty as you paint the senior player to be. Your child has a legal commitment to attend school and if you've chosen to remove them from school for an activity of your choosing, then you are dishonoring your commitment to their education.

See how crazy it is to speculate on other people's motivations and reasons.

I have no axe to grind and I have never taken my kids out of school for a Disney vacation

Not understanding WHY someone would do something does not mean I have an axe to grind, animosity nor am I judging someone. I am just mystified as to WHY. There is nothing wrong with that and for those that don't understand "commitment", I am really sorry.

 

[bumbershoot]

I am just mystified as to WHY. There is nothing wrong with that and for those that don't understand "commitment", I am really sorry.

Well, I assume the ultimate answer is...because someone in her family (whether that's the girl, her mom, her great aunt, her great great great grandfather or anyone else who has the power in her family to schedule her party) wanted to. Period.

And commitment towards a sport is good...but she also does have a commitment towards family, and let's face it, she was probably planning on HS graduation LONG before she hit HS and joined the golf team.

So you see her commitment to golf as being more important about everything else, while obviously she, or her family, feel the other way.

It seems to me that her future college soccer coach might like to know what this girl's likely commitment to the team is going to be - which is nil.

Hmm. Seems to me she's got at least two sports happening...seems soccer is more important to her since she's continuing it. So I can't see how her level of commitment to one sport means that the other sport automatically gets the same level...seems the opposite to me.



I personally rowed in Regionals instead of walking through my graduation ceremony. I felt that the graduation ceremony was silly (disliked my HS ceremony and this was just being held in the Fieldhouse of our gym, no biggie IMO) and rowing was much better. We got 4th out of 4 boats, so we weren't the brightest stars, LOL, but it was better than not rowing! And the other women in my boat were Juniors, so it would have impacted them quite a bit.

But I know there were other Seniors that walked instead of going to Regionals (two states away, by the way), and it wasn't a horrible problem.

Now I know you're not talking about graduation itself, but a party, but the graduation stuff CAN be so all-encompassing depending on family dynamics...unless you're there in her house, you just don't know anything other than...to someone in that house, this was more important than HS golf, and that's the end of the story.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

There's something to be said for not being willing to let other people down. This girl let her team down and that says a lot about her.

Seriously, don't you think that if there were extenuating circumstances that dictated the time of the party, she would have told her teammates? Don't they deserve to know?

No. They don't deserve to know. No one deserves to know anyone's family business.

 

[golfgal]

No. They don't deserve to know. No one deserves to know anyone's family business.

Usually I would agree with this but since there are 5 other people affected by this decision, I DO think they were owed an explanation. It's done and over and the girls and the coach stopped by the party on the way home from the tournament.

 

[Mermaid02]

No. They don't deserve to know. No one deserves to know anyone's family business.

Exactly. High School sports should NOT trump ones family celebrations/obligations. There must have been a reason the party needed to be when it was scheduled and nobody needs to know anymore than that. The other parents should just mind their own business and worry about their own kids values and character.

This whole conversation reminds me of Little League parents getting into fights at games..... of course this is golf and it's classier than that so I'm sure it's all hush hush whispers not a screaming match.

 

[golfgal]

Exactly. High School sports should NOT trump ones family celebrations/obligations. There must have been a reason the party needed to be when it was scheduled and nobody needs to know anymore than that. The other parents should just mind their own business and worry about their own kids values and character.

This whole conversation reminds me of Little League parents getting into fights at games..... of course this is golf and it's classier than that so I'm sure it's all hush hush whispers not a screaming match.

 

[Mermaid02]

Sorry, I think you are too involved in this. It's a high school sport- one that your child seems to excel at and that is great. You can't control what the other kids do. They don't have to live and play by your sense of right and wrong.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Usually I would agree with this but since there are 5 other people affected by this decision, I DO think they were owed an explanation. It's done and over and the girls and the coach stopped by the party on the way home from the tournament.

