Where's the common sense?

[cdnjason]

Yeah, I don't feel comfortable sitting, while a lady stands. I agree with gender equality. But, I also believe in being a gentleman.

 

[Shanti]

There's no reason for a man to give up his seat to an able-bodied woman. This isn't the Titanic.

As a single mother who struggled for years to rear a (gentlemanly) autistic son, along with working long hours as a schoolteacher at the same time, I will say that it has nothing to do with being "capable". It's just a courtesy. Let's not try to stamp out any of our culture's remaining courtesies. Doing so will not advance women's rights in the slightest. I'm glad that chivalry isn't dead.

 

[CallieS]

I was in Animal Kingdom a couple months ago, walking towards Dinosaur. A woman shoved past me. She literally hit me as she walked quickly past me. There was plenty of room around me, but I guess I was in her shortcut path to the ride. She went into the Fastpass line, and I was right behind her. Let's say it was 11am. The cast member said her Fastpass was for 12-1pm. She said, "No, it's for 11-12." He said, "No, it's for 12-1, you're an hour early." So she had to get out of line.

Let's analyze this. She believed her fastpass started at 11am. It was currently 11am. It's not like she was going to be late. Then to top it off, she was actually an hour early. Where was the need to push me aside? That was one of the rudest encounters I've ever experienced.

Then there was the family on the bus, all standing, the parents had their heads buried in their phones while their kids kicked each other (and my husband), and the kids were pushing on the doors at the back of the bus. All the while the parents were conveniently ignoring them. After about the third time my husband got kicked, I told the parents that their kids were kicking my husband. The dad said, "I'm sure everyone is okay."

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

My personal pet peave are able bodied men who do not offer a seat on a bus to a women or a child who is standing.

Men take note.

I have to say that I'm on BOTH sides of the fence with this one.

First off, I'm a man in my late 30's. I, without question, would give up my seat to (a) a visibly pregnant woman, (b) an elderly man or woman, (c) any visibly disabled person whether temporarily or permanently (d) a small child (by this I mean a child still in diapers, so like around 3yo or younger). And if they declined to use the seat I was offering I would probably still stand leaving that seat empty.

I was taught by my father and grandfather to give up my seat for any woman regardless of their age. But I think society has changed a bit since I was a child. I suspect some of the women that expect a man to give up a seat for them are the same ones who will say things like:
-"I don't need a man to take care of me"
-"men and women are equal and should be treated as such"
-"don't insult a woman by assuming she needs help doing or can't do things that, years ago would have been considered a man's job."

Just to be clear I am all for women's rights.(equal pay, ending discrimination, etc.)

Now I know there's the additional element of chivalry. But chivalry my friends is most certianly a lost art.

 

[Shanti]

I was in Animal Kingdom a couple months ago, walking towards Dinosaur. A woman shoved past me. She literally hit me as she walked quickly past me. There was plenty of room around me, but I guess I was in her shortcut path to the ride. She went into the Fastpass line, and I was right behind her. Let's say it was 11am. The cast member said her Fastpass was for 12-1pm. She said, "No, it's for 11-12." He said, "No, it's for 12-1, you're an hour early." So she had to get out of line.

Poetic justice.

Then there was the family on the bus, all standing, the parents had their heads buried in their phones while their kids kicked each other (and my husband), and the kids were pushing on the doors at the back of the bus. All the while the parents were conveniently ignoring them. After about the third time my husband got kicked, I told the parents that their kids were kicking my husband. The dad said, "I'm sure everyone is okay."

Welcome to my world. I'm a schoolteacher. Imagine what teaching the kids of these parents is like. Then having to call home after a kicking incident at school, and deal with those parents who are outraged that their child is in trouble.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

That old fashioned gesture is not always so appreciated. My DH got told off on a Disney bus for offering his seat to a pregnant woman. She smartly informed him that pregnancy was not a disease and that she ran 5 miles a day and certainly could hold up her own weight on a bus, thank you very much. He felt really embarrassed by the whole episode.

That woman acted like a moron. She could have politely declined. I'm willing to bet that when she got closer to the 40 weeks mark she would have appreciated that seat and accepted it with a "thank you"

 

[ArwenMarie]

That old fashioned gesture is not always so appreciated. My DH got told off on a Disney bus for offering his seat to a pregnant woman. She smartly informed him that pregnancy was not a disease and that she ran 5 miles a day and certainly could hold up her own weight on a bus, thank you very much. He felt really embarrassed by the whole episode.

That was rude of her. A "No Thank You!" would have sufficed.

 

[cdnjason]

@Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL that's exactly what I do. I stand, and let the lady decide whether she wants to take the vacant seat. If not, so be it. It remains vacant.

 

[psimon]

My constant observation last week was that people refused to let me out (of anywhere, be it the restroom, the bus, a store, etc) before they tried to get in. At the extreme, the location will fill up and no one will leave. Just seems like common sense, let people out first!

I know, silly me.

---Paul in Southern NJ

 

[jknc]

I'll give up my seat to anyone standing be they female, male, young, old, vaping, cat loving, dog loving, wearing ear plugs, rocking an I.O.U sweatshirt, smelling like a sewer, I straight don't care.

But the last thing you should be is offended at my offer.

 

[Praying Colonel]

That old fashioned gesture is not always so appreciated. My DH got told off on a Disney bus for offering his seat to a pregnant woman. She smartly informed him that pregnancy was not a disease and that she ran 5 miles a day and certainly could hold up her own weight on a bus, thank you very much. He felt really embarrassed by the whole episode.

