Who here has adopted or is adopting?

[Amberle3]

I've thought about adopting. Obviously not right now, as DFi and I aren't married yet. But we both very much want children, and we're not sure that I'll be able to have children of my own. If that turns out to be the case, I'm sure we'll look at adoption. I can't imagine not having a child, although for quite a while I tried to convince myself that I didn't like children and would be quite happy not having one (in case it turns out that I can't have any, I didn't want to be totally devastated).

 

[Thumpersmom]

Thanks for sharing your stories. We have one DS who is 8 and are undergoing fertility treatments now. I spoke to my Dr. and told him two more cycles and I am done. I think it is a ton of money to spend and we have talked about adopting. It is very encoraging to hear everyone happy with their decisions!

 

[hipporina]

zagafi - It's interesting to me that you went through fertility treatments after adopting, because we are talking about the same thing. I love all of my children very much, but I still have a huge desire to have a baby. I want the experience of pregnancy and a baby (all of my kids were bigger than that already). We have been seeing a new fertility doctor and should be going back soon. We started going before we knew we were getting Kathryn & Daniel and have been "benched" for a month so dh can take some antibiotics. Perfect timing as that was when K & D came to live with us! We are supposed to go back, but I have been afraid to. 4 kids is alrady a lot, but I'm pretty sure God has more in mind for us.

Thumpersmom - Best of luck with your fertility treatments. Adopting is such a wonderful thing and I dont know anyone who regretted adopting.

Wonderful stories, I can't wait to hear more!

 

[Tantorini]

we are currently awaiting the referral of two children from Kaliningrad Russia..

we hope to get the call before the end of the year

we can't wait!

(oh yeah and my husband was adopted as an infant, and my cousin as well... so we're a pro-adoption family all around )


beth

 

[HollyNEd]

How funny to see this thread today! Dh and I are in the process of adopting our DS7 and DD5 from the foster care system and just this afternoon the love of all 4 of our lives (foster baby who we had only 2 months but loved more than anything) came back home to us!! We have been told that DS 8months will be available for adoption probaly in the next few months so now we just have to wait on the judge in his case and in our other 2 childrens cases to rule and our family will be complete (hopefully )



Holly

 

[wuv tigger]

and we have 2 adopted daughters

both domestic

both placed w/ us before they were a month old

now 4 3/4 & 2 1/2

they truly are blessings

most times, but NOT when the oldest one thinks she is "helping" by removing the wallpaper from their bathroom ... even though I wasn't tackling their bathroom 'til the spring ...

her version is "I wanted to help you so you could paint it princess pink" ... now where did she get the princess idea from?

 

[zagafi]

Originally posted by Amberle3
I've thought about adopting. Obviously not right now, as DFi and I aren't married yet. But we both very much want children, and we're not sure that I'll be able to have children of my own. If that turns out to be the case, I'm sure we'll look at adoption. I can't imagine not having a child, although for quite a while I tried to convince myself that I didn't like children and would be quite happy not having one (in case it turns out that I can't have any, I didn't want to be totally devastated).

PSSST...once you adopt a child he or she is most definitely YOUR OWN! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[zagafi]

Originally posted by hipporina
zagafi - It's interesting to me that you went through fertility treatments after adopting, because we are talking about the same thing. I love all of my children very much, but I still have a huge desire to have a baby. I want the experience of pregnancy and a baby (all of my kids were bigger than that already).

Yeah, ours has been a long, interesting ride. I can't imagine it having worked out any other way, though. The main reason we did IVF now as opposed to adopting again is financial--we live in a state with mandated infertility coverage. We get 4 attempts at IVF under our insurance (luckily our first worked swimmingly), so we felt like we'd be foolish not to try.

After I had a (literal) near death experience after an ectopic pregnancy ruptured in '92, I had *no* desire to try to get pregnant. NONE. I was petrified! Adoption was the right course for us--I have no doubt about it.

It took us a looong time to decide that we wanted another kiddo. Zane's a great kid and we were afraid to stir the proverbial pot. Well, we stirred the pot and good. You can't beat a two for one deal! LOL!

I checked on the kids the other night before turning in, and walked out to the living room (where dh was undoubtedly watching the History Channel) and announced, "We have THREE KIDS! How did that happen?" It's still so strange to think about. In the not so distant past we thought we'd never be parents, and now here we are three times blessed.

