Why men cheat!

[olena]

So it's not emotional constipation?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING!!! What a bunch of baloney! as a previous poster said, with all the TV ads for male enhancement, I DO think that "rolling in the hay" is the number one most important thing to a man.

Now, men are simple, and sex is a big part of that, but men with integrity do not cheat, even if given many opportunities.

Yes, we are driven by our hormones - but we know better. The only question - is our character strong enough to either avoid or ignore temptation. When men cheat, it is because they failed that test of character, not because of something that someone else did or did not do.

This "man" does not once address their character or integrity...

 

[teacups]

men with integrity do not cheat, even if given many opportunities.

...absolutely . Now the next question is why do some women want to hold on to these men? And speaking of opportunity... let's not forget the skany women who love to get married men for the sheer victory of it. Not that they want them. They just like to prove (to themselves?) that they CAN take them.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...absolutely . Now the next question is why do some women want to hold on to these men? And speaking of opportunity... let's not forget the skany women who love to get married men for the sheer victory of it. Not that they want them. They just like to prove (to themselves?) that they CAN take them.

Let's be honest - these cheaters need a partner, and almost all of these partners are aware that the cheaters are married, so men cheating is not just a male problem. If these women had integrity, they would have never allowed it to happen.

The cheaters deserve all of the blame for cheating, but the women involved lack integrity, as well...

 

[sunnyday123]

From the Oprah website:

"What's the number one reason men cheat? Ninety-two percent of men said it wasn't primarily about the sex. "The majority said it was an emotional disconnection, specifically a sense of feeling underappreciated. A lack of thoughtful gestures," Gary says. "Men are very emotional beings. They just don't look like that. Or they don't seem like that. Or they don't tell you that."

oh poor, poor men, feeling underappreciated, and lacking in thoughtful gestures....are you flippin kidding me?? Sounds like an excuse for lacking in morals if you ask me.

 

[Bluestars]

Teacups, skanky women can only get skanky married men. There's not much victory in that.

People who cheat can give every excuse in the book, but it boils down to them making a choice to go outside their marriage. Nobody makes them do it. Nobody drives them to do it. Nobody is responsible for them doing it. I just don't know why anyone would want to stay with a person who is a cheater and a liar. I can't comprehend that.

Disneybamafan, you sound like a decent guy. There are actually decent men in existence.

 

[sunnyday123]

Let's be honest - these cheaters need a partner, and almost all of these partners are aware that the cheaters are married, so men cheating is not just a male problem. If these women had integrity, they would have never allowed it to happen.

The cheaters deserve all of the blame for cheating, but the women involved lack integrity, as well...

I do know some women who have the "if she can't keep him, I will" mentality....not as friends but as "know of them." I also know men who lie about their marital status.....I've learned that not wearing a band doesn't mean they aren't married. And that people armed with a phone book and gps can do anything!

 

[GoldieSaysMeep]

If these women had integrity, they would have never allowed it to happen.

I agree with this 100%

A male friend of mine recently told me he kissed (on the lips, not a friendly peck on the cheek like you'd give your mum) a female friend of his he's spending a lot of time with lately. He knows this woman has a serious live in BF & a small child. He said "it was nothing"

I was disgusted. I actually haven't talked to him since and I'm not sure I want to. I feel so bad for the woman's BF. He probably doesn't know. And before someone suggests it... I do not know the woman or her BF. I'm not getting involved but it's been bugging me since my friend told me.

 

[agnes!]

oh poor, poor men, feeling underappreciated, and lacking in thoughtful gestures....are you flippin kidding me?? Sounds like an excuse for lacking in morals if you ask me.

I guess if women are feeling unappreciated, that doesn't matter according to this 'expert' ?

A more important show would be "Why many DON'T cheat, why many WOMEN don't cheat, why many MEN don't cheat".

agnes!

 

[teacups]

. If these women had integrity, they would have never allowed it to happen.

..

