Why Do People Do This...?

[nmmom95]

Yes it sounds a bit rude, or pushy, or whatever you want to call it. But we were not there to hear the actual conversation. I do think sometimes people say things like this without thinking or realizing how they sound.

But the bottom line is, the simple solution for Megs is just to not go, and avoid the person (people) that she is annoyed with. Either that or just brush it off and go and hopefully have a nice experience at the shower.

I think this is especially true with family. When there is a party, sometimes it will go like this:
"I'll pick up the cake, Sue is brining the favors, Megs, you pick up Aunt Mille."

 

[WDSearcher]

Forget it.

I'm sorry, I didn't think I would or want to come off as whiny or like a complainer, but alas I did, and I wasn't going to do that here anymore. Carry on, sorry.

Yeah ... I was wondering about that, having read your earlier "OMG, I can't believe I sound like this all the time" post!

I think we all forget that the way things sound to us in our heads is not necessarily how they come across in print.

As for the shower ... I say pick up Aunt Millie. She may end up being a secret millionaire, and because you were nice enough to pick her up to go to the shower, she decides to leave you a little something in the will. Stranger things have happened ...

 

[kirbsam]

No, I was told.

I don't think she's elderly. DH thinks she's in her 60's. I don't think that's elderly.

Anyways, I don't know the whole story, just that I was told, "Megs, you are close, so you are picking up Millie" in an email.

it isnt a big deal. go back and read the thread where you were not going to come across as such a whiny, complainer. guess that didnt last long. time to start worrying about things that really matter in life and not get your undies in a bundle about nonissues.

 

[ksjayhawks]

I think it was rude of the person who emailed to tell you to pick someone up, whether you know that person or not. You should have been asked.

I would email the person back with "Due to work obligations, do not count on me to pick up Aunt Millie. You will need to find another ride for her."

If they email back and say to let them know, email the same thing--over and over and over.

 

[disykat]

Are there really people here who think it's neither rude nor pushy to TELL someone that they are giving someone else a ride?

I agree. I'd probably give the ride, and I'd probably enjoy getting to know Aunt Millie, but I'd still be annoyed.

 

[JessicaR]

"Megs, can you give Millie a ride since she lives near you?" doesn't take any more time or energy.

This.

It irks me to be told rather than asked to do something. I have a feeling if you were asked in the first place it wouldnt have struck you wrong to pick her up.

 

[focusondisney]

Forget it.

I'm sorry, I didn't think I would or want to come off as whiny or like a complainer, but alas I did, and I wasn't going to do that here anymore. Carry on, sorry.

I read your OP this am. I didn't think you sounded whiny. But then, I also hate other people telling me what "I" am going to do. Telling me, not asking me is a sure way to make sure I do just the opposite!

I don't think she's elderly. DH thinks she's in her 60's. I don't think that's elderly.

Since I'm in my mid 50's, I thank you for that!!

I think it was rude of the person who emailed to tell you to pick someone up, whether you know that person or not. You should have been asked.

I would email the person back with "Due to work obligations, do not count on me to pick up Aunt Millie. You will need to find another ride for her."

If they email back and say to let them know, email the same thing--over and over and over.

Great idea!

 

[hereyago]

OP: my now ex husband used to love to "volunteer" me for things without asking me.

So I would have to be the female dog and tell people no. And not little things either. like our friends were going out of town for 2 weeks and he told them "I" would watch their puppy. Ok, I had a baby, a puppy 1 month younger then the baby, I don't think I need more on my plate.

Or drive his friends some place. he always found people with no license no car. which was funny because he had no car either, I had the car. No I don't want to be alone in a car with someone I really don't know-from his work.

I finally told him if I wanted to volunteer, I would be a candy striper or join the Red Cross.