Why does it bother me so?

[rodgers5]

Respectfully snipped.

Normally I do go by that advice, and just let people be. I guess because we are so close to these friends (best friends long before kids, marriage, etc...) I tend to scrutinize them a bit more.

I also totally get the 2-faces of children type thing. Our 2 do their fair share of testing when others aren't around. But, as I said, we've spent week-long vacations with them without problem!

I guess it's just disappointing to me, because they've always talked about "family" this and "family" that, but when push comes to shove, it doesn't seem like they want a family at all.

I for one understand where you are coming from my best freind consantly talks about her kids like they are sooo bad. I've never seen it. And am the one who often watches her kids while she cant (doesnt want to ) take them here or there. I guess I expected more from her and often ask myself if later she and her husband will regret not spending these wonderful years with them. So for now I just enjoy them along with my own and tell then every chance I get how special they are and how much I enjoy having them with us. I love my friend and enjoy our relationship but sometimes : well I guess sometime it just comes down to peoples priorities. My husband and I do things with out our boys about once a month and really enjoy it but also really enjoy spending time with our kids.

 

[shortbun]

Every family is different. We tended to be much like you and found people with similar values. We found that we had plenty of us time without having to work for it and we didn't want or need that much. Now that our son is older, we have a lot more and it's nice but he still hangs with us and wants to more than most of his friends. When they(his friends) call him square for hanging with us, he says, " I love my parents and we want to spend time together, deal with it!" Btw, his friends like to hang with us too. We always have some kid calling our phones instead of his, just to talk, lol! Keep doing what you are doing. Don't push your children away but encourage them to be leaders, adventurers and comfortable with themselves. I did my kid and I personally find parents who disparage their own children to be disgusting, especially if it's a ploy for attention or an excuse to be selfish.

 

[pandora174]

What you are not seeing is how the kids may be behaving at home.

While it is unfortunate that they are bleeding and seething with negativity and disdain, they may have decided that enough is enough.

Many people in public think my kids are cute and adorable. But they do give me difficulties on occasion and I feel like I am mom to Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde's love children at times.

In any case--if they don't want to hang with their kids--that is up to them. It isn't like they are trying to get you to parent the same way. But if they are going some place kid-free and want to invite you a long--I'd be hunting down a babysitter quick myself.

I have learned that unless another parent is being directly harmful to their children--that how they parent is really none of my business and I can't let it affect me. If I did--it would drive me crazy...not to mention make me wonder about what people thought of me.

Sorry OT but I just laughed so hard I spit out my soda. You described my DS perfectly. In public, church, school he's behaves very well. Says hello to the mailman, the policemain etc & at home Definitely Dr Jeckly & Mr Hyde !!

OP, I see both sides. We take DS everywhere with us & that's our choice. Other friends of ours don't & they're kids are just as well taken care of & it's different parenting styles. I know I am overprotective but your friends just might be trying to have some quality couple time.