I agree many times over.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I agree with this 100%

A male friend of mine recently told me he kissed (on the lips, not a friendly peck on the cheek like you'd give your mum) a female friend of his he's spending a lot of time with lately. He knows this woman has a serious live in BF & a small child. He said "it was nothing"

I was disgusted. I actually haven't talked to him since and I'm not sure I want to. I feel so bad for the woman's BF. He probably doesn't know. And before someone suggests it... I do not know the woman or her BF. I'm not getting involved but it's been bugging me since my friend told me.

Before I was married, my best friend invited me out one night. Now, we were tight. I was his best man, and my then GF (now my wife) was his wife's maid of honor.

So, we go out to a local pub that I had never been in. As soon as we walked in the door, he begins looking around. After about 15 minutes, 2 really good looking girls walk up. My friend gets up and gives one a hug and kiss, then whispers to me that the other girl was for me.

Now, we rode there together in his car. I pulled him over to the side and told him that I was calling a cab. He got scared and said that wasn't necessary - he would take me home. I apologized to the girls and left.

He dropped me off, only asking that I never tell anyone. I told him that I wouldn't tell his wife, but I was going to have to tell my GF.

Well, after I told my GF, we decided not to mention it to his wife, but I never went out with him without my wife again. Our friendship ended that night. That he would even try to pull me into his world of infidelity disgusted me. That he thought I might be interested made me wonder what I had said or done to give him that impression.

We have not seen this couple - both of our best friends (at the time) - for many years. I don't even know if they are still married, and I don't really care. I do not want this stuff in my life...

 

[N&B'smom]

I don't care what the 'reason' is, it's wrong and shouldn't happen. It's unacceptable in my eyes. Enough said.

 

[Floydian]

Why do men cheat? Weakness, stupidity, lack of integrity or morals or honesty or decency. I'm not really sure. I'm just going off my thoughts of the one time I strayed, "making out" with a former girlfriend at a time when I had a girlfriend. And I felt guilty about it...and had a good friend who made sure I didn't pursue it and do something I would regret even more...and I confessed it and was forgiven by the girlfriend (who eventually went on to become my lying, cheating, thieving ex-wife...heh...ironic?)

But what drives men to cheat? The thrills. The thrill of the chase. The thrill of the conquest. The thrill of getting away with it. Not one cheater I've ever known talked about emotions or any of that other garbage. It wasn't even about simply being with some woman. It was about being with a different woman, or several different women, or an endless string of different women. And if they could tack on getting away with something, it was even better.

As far as I'm concerned, the rest is bull. The other problems may exist, and would even be a reason to end a relationship if things were bad enough. But for cheating, they're nothing more than an excuse.

 

[Stacerita]

So it's not emotional constipation?

Let's be honest - these cheaters need a partner, and almost all of these partners are aware that the cheaters are married, so men cheating is not just a male problem. If these women had integrity, they would have never allowed it to happen.

The cheaters deserve all of the blame for cheating, but the women involved lack integrity, as well...

Not all the time. Sometimes they don't know that they are married. True there are some who do and don't care. But some of the times they are lied to just as the wife is being lied to. So I wouldn't assume all the women involve lack integrity.

 

[cheermom1]

Why do men cheat? Weakness, stupidity, lack of integrity or morals or honesty or decency. I'm not really sure. I'm just going off my thoughts of the one time I strayed, "making out" with a former girlfriend at a time when I had a girlfriend. And I felt guilty about it...and had a good friend who made sure I didn't pursue it and do something I would regret even more...and I confessed it and was forgiven by the girlfriend (who eventually went on to become my lying, cheating, thieving ex-wife...heh...ironic?)

But what drives men to cheat? The thrills. The thrill of the chase. The thrill of the conquest. The thrill of getting away with it. Not one cheater I've ever known talked about emotions or any of that other garbage. It wasn't even about simply being with some woman. It was about being with a different woman, or several different women, or an endless string of different women. And if they could tack on getting away with something, it was even better.

