Why don't kids talk anymore?

[Luv Bunnies]

I've been thinking about this question lately and figured the family board would be a good place to post it.

I've been noticing that many kids will point or use as few words as possible when requesting something and I'm wondering if there's a reason. For example, I've been spending one day a week working at an ice cream/bake sale to raise money for my sons' school. The school has grades from K to 6 and we get about 200 lining up each week to buy goodies. Some come with their parents and others come alone. I've noticed that when I ask a kid, "What would you like?" They will simply point to something or use as few words as possible. They'll say "cupcake" when we have several flavors sitting right in front of them. I've had to ask, "What kind would you like?" They simply say, "chocolate." When I reach for the nearest chocolate cupcake, they point to another one. We would avoid a lot of back and forth if they'd just say, "I'd like a chocolate cupcake with red sprinkles, please."

It's not just the little kids who don't communicate well. It's the older ones, too. I also volunteer in my sons' classes and help with reading and spelling. Some kids will hand me their paper and just say, "Help." I have to ask, "What do you need help with?" They say, "This" and point to their paper. There are about 20 words on the paper. Is there one they can't read? Can they read them all but don't know a definition? What specifically is the question? You practically have to pull it out of them.

Has anyone else noticed this phenomenon? Kids seem to talk to each other at great length about video games, TV shows, etc. But when it comes to ordering food or asking for help on an assignment, they can't seem to form a sentence.

I work in a preschool class for kids with language delays so I'm used to making sure they use words for everything. Am I just too sensitive to the subject of using language because of my job or are many kids just not learning to communicate well? I have lots of experience working with kids and I feel I'm very approachable so I don't think they're intimidated by me at all. Other parents in our school have noticed the same things. Anyone else noticed this?

 

[Not so Dumbo]

My kids are still young, so I haven't noticed it in their school yet. My DS4 is language delayed so I'm used to him not speaking very well. My older one sometimes likes to act like a baby and then will say things like "me want this" and I tell him he has to talk the right way. My guess is that they know they can get away with it, although I can't say why they would want to talk that way. lazy? I don't know.

 

[XYSRUS]

All kids are like this. I worked concessions forever and I got such a kick out of the kids. They'll spend their whole day and yours trying to decipher what they want and if they have enough money to buy it. Adults can be pretty intimidating some times. I love working with kids. They're a hoot!

 

[krissylynne]

All kids are like this. I worked concessions forever and I got such a kick out of the kids. They'll spend their whole day and yours trying to decipher what they want and if they have enough money to buy it. Adults can be pretty intimidating some times. I love working with kids. They're a hoot!

I have been a teacher for a while now. No, not all kids are like this. Yes the kids can talk all day long to their friends about whatever they want to. When it comes to talking to adults some shut down, they do not know how to use their words. Maybe their parents will speak for them, or they have not been told that if you need something like ordering icecream at sxhool that they need to speak. When our DD's language was developed well, she was tolld that she needs to talk for herself. When we would go out to eat she is resposible for ordering what she wants. As far as talking to adults, she has also been taught that if an adult approaches you that you do not know, then you look up at Mom and Dad to see if it is Okay to talk to them. We had an incident at a hockey game where a very odd man approached her and started telling her how pretty she was, then asked for a hug, and asked if he could sit with her. . She was uncomfortable, looked at us , we shook our head no, and she did not talk to him, we left.

It basically boils down to what parents want for their child to do. Its a matter of opinion.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well- I don't have personal experience here as my kids are yappers! I love their little voices! Anyway- I think the big problem is that kids are too wrapped up in cellphones and video games etc. to even know how to communicate. Just the other day dh and I saw 3 kids walking together and 2 were on cellphones. I think they don;t know how to talk to a live person. JMHO.

