Who should I have in the delivery room with me? Who did you have?

[tiggerlover]

It definitely is a personal decision. I had DH and my best friend and I was glad it worked out that way. My friend was able to give me the compasion only another woman could, DH was helpful, but he wanted to "take care of me" and there were times I needed the compasion. So for me it was a good balance. I had my son when I was in Italy so I didn't have to make the choice you are faced with. If I were in the states it would have been my DH and my two sisters.

Good luck with your decision, it certainly is a hard one given the feelings involved.

 

[Kitty 34]

My first son, I had my SIL in with me.

My other two sons, just my DH.

 

[Suzy Mouse]

Here is a tip for you that we did...actually pretty funny story.

I brought in a small tape recorder and audio taped the birth. I turned the tape on after an hour and a half of pushing. After another hour of pushing the tape went off (the recorder was taped to my pillow) I told everyone to stop what they were doing, turned the tape over, fast forwarded a bit, pushed record, and told everyone they could continue. Next push and out she came. Everyone was hysterical at what they just witness me do!!

It's great to listen to that moment whenever I wish to. It's not like I could pull out a video and have people watch the birth. But I can pull out this tape whenever!!

 

[becka]

Here was my theory.

If you were present at the conception you were REQUIRED to be present in the delivery room.

If you were not present at the conception and/or you do not have a valid medical degree you were NOT AUTHORIZED to be in the delivery room.

It worked for me!

 

[evilqueenfan]

I just had DH with me for the births of my two children. It was an awesome private experience between the two of us. Immediately after everyone else was invited in.

 

[aprincessmom]

I had my xDH with me and sometimes I even regretted asking him to join me

Seriously, it was hard enough labor and finally c-section without having to entertain while I was giving birth. I think the fewer people around, the better it is for everyone. You have the child's whole life to expose him or her to crowds

 

[luv2nascar]

only had DH there
will only have DH there this time also
MIL & daughter will be at hospital and come in shortly after the actual birth
I feel dd at 8 will be to young & I have discussed with dd and she agrees to this

 

[suzannen]

I actually think becka's idea is the best!

I vote for DH only for two reasons:
1) In the birth of my 1st DD, although the labor was really fast, the cord was wrapped around her neck, she was blue and had to be rushed into an incubator. With others in attendence, the "freakout" level is much higher. A similar thing happened to my friend helping her daughter give birth and when things did not go well, she and the MIL lost it. In hindsight, she said she wished she had not been there. Although every thing turned out okay, she will forever associate her grandson's birth with a negative feeling and she cannot bring herself to ever watch the videotape of it for the same reason.

2) Ditto the idea that this is something extra special between you and DH. My DH was so incredibly moved, he cried. He would have been too embarrassed to show those emotions if either his mother or my mother had been there. (Not to mention putting pearls around my neck moments after.) It's a very special moment to bond as an immediate family.

Also ditto some of the unexpected not nice things that can happen during labor. Do you really want your MIL or FIL remembering that every time they look at you??

 

[Tiiiigergirl]

I am an adoptive mother and will probably never get to witness the birth of a child. But I also vote for just you and DH. Just because your mother did not get to be there for a birth of child doesn't mean she should get to be there for the birth of yours. We all don't get to have every experience in this life. I think it would be a very special time with just you and your husband. Just the perspective of this adoptive mother.

 

[Sonya]

Thank you everyone! I can't believe the response! You all have provided some very good and valid arguments for and against and that was exactly what I needed to clear my head. I had wasnted a woman and a friend to confort me the way only a woman could another but I don't think my mom is it. I hadn't thought about what the others would do if there was a problem and so sis-in-law is out. So it's just going to be DH and me. It will be a very private moment only us 2 ( and a bunch of Drs and nurses ) will share. Mom called last night and I told her the hosp. will let anyone in during labor but it was going to be just me and DH during delivery. She took it well. Hardly even batted an eye.

And thanks for your perspective Tiiiigergirl. That helped.

Thanks so much everyone!

 

[suzannen]

Of course, Sonya, we do expect your DH to have some elaborate computer hook up so the entire DIS Community Board can be there!

 

[Chattyaholic]

I voted for just DH. If your mom might cause you anxiety, don't ask her. Now when I had my children they were just beginning to allow husbands in the delivery room, so I didn't have a choice of asking anyone else. When my DS and his wife had their two I wasn't asked to be in the room, but neither was her mother so it didn't make me feel bad or anything, no problem at all. Now, if and when my DD has a child I will hope to be asked into the delivery room, but if not that's fine too. It's their child, and their decision on who, if anyone, to ask to witness the birth.

 

[Sonya]

LOL suzannen!