If it were "me" in the senior girl's shoes, knowing the girls for so long, I would've said something about it. Not out of a sense of having to, but out of courtesy. You have a relationship with people -- teammates, and there is a sense of obligation with a sport that involves a team. To me anyway.

It was nice of the girls and the coach to stop by the party. I'm sure they had mixed emotions about that.

 

[golfgal]

Sorry, I think you are too involved in this. It's a high school sport- one that your child seems to excel at and that is great. You can't control what the other kids do. They don't have to live and play by your sense of right and wrong.

Like I said, the only place I am "involved" with this is on this tread and answering questions/comments here. No, they don't have to play by my sense of right or wrong, but that still doesn't mean I can't be confused as to why they would do something.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

Usually I would agree with this but since there are 5 other people affected by this decision, I DO think they were owed an explanation. It's done and over and the girls and the coach stopped by the party on the way home from the tournament.

It is over, and I hope everyone moves on. More than likely the girls will, because in HS that's the way it goes. Fighting one day, best friends again the next.

Good luck to your daughter in the State tournament!
The first time I played a tournament at that level I completely collapsed . Sounds like she is more than prepared, though!

 

[golfgal]

It is over, and I hope everyone moves on. More than likely the girls will, because in HS that's the way it goes. Fighting one day, best friends again the next.

Good luck to your daughter in the State tournament!
The first time I played a tournament at that level I completely collapsed . Sounds like she is more than prepared, though![/QUOTE]

Let's hope so. Her coach is great. It will also help that they FINALLY changed the state high school league rules for this season and they allow the coaches to actually coach on the course. It was a silly rule all along--imagine a basketball coach sitting on the sidelines not being able to say a word to the team through the game. She has matured a lot with her game this year and it was really fun to watch her. Friday she played with the 2 girls she needed to beat to guarantee her a spot at state. She played a steady, smart game and got out ahead of the senior (who had been to state the previous 3 years) right away and was neck and neck with the junior. The other girl in their group came in with a 10 stroke disadvantage and wasn't going to make that up.

The senior kept fighting back and got within 3 strokes of DD and DD nailed a long birdie putt to this other girl's double bogey on the 14th hole and that was pretty much the end of it. It was really fun to watch her. They played Friday on the same course that hosts the state tournament so that is always an advantage. She loves that course because it is long and she hits a long ball.

 

[DizBelle]

No. They don't deserve to know. No one deserves to know anyone's family business.

She could at least have told her teammates that there were extenuating circumstances that dictated the time of the party without divulging any of the details. That would have been enough. She could at leave have made her teammates feel like she wasn't just blowing them off.

 

[crazee4mickey]

I am in NO WAY involved in this drama except on this thread and I am STILL totally mystified WHY she would do that.

Plain and simple...its none of your business! Wow...."except on this thread" where you have passed judgements on the girl and her family, questioned her winning an award that others obviously thought she deserved (but not you) and who knows what else has transpired over 21 pages!!

The girl owed you absolutely nothing , zilch, zero (she should've explained to the coach but doesn't need to explain to anyone else)...get over it, you seem to be obsessed about something that really is not your concern...

Its truly a good thing to be excited and proud of your kids sports and their accomplishments but from all you post on here you sound like one of those pushy sports parents who oversteps their boundaries....time to get over it as it didn't seem to have affected your daughter's ability in the tournament at all----again...GET OVER IT!

 

[golfgal]

Plain and simple...its none of your business! Wow...."except on this thread" where you have passed judgements on the girl and her family, questioned her winning an award that others obviously thought she deserved (but not you) and who knows what else has transpired over 21 pages!!

The girl owed you absolutely nothing , zilch, zero (she should've explained to the coach but doesn't need to explain to anyone else)...get over it, you seem to be obsessed about something that really is not your concern...

Its truly a good thing to be excited and proud of your kids sports and their accomplishments but from all you post on here you sound like one of those pushy sports parents who oversteps their boundaries....time to get over it as it didn't seem to have affected your daughter's ability in the tournament at all----again...GET OVER IT!

Right--again, this topic has not been discussed ANYWHERE by me but here-but you can think whatever you want.