 

[2BigKIdz]

I just want to say thanks for this thread. I was feeling a little down because I found out yesterday yet another friend is pregnant. Although I am always happy for friends/family who are expecting I can't help but feel a little jealous and sad that it will never be me. My husband and I want to adopt (thanks to hipporina for all the advice she has given me) but I don't think he is quite ready yet. Maybe I should let him read this thread.

 

[Micheme]

2BigKidz

I think most of us can relate to your feelings, I can only speak on my own experience but I felt the same way every time someone i knew got pregnant. I kept saying 'why will it not work for me, when I want it so much'. It is so hard but it will get better.
I know when I decided to end fertility treatment and find my "forever family" I knew that it was what was meant to be for me. And now when I look at my beautiful daughter and she runs to me for a hug and kiss, it was all worth it, even the tears and sorrow.

Show this thread to your hubby I think he would find it very informative.

 

[nealymouse]

We have 3 adopted DD's ages 10 11 and 15.

 

[miche61]

I am loving re-reading all of this thread.

My children are all blessings. I always tell my children that God answers your prayers, they just may not be the answers you had in mind. I prayed to be a mom, and I became a mom. Not by becoming pregnant, but by the grace of God through not just one wonderful woman, but through two. My children were always my children, before they were born, before we met them at the ages of 3 and 4 for the youngest two.

I tell my friends, adoption is not the last choice, it's just another choice. DH would have been okay with no children- not me. After first DD, he would have been good to stop there. But now that we have three, our life is truly complete.

Good luck to all those in the process, thinking about it, or those who know someone who adopted. When we were in Russia, one of the couples with us were also adopting a boy and a girl. The mom asked why it was those of us who desparately wanted children couldn't get pregnant? I asked her, "Then who would love our (new) children?"

Sorry this is so long. Adoption is a passion, and perimenipause is the driving reason behind this post.

 

[lts862]

Another adoptive family here! DH and I adopted 2 beautiful children from Korea. Matthew who is 4 years old came home to us at 4 months of age and Stephanie who is 22 months old and came home at 5 1/2 months. Both are blessings to our family!

 

[LIDisneyFan]

BTW, if you are thinking of adopting, oroin the process, and feel that it would never actually happen for you -- -it will.

Our attorney told us that when we were adopting DD now 12 - and of course we didn't believe him. But it WILL happen it you really want it.

So never lose hope.

 

[ksjayhawks]

We had just purchased our first house and first dog. Were thinking of having a baby in the near future, when . . . surprise, we were pregnant! Blessed with a DD now 27, married and has given us a DgD age 21 months.

After that we could not get pregnant. Went thru infertility treatments--no luck. Were close on domestic adoptions--birth mothers decided to keep the babies. Got on one list--never moved in two years. Finally heard about Holt International and called them and they were eager for parents!

9 months after the paperwork started, our DS (now almost 12!!!) came home to us from Korea at the age of 3 1/2 months. He came in February, right before Valentine's Day. He was scheduled to come in May, but due to some of the other children being sick, he got bumped way up the list! We got a call one week ahead.

So within a week DD and her friend and I put together the crib, made the bedding, and tried to find winter clothes--especially a snowsuit--all the time not knowing how big he was! (We also fit in 3 basketball games). But we did it and he loves to hear the story of his arrival to his forever home! Plus we celebrate "gotcha day" every year!!!


Sidelight--one of our good friends was adopted and he came to the airport with us that night. His wife came up to me later and thanked us for having them there. His mother had recently passed away and seeing the the joy on our faces when they placed our son in our arms brought tears to his eyes. It made him feel more connected to his parents.

 

[BWVDenise]

All 3 of our kids were born in Korea. Our oldest is now 10 yrs!! Where did the time go? He arrived when he was 4 months old (and a whopping 19 lbs! ) Our dd was just under 4 months when she arrived, and our youngest was 15 months old since he was a "waiting" child (his arrival was the fastest, though, only 4 1/2 months!)

 

[Kim in TN]

I don't know how I missed this thread, but glad I found it.
We adopted a wonderful little guy from Almaty, Kazakhstan.

Our process started with a many discussions with DH and myself saying when we decided to start a family we would choose adoption first, because DH's mother was adopted and also my Great Grandmother. So last New Years Eve I was home sick with a virus, with to much computer time on my hands, so I got to doing some reading and found some photo listings (precious.org) and there he was...Our Son. We spend the entire year working hard gathering paperwork and on January 8th, 2004 we left to US to unknown terriority to begin our journey, now to know DH and I you would know what a feat that was. We aren't international travelers, and DH hates to fly. The farthest international we had been prior to that was the Bahamas (Disney Cruise LOL) and the DH hates flying part was because of a bad stormy flight to Orlando.