Whenever I get on mass transportation I just get on and stand up until everybody's on. If there's a seat, I'll grab it at that point. But the whole idea of policing who should be standing and sitting is kind of silly IMHO. We don't know what's going on with that other person, and getting upset by it doesn't do anything productive, either.

 

[mom2rtk]

That old fashioned gesture is not always so appreciated. My DH got told off on a Disney bus for offering his seat to a pregnant woman. She smartly informed him that pregnancy was not a disease and that she ran 5 miles a day and certainly could hold up her own weight on a bus, thank you very much. He felt really embarrassed by the whole episode.

He shouldn't be. She sounds like a miserable person. I don't care how she feels about it. She should have politely said "No, thank you" if she didn't appreciate the offer.

 

[serenitynow]

He shouldn't be. She sounds like a miserable person. I don't care how she feels about it. She should have politely said "No, thank you" if she didn't appreciate the offer.

I agree with you, but he is a nice Southern raised (yes ma'am, no ma'am) guy who hates a scene.
I don't think anyone had reacted that rudely to him in public before, so he was mortified to be on the receiving end of such a public scolding. Especially on a nice, quiet, enclosed bus full of onlookers.

I just whispered "pregnancy hormones" in his ear to try and make him feel better.

 

[Srbright]

Small children that have to be held onto, yes, and especially if it's one parent with multiple small children. At least in NYC they do.



There's no reason for a man to give up his seat to an able-bodied woman. This isn't the Titanic.

Could not agree more. People that need a seat (pregnant, elderly, limping, etc); but to an able bodied woman just because it's a "her"? Nope, I always say "no thank you" and continue standing.

Stacy

 

[Srbright]

That old fashioned gesture is not always so appreciated. My DH got told off on a Disney bus for offering his seat to a pregnant woman. She smartly informed him that pregnancy was not a disease and that she ran 5 miles a day and certainly could hold up her own weight on a bus, thank you very much. He felt really embarrassed by the whole episode.

Seriously? Even I draw the line at pregnancy. I don't know anyone who ran while pregnant (even our fitness class teaching person here at work). She must have had a bad day.

Stacy

 

[disneyseniors]

Just something to think about: My husband, age 69, just had complicated back surgery. We are going to WDW in Nov. if the doctor okays it. He will still need to walk slowly, and he will need to sit on the buses. He looks younger and healthy; however, looks can deceive. I know him and he will feel like he has to stand up for a lady even if his back is killing him and he knows he is not supposed to!
So, please, I hope no one takes offense when he sits on the bus. By the way, I have an invisible disease and you should see the looks I get when I park in the handicapped slot, even though I have a permanent sticker to park. I guess what I am trying to say is that not all people, men included, are as healthy as they look.
I just hope we can go to WDW in November with restrictions; it is our happy place

 

[HollyL]

What got me was how incredibly rude people were in the MK parking lot. The whole tram process....ridiculous...I have never seen adults act like such pushy jerks. Disney needs to have a better process of loading people onto the trams and have an organized queue system, not just a free-for-all. As a full grown adult, I was getting pushed around, kids are at high risk of getting seriously injured.

 

[HollyL]

That old fashioned gesture is not always so appreciated. My DH got told off on a Disney bus for offering his seat to a pregnant woman. She smartly informed him that pregnancy was not a disease and that she ran 5 miles a day and certainly could hold up her own weight on a bus, thank you very much. He felt really embarrassed by the whole episode.

That is so sad. I truly appreciate anyone who makes a kind hearted gesture like that. What a witch.....she could have just said "No thanks" and moved on. Some people think they just need to prove a point, and end up looking like the idiot. People like her are why chivalry is pretty much dead.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

One of the biggest things that was instilled in me when I was growing up was holding the door open for people. I do it all the time (mostly unconsciously).

Sitting down on the bus or anywhere really where sitting becomes a space issue (like waiting to be seated at a restaurant) because I'm a female is actually something that I don't really think about. If I'm with my husband and there is only 1 seat then yes I sit while he stands (unless I know he really needs to sit due to exhaustion or body really hurting) and even that is not because I expect it but because he offers to but I do not in any way expect any other stranger to do this for me nor do I get upset when they don't (like I said it's not something I'm really thinking about when the situation pops up). That is just me personally.

I honestly find that crowded public places are where you can see the most stellar manners and the most obnoxious manners too. Some of the rudest people I have encounter have actually been at movie premiers when we used to do them (Harry Potter, Twilight). Trying to leave our largest fireworks display can be an absolute nightmare. It's held in a large office park with people parking in a bunch of smaller parking lots. Last time we actually went inside the office park (as opposed to parking on a side road and watching from our car which we do now because of the whole getting out mess) it took us 1hr 30 minutes to get out of the parking lot that was the closest to the exit...the problem was we had to turn left and NO ONE was willing to do what you should do which is let one car go then you go then another car goes then another car goes..everyone just wanted to go straight and the people who were turning right onto the main road had a better shot at pushing themselves into the line.

I will however say that over time the whole "only me matters" attitude is becoming more of an issue.

 

[Turn the Page]

That old fashioned gesture is not always so appreciated. My DH got told off on a Disney bus for offering his seat to a pregnant woman. She smartly informed him that pregnancy was not a disease and that she ran 5 miles a day and certainly could hold up her own weight on a bus, thank you very much. He felt really embarrassed by the whole episode.

I really feel this is one of those situations where you just can't win. You just never know if the offer would be appreciated or not.

Danged if you do and danged if you don't.

I do recall when I was pregnant how I would get a bit irritated when I was told I couldn't do things. Obvious things like sky diving and horseback riding sure, but when my ex told me I couldn't stand on a chair to reach something on a high shelf or something equally innocent I got irritated.