why post on a public forum if you can't stand the heat?

[eliza61]

A very perculiar phenomenon happens on these boards that has me baffled.

We will post a vent or a complaint and if every one does not agree with the vent or offers suggestions (in general) how to handle the situation better. 9/10 times the Op will come back and say people are attacking them.

Isn't the point of a question or a vent to share information? I like hearing the good and the bad. Are we so sensitive nowadays that if every one doesn't agree with us we (Yes, I am including myself in the general "we" because I'm probably justa as guilty) feel "attacked"?

Just curious.

 

[Kies99]

I can't believe you'd post something like this!!

How insensitive!

How Rude!

You're completely WRONG!!!

I'm taking my toys and going home and not going to play with you anymore!!!!

 

[Angelhalo]

I haven't personally had a problem with anything said to me, BUT that said....my issue is that when someone titles a thread "VENT" to me that means they want to spout out their issue to feel better. When I vent I just want to yell and scream and blow off steam for a few minutes. I am not looking for suggestions of what I could have done better or what I should do next time. I'm not looking for advice. I just want to release. Thats what vent means to me. So Unless a person specifically asks for suggestions and advice in their vent thread, then I take it that they just want to vent. So I give them a virtual hug and move on my way. Thats why I would NEVER post a "Vent" thread here because no one else seems to understand that and I don't want tips, and advice. So I just do my venting to the dog.

 

[Jennasis]

Of course one should be prepared to hear (not accept) differing opinions. However, I see NO reason whatsoever for responding posters to be snarky, rude, condescending or just plain nasty in their replies...and that happens quite often.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Happens ALL the time.

Even in threads with 'WWYD', 'your thoughts...', 'did I cross the line', etc. in the title.

I can understand how an OP may become upset when there is strong disagreement with them. Everybody has feelings.

But, with the DIS being so 'controlled', 'censored' and moderated... My complaint is that you can't even disagree with somebody, use a little sarcasm, etc... And the whiners go running to the mods. The mods actually give points.

There are those who say let little kids fight their own battles (several recent threads on this) But, we are adults here, and I can hardly believe that there are those who go running and whining to the mods.... and the mods actually respond and 'discipline'.

IMHO, unless there is inappropriate language, a true personal attack, etc... this should be an open forum.
If one can't handle it... then they can easily hit the 'back' button and walk away.

 

[MoniqueU]

I just want to know why it is called a vent when everywhere else it is called a rant?

And I think some people are just short sighted and only see their side of the story and are shocked when people oon't agree with them.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Both vent and rant are valid, and even differing terms.

A vent is letting off frustration/steam/etc.... "Why me..." "Why are other people this way..."

A rant, IMHO, involves a more specific anger.... "I hate, hate, HATE, my MIL.... guess what she did now...."

Just my thoughts on the two terms!

 

[eliza61]

I can't believe you'd post something like this!!

How insensitive!

How Rude!

You're completely WRONG!!!

I'm taking my toys and going home and not going to play with you anymore!!!!

two dancing bananas for the laugh. You're a nut

I haven't personally had a problem with anything said to me, BUT that said....my issue is that when someone titles a thread "VENT" to me that means they want to spout out their issue to feel better. When I vent I just want to yell and scream and blow off steam for a few minutes. I am not looking for suggestions of what I could have done better or what I should do next time. I'm not looking for advice. I just want to release. Thats what vent means to me. So Unless a person specifically asks for suggestions and advice in their vent thread, then I take it that they just want to vent. So I give them a virtual hug and move on my way. Thats why I would NEVER post a "Vent" thread here because no one else seems to understand that and I don't want tips, and advice. So I just do my venting to the dog.

I never looked at it that way. I figure if I'm posting a complaint or vent on a public board I'm looking for responses, even if it's to blow off steam. Sure, it's nice to get a little sympathy but some times I get that kick in the "you know what" that says Nope, I'm wrong.

 

[Wishing on a star]

And I think some people are just short sighted and only see their side of the story and are shocked when people oon't agree with them.

This does happen very occasionally...
But, IMHO, the huge percentage of the time, the person is aware that they are posting a somewhat controversial situation, asking for thoughts... They actually think that everyone will jump to their support and give them kudos and pats on the back.... When this doesn't happen, as the OP stated, they can't take the heat... They go whining to the mods to shut down the thread... or this poster said so-and-so... etc...

 

[bicker]

One of my favorite online discussion maxims is that if you want an unrebutted soap-box for your own personal perspective, check into a blog. I do think, though, that some folks have a concept of venting that goes beyond what is reasonable to expect unlimited placation: Venting effectively ends when you attack someone or something else. As long as you're waxing poetically about how much you are unhappy, I think you can expect everyone to be on-board, sympathizing and supporting you. As soon as you ascribe blame onto someone or something else, then you're essentially opening yourself up for someone to disagree with you, and you definitely shouldn't be surprised to see them object to your so-called "venting".

 

[Wishing on a star]

After trying to decipher the 'bickerese', I think I actually agree with Bicker!!!

For example, If you vent about something, like "All these darned families who bring the whole crew shopping'..... Then, that goes beyond 'venting'... it brings up a quasi-attack on families and children.

That is not a vent... like, "I hate shopping on a busy Saturday, cause you can't even get thru the aisles.... etc..."