So we left all we had ever known to spend 8 weeks, yes thats right 8 WEEKS in a country that speaks little english. We aren't very adventurous and if we weren't at the orphanage, we were in our apartment watching russian television, we did see Mulan and the Lion King dubbed in russian. I was very thankful I hauled my laptop so we could watch the several movies we took.

We visited the orphanage every day for about 58 days on the 59th we got our son and on the 60th day we flew home with a child who had been in our possession only since the day before, and we headed out for our 27 hours worth of flights and layovers, note he only spoke the little english we had taught him otherwise he spoke Russian, and we knew limited Russian. We did make it through the long flight home and home never seemed so good!!!

Andrew had done fantastic and its like we have always been a family. He was 4 years old when we adopted him. His birth name was Andrey Alexovich we changed it to Andrew Cole.
And we've been hom 6 going on 7 months now.

Its been amazing to see the joy in his eyes to see all the things he had never seen, things we take for granted, such as a car ride, ice cream, your own clothes, light switches LOL, toilets flushing , dogs he was terrified at first, I could go on and on...

Our first week there the translater told us, Andrew's dream, to come to America and see the ocean and to see Mickey Mouse's doma (russian for house). DH and I looked at each other, did we hear that our future (at that time) son wanted to see Mickey's house??? Yep thats right the week we met him he asked the translator if we could go to Disney World. Yep we were meant to be a family, so this Halloween, Andrew's first Halloween ever , we will spend it a Mickey's House and on the day of our 8 months of being a family, DH and I will celebrate our 10th Anniversary.


Thanks for allowing me to share our family's story.

The photo below is Andrew's referral picture

 

[RUDisney]

Kim, just wait until you and your little guy get to go to Mickey's house. We spent our first Gotcha Day there and are now going for our third one.

We had been selected to be the parents of Katya and Vladislav in March 2001. Katya was beautiful with her black hair and blue eyes. We never did see a picture of Vladislav.

From the first time my DH saw Katya's picture, there were two children in it with her. He said, "I want that boy." We told him that he was promised to another family and this was going to be our DD. In May of that year, we were told that Katya's mother and grandmother were schizophrenic. That ended that adoption, as even PA wouldn't have allowed it to be finalized.

DH says, "what about that boy that was in the picture with her?" "He's promised to another family," we were told.

The children were to come to the US in July and stay until mid-August. It was a test drive for both the children and parents. We had resolved ourselves to the fact that when our home study was done, God wanted us to find an infant and a toddler. We were ok with that, even though we wanted older children. Whatever God wants is what we will have.

When our homestudy was done in late July, DH took it to the agency and told Tatiana to book our flights. But, before he left, he asked if there were any children here for the summer that weren't placed with the right parents. She told him there were 8 of them. He asked to see pictures and was shown a picture of Ivan and Kristina. He told her, "these are the kids we've wanted all along."

After waiting for the other family to decide what they wanted to do, we picked up our kids, Ivan with pneumonia, on that Sunday night. We spent our first morning in the hospital ER getting xrays and new drugs. The other family took him to a family friend who didn't take xrays and gave him adult strength drug samples. UGH!

The kids were with us for 3 weeks and then had to go back to Bryansk, Russia for 2 months before our court date was set.

We were two people who had no desire to have an encounter with a delivery room, but we wanted our own children. This was the best alternative for the 4 of us.

 

[chrissyk]

We're have a biological child first, and then we're only adopting from there I always thought that we'd do international adoptions, but I'm also open to adopting through DSS.

On that note, I have a question for anyone who has adopted through DSS. Did they tell you why your children were removed from the family of origin? I've read too many websites about DSS overreaching their bounds/falsifying evidence in terminating parental rights, and I guess I'm nervous because of that.

 

[hipporina]

chrissyk- We adopted from CPS (I imagine that is our state's version of DSS) two times for a total of four kids. The way they do it here is after they choose you for the children, you get their entire file to read. It has all the information about why they were removed, the investigations, and their time in foster care. They have you read it front to back and ask questions before you commit to the kids. In my experience, they are more likely to NOT remove children from a bilogical home that should be removed than they are to remove children that shouldn't be. There are so many children waiting to be adopted that desperately want forever families, and there isn't anything to worry about. Just be sure you take adoptive placements, not foster kids if you want to be sure they won't leave.