As far as I'm concerned, the rest is bull. The other problems may exist, and would even be a reason to end a relationship if things were bad enough. But for cheating, they're nothing more than an excuse.

WOW my sis and bil and I were just talking about this and this was exactly what we said it IS the thrill plain and simple!!!!

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

I think men cheat because they have no respect for their wives/partners and and a lack of morals. My father was a cheater and I never understood why my mom stayed, I could never do that. If my husband ever cheated, he would be gone, I wouldn't forgive that. We seperated in 2005 for about 6-8 weeks and his mother and a male friend of her tried to push a woman on him a few nights before he came home, I was sick and have no respect for her (MIL, I believe she was/is a cheater). Of course, he refused and quickly came home to me.

Suzanne

 

[Buckalew11]

Why do men cheat? Weakness, stupidity, lack of integrity or morals or honesty or decency. I'm not really sure. I'm just going off my thoughts of the one time I strayed, "making out" with a former girlfriend at a time when I had a girlfriend. And I felt guilty about it...and had a good friend who made sure I didn't pursue it and do something I would regret even more...and I confessed it and was forgiven by the girlfriend (who eventually went on to become my lying, cheating, thieving ex-wife...heh...ironic?)



But what drives men to cheat? The thrills. The thrill of the chase. The thrill of the conquest. The thrill of getting away with it. Not one cheater I've ever known talked about emotions or any of that other garbage. It wasn't even about simply being with some woman. It was about being with a different woman, or several different women, or an endless string of different women. And if they could tack on getting away with something, it was even better.

As far as I'm concerned, the rest is bull. The other problems may exist, and would even be a reason to end a relationship if things were bad enough. But for cheating, they're nothing more than an excuse.

Hi Floydian! Good to see you!! I am sorry that your marriage ended like that. I have no use for cheaters. I've been in the position to cheat myself and am proud to say I had enough integrity not to and also love/respect my DH not to chance losing what we have because of it.

Not all the time. Sometimes they don't know that they are married. True there are some who do and don't care. But some of the times they are lied to just as the wife is being lied to. So I wouldn't assume all the women involve lack integrity.

She might be lied to but how long does it take to figure it out? usually not long. And, if by then--unless you're fooled for 6 months or a year-- you don't have a lot of integrity to hopping in the sack so quickly either.
I think usually people will have affairs for revenge, lack of integrity, and becuase they want out of the marriage anyway.

 

[kirbsam]

it is not cheating. men need to have multiple partners. it is the way of nature. you cant fight it. men were never meant to be monogamous. only women should be. hey, i am just kidding. take it easy.

 

[Stacerita]

it is not cheating. men need to have multiple partners. it is the way of nature. you cant fight it. men were never meant to be monogamous. only women should be. hey, i am just kidding. take it easy.

 

[Floydian]

Hi Floydian! Good to see you!! I am sorry that your marriage ended like that. I have no use for cheaters. I've been in the position to cheat myself and am proud to say I had enough integrity not to and also love/respect my DH not to chance losing what we have because of it.







She might be lied to but how long does it take to figure it out? usually not long. And, if by then--unless you're fooled for 6 months or a year-- you don't have a lot of integrity to hopping in the sack so quickly either.
I think usually people will have affairs for revenge, lack of integrity, and becuase they want out of the marriage anyway.

Hi Brenda!! Thanks. I guess these things happen. All things considered, I should've known better based on history, so I don't even blame her now. If anything, I blame myself for my choices and behaviors that led to the end result. After all, I can only control who I am, what I do, and how I react. Sure, I'll never forget what happened, and I'd never trust her with anything that matters to me. But I've forgiven her in my heart and mind. I can't blame her for being herself and trying to be happy. I just don't like who she had become or what she did for happiness.

Oh, and I think "because they want out of the marriage anyway" was a big reason my marriage ended the way it did. It was like she couldn't end it herself, and just kept escalating things until I finally had enough. It makes me smile to imagine her thinking "What's it going to take to get this guy to end this?!?!" Sorry honey, I don't give up that easily.