 

[Stitchfans]

so funny to see this post. I go through this every day. I work at our high school's cafeteria. My usual joke is that I am a mind reader. It is so common for a student to hand me some money and then just stand there and stare at me, meanwhile the line is getting longer and longer. I have to ask them what do you want and then sometimes they will point at a object and we go through the pick up each object until we hit the right one.

Or I get the student who changes their mind a dozen times before the make the "right decision" meanwhile totally messing up my register.

Or as said, I hear, chips. Which chips? I have quite a few to choose from. Or pop tarts. Again many flavors to choose from.

The only time I am safe is when they bring up the pizza, sandwich, wrap, or salad. Then we go through the salad dressing though.

I also have to remind most of them to take their milk or juice which comes with the meal. Also have to repeat how much everything is even though they just heard me tell the student right in front of them. Plus not to mention all the signs around with the price of items.

FUN FUN FUN!! I LOVE MY JOB!!!

Oh and let us not forget the, "can I pay you tomorrow for this?"

 

[KimR]

I don't think it's a trend, my guess would be that it's simplly due to shyness. My older two would talk to anyone, anytime about anything. If you would have ever come across one of them you'd wonder if they ever shut up! My youngest, on the other hand is very shy and I have to really work with her on looking people in the eye, speaking when she is spoken to, and basic social skills. Even when adults she knows speak to her she has a tendency to look away or put her face against my leg - avoidance. I am working with her on this and she is getting a little better, but I'd bet that many of the children you come across are simply shy and uncomfortable around adults they don't know well.

 

[WantToGoNow]

I also feel this probably has something to do with shyness. Whenever we go out to eat, my DS5 orders for himself. He is very social and will share our deepest family secrets with the first stranger he can find. DD2 on the other hand would starve to death before she told ANY stranger (and sometimes not even strangers) what she wants. Is it because she can't talk? No, she talks as well or better than DS5; it's just a personality thing.

 

[writersblock42]

my son is very shy and tends to not talk as much to people he is not comfortable with.

 

[Doc CW]

Maybe kids are just shy towards strangers because with their friends they feel secure, safe, and not put in the spotlight. where as a strnger or adult they have a chance of subjecting themselves to others and getting laughed at or doing something wrong. So kids feel a need to say little so as not to look like a fool.

 

[Gdad]

I've been noticing that many kids will point or use as few words as possible

I can't really comment- my girls have quite the opposite problem- I can hardly get a word in edgewise!

 

[sskem96]

My kids talk all the time at home, but they are REALLY shy around people they don't know. When DD7 was in preschool 2 years ago, I think it was spring before she ever said more than 2 words to her teacher! The teacher observed her talking normally to her classmates, but she won't do the same with grown-ups. Even now, if there were someone helping in class only once or twice a week, she probably wouldn't feel like she knew them well enough to talk to them.

We pretty much taught them to be seen and not heard when in public when they were little, and that you will learn more if you close your mouth and pay attention instead of talking all the time.

As far as the bake sale thing, maybe they're not used to ordering for themselves, or they aren't used to having several choices. It would be a good opportunity for the parent to teach them the proper way to ask for the one they want, but maybe mom's busy trying to decide what she wants or how much she should get, and it gets overlooked.

 

[Nynaeve]

Well, my daughter's a little chatterbox, she'll happily talk to anyone. We went out to dinner a few nights ago, and the waitress came up to introduce herself, and ask what we wanted to drink, telling the hubby and I that they had specialty beers and draft root beer. Before we can open our mouths, DD points to the waitress, and loudly says, "I want draft root beer!" She still has a little kid accent, and had no clue what draft was, but the waitress had no problem understanding her, and DD felt proud that she did it herself. She did the same thing with her dinner order, though we had to remind again her to say please, and not to point at the waitress' face.

But, sometimes she'll be the opposite, and totally clam up, and hang on my leg, but not all that often. She'd probably be a cupcake pointer too though.

I agree with a few of you here, IMO, it all depends on the child's personality, their mood and surroundings, and who's with them.