That is a rant about children/families.
And, that kind of rant will definitely get some hot replies.

 

[DawnCt1]

Of course one should be prepared to hear (not accept) differing opinions. However, I see NO reason whatsoever for responding posters to be snarky, rude, condescending or just plain nasty in their replies...and that happens quite often.

I agree. Someone asking for an opinion is under no obligation to agree or accept that opinion.

 

[Cool-Beans]

It would be so much easier if people would just put, "Please don't post if you don't agree with me," right in the title or first post.

You throw stuff out on a message board, you're going to get a bunch of different ideas. Some you'll like, some you won't. Nobody is under any obligation to use the ideas and I doubt anyone is offended when they don't.

But if you can't handle differing opinions, you should put that out there first. Kind of like the old, "Godless Heathens/Conservatives/Liberals...no debate please" threads.

 

[sbell111]

It would be so much easier if people would just put, "Please don't post if you don't agree with me," right in the title or first post.

You throw stuff out on a message board, you're going to get a bunch of different ideas. Some you'll like, some you won't. Nobody is under any obligation to use the ideas and I doubt anyone is offended when they don't.

But if you can't handle differing opinions, you should put that out there first. Kind of like the old, "Godless Heathens/Conservatives/Liberals...no debate please" threads.

Those people should post on a blog, not in a forum.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

It would be so much easier if people would just put, "Please don't post if you don't agree with me," right in the title or first post.

Do you really think that would stop people from sharing anyway? I think that would inflame people more because they'd said OP was trying to control the tone of the thread.

If you post, you will get varying opinions. Sometimes it's hard to hear. I think we just need to remember that there is actually a person on the other side of our post and we should try to be cognizant of their feelings, even if we disagree.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Do you really think that would stop people from sharing anyway? I think that would inflame people more because they'd said OP was trying to control the tone of the thread.

If you post, you will get varying opinions. Sometimes it's hard to hear. I think we just need to remember that there is actually a person on the other side of our post and we should try to be cognizant of their feelings, even if we disagree.

It really doesn't work, lol. I once started a thread and DID put "Post only if you agree with me" in the title, but it didn't work. People still said we should stay at the Poly instead of the AKL.

But if you post anything in Resorts that doesn't say, "The Poly is the best hotel in the history of Earth and better than all hotels in the future, too", you're going to hear it. Hell, one poster actually admitted that she WOULD rather step in dog poop at the Poly as their dog poop WOULD be superior to other dog poop.

But I think a lot of people would say, "Okay, she only wants people who agree, so I won't post" and stay out of the thread if that were there.

If you don't like what people say, blow it off. Or invite them to put on their Blistex so that they have nice, soft lips when they kiss your ***. But getting all worked up over what internet people say...go find something to do that doesn't upset you so.

 

[Kim&Chris]

JMO, but I think sometimes it becomes more than simply offering different opinions...it becomes posters blasting the OP (or other posters) with accusations, implications, assumptions, etc. It can turn a perfectly innocent thread into a mess.

Another thing is: sometimes it's difficult to intepret the message that either the OP or posters are trying to convey. Two people can read a sentence and interpret it in two entirely different ways. I think that issue comes into play quite often as well. Simple misunderstandings, unfortunately, can snowball into a mess as well

 

[wall*e2008]

A very perculiar phenomenon happens on these boards that has me baffled.

We will post a vent or a complaint and if every one does not agree with the vent or offers suggestions (in general) how to handle the situation better. 9/10 times the Op will come back and say people are attacking them.

Isn't the point of a question or a vent to share information? I like hearing the good and the bad. Are we so sensitive nowadays that if every one doesn't agree with us we (Yes, I am including myself in the general "we" because I'm probably justa as guilty) feel "attacked"?

Just curious.

I think many just want others to tell them they are correct and there is nothing wrong with their thinking or behavior, no matter how bizarre it is.

 

[wall*e2008]

I haven't personally had a problem with anything said to me, BUT that said....my issue is that when someone titles a thread "VENT" to me that means they want to spout out their issue to feel better. When I vent I just want to yell and scream and blow off steam for a few minutes. I am not looking for suggestions of what I could have done better or what I should do next time. I'm not looking for advice. I just want to release. Thats what vent means to me. So Unless a person specifically asks for suggestions and advice in their vent thread, then I take it that they just want to vent. So I give them a virtual hug and move on my way. Thats why I would NEVER post a "Vent" thread here because no one else seems to understand that and I don't want tips, and advice. So I just do my venting to the dog.

If I did something that caused the situation that I am venting I would like to see how I can prevent this situation from happening again. Just giving me a hug solves nothing and will cause history to repeat itself.

 

[wall*e2008]

one of my favorite online discussion maxims is that if you want an unrebutted soap-box for your own personal perspective, check into a blog. I do think, though, that some folks have a concept of venting that goes beyond what is reasonable to expect unlimited placation: Venting effectively ends when you attack someone or something else. As long as you're waxing poetically about how much you are unhappy, i think you can expect everyone to be on-board, sympathizing and supporting you. As soon as you ascribe blame onto someone or something else, then you're essentially opening yourself up for someone to disagree with you, and you definitely shouldn't be surprised to see them object to your so-called "venting".

ita